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Six years. Ten months. Twenty-one days.
I can't help it
I just have to count them out. I always had.
Day after day, my life has been an achievement
Now, in spite of everything...
I can say my existence is normal.
Hei bunnykin, you're not still watching TV, are you?
No Mum!
Good, because I'm about to come out of the bathroom
and if some bunnykin I know hasn't dressed up yet
I'm going to be very, very angry.
I work at the vehicle licensing office, at the window
meeting costumers' angry looks...
...confused looks... contemptuous looks
with the most polite smile.
At least on Friday night I try and have fun...
...going to the cinema with a friend...
often we go and see one of those stupid romantic comedies
where the girl always finds her true love
and sex always looks clean and innocent.
Mom! I can't find my shoes!
Under the bed.
- They're not there! - Look closer...
...and hurry up: you still have to get your schoolbag ready!
It was so hard at the beginning
because my neighbours, my colleagues and even my friends
looked at me sideways, spying on my growing belly
on my ring-less finger
and most of all, on my silences.
- Hei Mum, look! My car! - Not right now.
Your aunt is arriving in a few minutes...
Get your schoolbag ready and I'll look for your shoes.
They looked at me like they were the judge, the jury and the executioner
but those looks aren't hard to withstand anymore
now that time has made my soul stronger
and their sight foggy.
Now, not even their pity can touch me.
Mom?
Yes honey?
Are you angry with me?
No, not at all. Why do you ask me that?
Why you never look at me in my face?
No,no. I'm not angry. I... I...
Your aunt. Hurry up, put your jacket on
and take your schoolbag. C'mon.
Bye, bunnykin.
Six years. Ten months. Twenty-one days.
I've seen those eyes coming out slowly, but relentlessly.
The same eyes he had.
I still haven't been able to withstand them,
just as it happened with his father.
And sometimes I ask myself, when he'll grow up
will he have the same hands?
The same beard?
The same voice?
I spent the last few years trying to move on
but those eyes keep getting back and back
they keep looking at me
like they did that night!
Aunt, aunt, stop. There's Mum!
Mum!
- You forgot your car. - My car!
Remember to be a good boy.
I told myself he wouldn't have to pay off some other person's faults
It doesn't matter how hard could it be for me.
In time I got used to almost everything
but having those eyes so close is the hardest fight of my entire life.
Maybe I'll never get used to it, and I won't be able...
to help counting out the days that pass.
One after the other.