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I'm back
Hi God
I missed you
Ok, get in
So how was the trip?
How was the guy?
What can I say? It was hot, it was intense
it was nice, it was comfortable
it was boring, it was irritating
it was over.
I couldn't stand him
I'm sorry to hear that
I was hoping you would fall in love
- Oh, I did
- Tell me
Grace, I found the perfect
pair of jeans
I'm serious.
They're perfect
They conceal from
the world everything
which is flawed and evil and
show only that which is true and plump
I've spent my entire life
looking for a bra that'll do that
How 'bout you?
How's Nathan?
Mmm In a word
Bootylicious
Oh, it's so good
and the sex--
- He likes it, doesn't he?
- He does
- Even though you're a girl
- I know.
Crazy, isn't it?
And he does this thing--
Guys, bootylicious is in the room
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The Third Wheel Gets the Grace
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Will & Grace �ڸ���
- Morning, sweetness
- Hey, precious
Sorry, I thought
you were Grace
Well, hold that thought
Well Hold that robe closed
So, you don't happen
to know where she is?
Oh, breakfast with
her boyfriend Will
Right now, they're probably
doing that real cutesy thing
where they nibble on a piece of
bacon until they meet in the middle
"I missed you.
I love you
I missed you, too.
"
Anyway, I think
that's where they're at
Oh, I get it.
I'm supposed to
be threatened by her friendship with Will
Well, I think it's great
I've tried to have women friends
but they always end up pregnant
I jest
Well, you're a bigger man than I
Of course, I jest, too
Well It's good
but it's not as good the--
- That place off the Rue de la--
- Yeah, I know
Something about
the way they--
Yeah, and is
the guy still there?
Oh, the guy that--
Spoke like this?
That was good
I am telling you, Nate
they're joined at the unhip
Morning, sweetie
Your thoughtful girlfriend brought
you a turkey and cheese croissant
I'm a vegetarian
Which is why your
thoughtful girlfriend ate it
Oh, oh, yeah, ok, no
What you two do behind
closed doors is your business, ok
but flaunting that lifestyle like
you're doing right now is just plain ge-ross
We're not gonna
hide who we are, ok?
I mean, we date
we're straight, get used to it
Well?
What do you think?
Nice
Do they sell men's clothes
where you got those?
You don't know anything
These are fantastic French jeans
And by the way, what happened
to "welcome home, Will?"
Hmm Welcome home, Will
How 'bout the fact that
since you last saw me
I have fathered a 12-year-old boy
Yeah
While you were out of
the country discovering the gay jean
I was here raising my son
Would it have killed you to
acknowledge that the boy exists
or were you too busy high-kicking it
with Nicky Kidman at the Moulin Rouge?
What are you talking about?
I sent Elliot French comic books
video games you can't get in the U.
S.
at least six pounds of chocolate
Those were for him?
Yes
And a t-shirt that
said "Paris" on it
You mean this?
How inappropriate to buy
a 12-year-old boy a belly shirt
It would have fit him
Well, don't you have the answer
for everything, Mr.
French
Welcome back
Later on, let's catch a sad movie
with a gay undercurrent
- I love those jeans
- Thank you
I wore them to my bat-mitzvah after party(bat-mitzvah:������ �ҳ�����
These are men's jeans
Willard, relax
It's a very smart-looking pant
It'll save you having to
tell people you're gay
Hey, anyway, we better get going
We're gonna be late for yoga
- Ooh
- What?
Um, I'm sorry
Uh, I sort of promised Will that
we were gonna do mannies
and peddies this morning
You want to come?
Hm.
What's the use?
I sit for an hour, and then the second
I take my keys out of my purse
my tips are shot to hell
You two have fun
and I'll see you at dinner
- Ooh
- What?
Um Well, I was just thinking that
since it's Will's first night back
that we should go to
the Chinese restaurant that he loves
- The place with the--
- No, they closed down
- I'm talking about the--
- I love that place
Ok, so, we're still on
for this weekend, right?
Ooh
What? ?
Um, this--this weekend is
the big sale at Barney's
Um, Will and I have done it
every year since college
I mean, the-- the whole reason
Will came back from Europe early is
to go to the Barney's sale
Grace, you say it that way
you make me sound so ***
How did you want me to say it?
The Barney's sale
Grace Adler Designs
Oh, hi, Stanley
No, I'm not doing anything
Sure, ok
You want to start now?
Ok.
Yeah, I'm naked
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm
Oh, already?
Well, good for you!
Ok.
Great.
Ok, sweetie
Well, call me later.
Ok
- Miss Karen
- Oh! Oh
You scared the hell out of me
I thought you were the Chupacabra(chupacabra : ������ �����Ͽ�
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What are you doing here, anyway?
Don't you remember what today is?
Yeah.
It's national
Scrub Your Toilet day
and I think you should get home
and start celebrating!
What do mean
coming here with a--!
Oh, are those for me?
Oh, honey
They're almost beautiful
"Thank you for 15 years
Happy anniversary.
"
Oh, Rosie
I can't believe
I forgot our anniversary
I'm so sorry
Let me make it up to you
Come on
They're having a big sale
at Barney's this weekend
Here, take my charge card
go down to the men's department
and buy yourself some new shoes
By myself?
It's our anniversary
For 15 years
I kept a home for you
I've dragged your
gin-soaked *** out of bed
I've given you the breath
of life three times
Oh All right
all right
You don't have to go getting
all sentimental on me
I'll go with you
And now, ladies and gentlemen
I'd like to introduce my next guest
Celebrating his last day
of summer vacation
soon to be seen
in the seventh grade
Ladies and gentlemen
please help me welcome my son
Elliot!
How you folks doing tonight?
I love playing the main room
Can we please stop doing this?
Hey, Rose hips
I want you to meet someone
This is my biological son, Elliot
Elliot, this is my ex-wife, Rosario
- Hello, little man
- Hola
Ok, time to go, kiddo
I told your mom you'd be back by 2:00
You ok to get home? You need anything?
You need any money?
No, I'm fine
How 'bout you?
You need any money?
Oh, Elliot
He's crazy
Actually, I might want to
get a hot dog later on
There you go
- Ok, um No, I just need one
- Take two just in case
You're a good son
Come on, mijo
I'll take you to a bus stop
You can ride
on the back of my moped
Karen, I'm not gonna lie to you
I'm worried
My hair's never looked better
but am I a good dad?
I mean, I want so badly for him
to like me, but I can't tell if he does
Well, honey
you know if you want people to like you
you have to buy them things
Karen, that is so superficial
- Honey, why do you like me?
- What do you think I should get him?
Well, school's starting soon
How 'bout a nice flask
or a pencil box with a false bottom?
No Something he needs
Like back-to-school clothes
I wonder what the kids
are wearing these days
Probably not leg warmers and
jazz pants, like when I was a kid
Well, hey, I've got an idea
I'm going to the Barney's sale
with Rosario this weekend
Why don't you just come along?
Well I'll need
a little money from the ATM
Denied
Denied
Approved
- Hey, where's my best girl?
- Here I am!
I meant Grace
I'm supposed to take her to lunch
Your girlfriend's gone
She went to lunch with her husband
That is ridiculous
I mean, I wake up the other night
and there's a third person
in bed with us
Can you imagine that?
Ok, wrong question
I mean, I'm her boyfriend
and she keeps canceling on me
How would you like it if the person
you were seeing kept blowing you off?
Again, wrong question
Nathan, why are you so upset?
Well, I'm sick of
feeling like the third wheel
I-I'm tired of this arrangement
What--what arrangement?
You two
Your whole little thing
with the "why" and the "huh" and
the "no" but the "yeah" but the "I.
"
It's enough already
Ok, look, I-- I think I-- I think
I know what you're talking about
Nathan, I am so, so sorry
Look, we're doing it again
It's just like the time that--
I know, and if you recall, after Danny
- you promised--
- Well, not so much as a promise--
Stop it!
I know Will's your friend
but I'm your boyfriend
And I want a special
restaurant with you
Fine
I want a secret language
with you / Fine
And I want to go to that
Barney's sale with you
Ooh
What?
Have you seen Grace
around marked-down cashmere?
It's like the-- the first 20 minutes
of Saving Private Ryan
Oh, I like 'em, honey
They really make your apron pop
Happy anniversary
Hey, you, underachiever, wrap 'em up
Wait, wait, wait
They're nice
But I think I should
go with the Bass Weejuns
You know, preppy's back
(preppy look : ���� ���� ��Ż�ϰ�
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For God's sake, make a choice
I've got drinks piling up on my desk
and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!
Grace, it's noon
We've been here since eight A.
M
When do we get to take a break?
Sweetie, I told you
this is a marathon
not a sprint
Are you staying hydrated?
Here, eat a banana
Excuse me.
Hi
Did you get those jeans here?
Oh, actually, I got 'em in France
Really? They're great
I would love to get a pair
- Well, they're men's jeans
- Heh heh.
Well, if you say so
You and I, we have to stay focused
You know how sharks
are eating machines?
We are shopping machines
That means all we do
is shop and poop, shop
and poop, got it?
So, what are we gonna do now?
God, I hope it's shop
Now, feel free to pick out
whatever you need for school supplies
Moisturizers, hair gels
body glitter--
All your seventh grade essentials
Uh, maybe I should
just get some pants
Great.
Who do you like?
Gucci, Pucci, Fiorucci
Stanley Tucci, hootchie cootchie?
Nothing's too good for my boy
- Uh, I kind of like baggy shorts
- Ahh What else do you like?
Do they have any hockey
jerseys? / Ahh
Lord, I knew I was brough
t into this boy's life for a reason
P.
S.
-- Give me a sign if you think
I should get some highlights
- I'll give you $100 for them
- 120
These are men's pants!
They were made for men
You gotta have a Y-chromosome and
an appetite for war to even put 'em on
Ok, does this make me
look fat? / A little
What? What?
Did you really just say that?
Don't you want to
look a little fatter?
Try again
Uh Well
you're very skinny, Grace
Well, Nathan, what are you saying?
Am I fat or am I skinny?
Um, I I'm afraid to go on
- 150!
- 155!
Oh, all right
Look
come here
Come over to the mirror.
All of you
You see?
Everything about them
indicates "men's jeans.
"
The way they ride low on the hip
the thoughtful flare athe shoe
the handmade copper ingots
and look, there's a little
secret compartment in here
for your thumb or a
a tube of lipstick
Do I hear 160?
No, no.
they're a little
Sex and the City
Maybe I should look at the boots
What are you talk--
They're fine
They almost make your calves
and your ankles look like
two separate entities
Maybe I should get a coat instead
Or a blouse
- You want to get lunch and come back?
- Oh, for God's sake, just pick something
I have been standing
around here all day
with these low-end
discount-shopping freaks
Oh, not you, honey
You're perfection
But I'd rethink the yellow
It's making you look a little "hepi b.
"
Now, listen to me
I'm not standing around here
for one more minute while you--
Oh, lady, put a cork in that whine
I'm trying to make a decision
What is going on with you?
You've never had a hard time
spending my money before
- You want the truth?
- Not if it's long
What if I said I didn't
want any of these things?
I'd say you were crazy
What if I said I've just been stalling
so I could spend more time with you?
I'd say you were a lesbian
What if I said that's all
I wanted for our anniversary?
I'd say you were a crazy lesbian
Well, it's the truth
That's all I wanted
Wh-- You-- You wanted to be
with me because you like me?
OK.
This is getting
a little bit too real
Here, buy anything you want
I gotta get out of here
I can't breathe
Karen?
Can't talk--
feeling something
- Elliot, what do you think?
- I don't know, Jack
Well, I do
It's the perfect outfit
for the first day at school
So get out here and let me
see what it looks like / Ok
Haley Joel Osment
you look fantastic!
Do you really think so?
Well, yeah, the kids at your school
would kill for this look
That's what I'm afraid of--
I will be killed
What's the matter?
Don't you like it?
I look like Ricky Martin
So you do like it
Oh, that's a bad thing
I'm sorry
Well, that's all right
If you don't like it
we can get something else
Go change / Ok
I just think wearing leather pants
to P.
E.
would be a mistake
Then, why did you say you liked it
when I picked it out for you?
Well, you seemed
so excited about them
and.
What?
I just wanted you to like me
Well, you don't have to get
these clothes for me to like you, Elliot
I do like you
We're--we're good
- We are?
- Yeah
You know, besides, I'm your father
I may need a kidney one day
I guess this is where I give you
a little hit on the shoulder
Remind me to teach you
how to hit like a girl
Come on, let's go get
some clothes somewhere else
Where do you want to go?
- Uh, there's a Target near my house
- Great, let's go there
Yeah, it's right next to the place
where my mom gets her highlights
Ok, is this a powerful madam executive
having cocktails at the Mercer Hotel
or is it a P.
T.
A.
mom trying to cover up
an affair with the superintendent?
Oh, the other one?
- What other one?
- You know, the *** at the hotel
- What?!
- I--I don't--I--I'm--
- Ok, how 'bout this one?
- Uh, oh, that's the nice P.
T.
A.
one
No.
if anything
this is the *** in the hotel
I mean, I've actually seen
*** in hotels wearing this
And if that's the case
why do I want this?
Why do I want this?
Well I--
I don't know what to do
Would you please help me?
Tell me what to do.
Help me
help me, help me, help me!
I miss Will!
What?!
I want Will back
This is-- This is bad for us
There's no way that we're gonna
have sex together after I've helped
you pick out dresses for five hours
Go.
Find your friend
Finish each other's sentences
I love you, Gracie, but
I gotta go
find a sports bar
Oh, hey, I'm not intruding
I'm not intruding--
Where's Nathan?
Gone.
He cracked
under the pressure
Poor guy
Making him choose designer clothing
when the only labels he owns say
"Nathan" in red marker
Will, what do you
think of this dress?
It's fine, Mrs.
Fleischman
if you're gonna continue that affair
with the superintendent of the school district
I am so glad that you're here
Oh, I hope it's a Curly
Oh, Shemp
Well, it's still good
You know what I thought
I could wear with this?
Yeah, and I wouldn't
Why not?
wouldn't it make me look like--
Yeah, but in Planet of the Apes
not in Room With a View
I'm telling you
I love that Moe
Love you, too, Nate
He's watching
Three Stooges / Oh
Ok.
Nathan, I want--
I want to go to bed / Oh.
Ok
Nathan.
Hi.
Look at me
Hi.
I want to go to bed
Oh, oh, oh.
It's my turn
Ok.
good night, Will
I'll try to get her back to you in time for
"Where in the World is Matt Lauer.
"
Thanks, buddy
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����Ʈ ������ 24 Ŭ��
Will & Grace �ڸ���