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(buzzing sound)
(music plays)
Wow
Wow
So what do you guys think?
Best hundred dollars we ever spent! Right?
That was awesome!
You guys think so?
I mean, I'm telling you, it's so bad
It's actually good. Right?
(laughing and cheering)
(beep)
I'm back!
It has been a week since my last update, and what a week!
(music plays)
It's so bad, it's good!
That's what I was saying!
So, what now?
Upload it! Get it on Facebook and Twitter
And promote the hell out of it
So exciting
I go on Facebook like once a month
I stopped going on after Beth and I broke up
because I didn't want to be too tempted to look at her profile
This is me and my hot new boyfriend, Geraldo
on a magical trip to the French Riviera
Look how happy we are!
Share!
And this is me and Geraldo swimming nude in the Caribbean
Mmmm! Life is perfect! Share!
So I went on to Facebook before work
to share the link to the video with my 350 friends
But then I logged off very quickly
because I didn't want to get too sucked in or depressed
(beep)
So one guy from college, who I hadn't talked to in forever
texted me and said, "that video was awesome"
That was it
I went on YouTube at 4pm and it had 301 views
Oh ho ho ho, yeah!
(music plays)
What?
Oh, do not be humble man, you know exactly what
No, I really don't. What?
(music plays)
Okay, you're either the world's greatest liar
or you're completely and utterly clueless
Just tell me! What?
Our music video, man! It's blowing up!
Yeah, I would hardly call 301 views blowing up
No man, the video count is stuck
Have you not been on Facebook today?
Look. 1,253 shares, okay, and 900 comments, man!
And Carol, she's already called me twice today
We're going viral!! Do you get this??
Oh my gosh!
That's amazing!
Viral!! That's amazing!
By the end of the first day it was listed on YouTube as What's Trending
And then by the end of the second day
It was the second most viewed video on YouTube
Right behind Justin Bieber getting a parking ticket
Ewww, have you noticed how weird my face looks
at a minute and eleven seconds?
I look like a freak!
That's because you've watched that video a hundred times
Put the laptop down and let's go out, man
It's Friday night!
Ewwww (music plays)
You know, for someone who doesn't like being the center of attention
You're pretty obsessed with yourself
What?
Let's get going!
(music plays)
Our video now has over 9 million views
Aaaand, it also has just as many "Likes" as "Dislikes"
Fake. Waste of my three minutes
That beatbox guy is the hotness!
Obviously just edited to sound like that
I'd shoot these two in the head if I ever saw them
Damn
Yeah! I got called the hotness!
So I went on Facebook this morning
And I had 1,500 friend requests
Everyone wants to be my friend these days
I'm just Mr. Popular
Hey Jimmy
Hey
Hey, we love your video
Thanks
Jimmy Bales, in the house, yo! Whoop whoop!
(awkward laughter)
Do the voice, Jimmy
Yeah! Do it!
Do it. Come on man, do it. Do it. Please do it
(sighs)
I mean, I guess I should be happy
that everybody wants to talk to me again at work
But lately I just feel like I'm in the circus or something
Come on monkey! Do it! Make the noise!
What do you want me to say?
No! Do it synthesized!
Yeah! Do it!
Do it monkey!
Do it! Now! Do it!! Make that noise!
Come on monkey!! Do it! Do it!!!!
Aaaaaaaaah!!!
So the craziest part about this whole experience has been - crap!
Too late Jimmy! I warned you about this
Let's have another chat. Conference room. Right now
(beep)
(music plays)