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Previously on Cook'n'Blend...
About one hour ago I injected
a strong neurotoxin in your body...
You're a psycho, free me!
FREE ME!
I was the one pent up there, on
that chair with the psycho!
You're like me and I didn't
get where I got just whining!
Nino Seiseisei, you ***,
if you want to come here, do it!
We got a mutual enemy...
You know, I don't really like there's another Merluzzo alive around.
You don't scare me!
Meet Dudu...
Hey Paolo, come in!
Nice smell, what are you cooking?
Nothing, my neighbour is cooking, I didn't
Come in, make yourself comfortable, sit where you prefer.
Would you like a tea?
Mmh, maybe. Do you have loose leaves?
Teabag!
No, no teabag for me...
By the way, before I star cooking dinner
I must show you something.
My brand new blender!
Nice!
Today I'll teach you how to make chicken in a way you never saw before...
Chicken Marinade!
Oh screw that marinade! What's that ***?
Merluzzo's chicken!
And why the blender?
Because I'm gonna blend it!
Look! Look at him!
Anti-scratch glass, 30 ounces capacity,
jagged blades to grind ice!
A mix of elegance and perfection,
what else could you want from an appliance?
It's almost more than an appliance, the blender...
I wonder who invented it!
Stephen J. Poplawski!
In Racine, Wisconsin, in 1919
for the Arnold Electric Company.
Damn, you did your homeworks, didn't you?
But don't you forget,
we're here for another reason...
I know, we have to discuss
ideas for the YouTube channel we want to open...
But we have to eat first, Paolo!
Well, actually...
Let me teach you how to prepare Merluzzo's chicken!
You need:
chicken
pineapple juice. You'd say
"why the *** do you need pineapple juice?"
we need it because...
I'll show you later, it's something I learnt!
Black pepper, some friends brought it from Switzerland!
... and the pan.
Let's open the chicken, first of all.
Let's cut it
and put pepper on it.
Here's a tip to open a jar
when you can't.
Holy Mary, it's strong!
Let's season the chicken
when the pan is really hot
let's place our poultry in.
While it's cooking, put some
black pepper on the other side.
The secret for Merluzzo's chicken
is timing!
You know, when you cook chicken and
it comes out too dry, 'cause by the way
chicken must be well done.
What do you do in those cases?
I eat it that way I always *** it up
You *** it up because you have to
calculate properly the cooking timing.
Well, the secret is the cooking timing!
No salt, no oil,
just black pepper as seasoning.
So what about the cooking timing?
When you see it goldish on one side
you start flipping it, repeatedly.
Don't let it stick.
Done, turn the fire off.
Paolo, you can't imagine how good it is!
But who did teach this to you?
My Master, Paolo!
The one who tought me
the secrets of sport nutrition!
You really know ***!
Look, what a nice chicken!
A pinch of salt...
Look! Perfectly gold!
The pepper is right.
I cooked a breast of chicken
that's not dry,
but properly cooked.
Damn! This pepper is too spicy!
***!
That's why the pineapple!
Exact.
Well. if you want it really perfect,
Merluzzo's chicken,
you would need some Guanabana slice,
but it's very rare, I can't find it.
What? Is this you with Arnold Schwar...
THE MASTER! Pay respect!
So you were talking about him before?
Of course I was talking about him!
Now shut up, come here,
it's time to blend!
This is the chicken,
it goes into the blender,
and pineapple juice.
We have chicken protein good for your muscles
and pineapple juice.
Everybody knows that the pinapple juice...
Makes...
Burns fat!
Yes yes, I knew it!
Ready? Look!
Go!
What happens in these cases?
There's a combination!
The protein, with the fat-burner,
it's an awesome dinner!
Just the smell, uh?
You know what?
With all this blending food stuff...
I got an idea!
For the channel?
Do you know "Epic Meal Time"?
Yeah! Let's do the italian version!
Epic Blending Time!
Nope, forget the blender,
let's do a cool thing.
I can already imagine the first recipe:
Chicken Marinade, with a huge...
Paolo you busted my balls with this chicken marinade!
Chicken Marinade!Chicken Marinade!
Chicken Marinade! Enough!
You would need a look more...
- Aggressive! - Yes
Like I shave my hair
and grow a beard!
Cool, isn't it?
Taste it, meanwhile!
Are you sure?
Take it all!
Swallow!
How is it?
Not bad.
It isn't "not bad", it is better!
"Blended is better" my Master used to say.
What about a kebab instead?
Kebab?
There's a new kebab place right around the corner...
"The King of Kebab"!
- Perfect! - It appeals to me!
Do we try? Come on, let's go!
As I was saying...
Epic Blending Time!
I'm not sure about this "blending thing"
Come on, I studied the blendness so much,
let me use it in a video.
Let's make an episode, ONE, in which I blend,
just one episode!
We'll see...
By the way, we've got the idea!
There's the idea! Eating, food, beard...
One year later
Well sweetey, who's in charge now?
I'm still in charge, ***!
Oh no, I think the situation got
a little out of your hands
isn't it?
What the *** do you wanna do?
Nothing, we just wanna play a little...
Do you like this game?
Piece of ***, you won't blend kebab anymore!
You ruined my life!
Khalid, enough!
I knew, it's you behind all of this...
Here it is, YouTube's worst showman!
seems this is the last episode
What do you want from me?
You don't even have the guts
to show me your *** face!
No face could change the awful situation you ended up in!
***!
We just make entertainment,
if you don't like it, just don't watch it!
You call this "entertainment"?
You know, maybe you're right...
Maybe, it's time
to show you my face...
The way you'll understand
the *** you all have been to me.
Matteo?
I'm Matteo!
Are you an epic loser?
Blended is better for real!
...if Matteo Arienti said so...
Where did you put that?
In the ***!
It would be funny whatching
Nino Seiseisei's face when
the new Maurizio first showed up!
I come from another reality...
Is it cream?
What's the goal? Being in the car
in how many seconds?
Seven seconds!
- Maybe 30, look there - I can see it!
- No *** 30, I said 7! - No, no, we can do it!
You with the miniskirt are a big...
- Shht! Sorry! Sorry! - I didn't mean to offend you!
Sorry! Sorry!
It was a compliment! A COMPLIMENT!
- Was it always you!? - Yes, it was!
Did you think you could exclude me from your *** show forever?
I got feelings too!
So it was you to get Paolo drunk, that time, before shooting?
Yes! Yes! Yes! Enough now!
Now let's talk about me
and what I'm gonna do to you!
You're sick! You got big issues!
Shut up! Cut it!
You pulled me away from all my friends!
Now it's your time to pay the check.
It's your time to lose everything!
What it that?
How do you always say?
Bombly?
Finish him!
You saved my ***, buddy!
Who the hell are you?
Ok Pop! Let's go...
It's so vivid in my mind
the memory of the day when,
for the first time,
blendness came up to my mind
This concept, so simple
but also very hard to understand
A strenght that belongs to us all
that follows us in the path of life.
An infinite rotation cycle
that gets us close and then far
from people, places,
feelings and experiences
Something that enrichs and hurts us
every day in a different way.
As the mix of two different foods
can generate a new taste,
be it good or bad,
as union of two human beings
creates a new life in the shape
of a new and different human being.
Life is union.
Union of thoughts to solve a problem.
Union of different visions to find
a new point of view.
Union of strengts to defeat larger problems.
The base of blendness is confidence.
Confidence in other people and in ourselves,
hoping we all together,
one day,
can shape this world
and make it a better place.
It is in the name
of this universal concept,
that today
October 21th 1919,
I complete my most ambitious project...
the blender!