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>>> TONIGHT ON "RED EYE."
>> COMING UP ON "RED EYE," THE
MERMAID DEBATE HEATS UP.
SHOULD WE LET THEM ROAM WILD
OR KEEP THEM IN AN AQUARIUM
LIKE OUR CRUEL, BRITISH
NEIGHBORS.
AND WHAT DOES JIM CARREY THINK
ABOUT GREG GUTFELD NOW THAT HE
FINISHED HIS BOOK?
>> HE HAS BEEN GIVEN A GIFT HE
IS NOT APPRECIATING.
AND HE SCARED THE HELL OUT OF
ME.
>> AND FINALLY, ARE MAN-EATING
SHEEP ATTACKING OUR NATION'S
TEENS.
HOW TO STOP THE BEAST FROM
DEVOURING YOUR LOVED ONES.
>> NOW LET'S WELCOME OUR
GUESTS.
SHE DOES PULL UP FROM A TOAD
STOOL AND RIDES TO WORK ON A
CARPET BEATLE.
AND ONE OF MY CO-HOSTS ON "THE
FIVE."
THERE SHE IS LOOK HAPPY.
SHE WILL MEET YOU ANYTIME YOU
WANT IN AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT
ANYTIME YOU ARE PAYING THE
BILL.
AND DON'T JUDGE WHAT SHE
DRINKS.
AND AFTER THE SURGERY IS
COMPLETE HE WILL BE THE NEXT
BACHELORETTE.
IT IS TV'S ANDY LEVY.
AND I AM AS TICKLED AS HOT
THIRD GRADER AT *** ALLEN'S
HOUSE.
FIRST TIME GUEST AND I HAVE
NEVER SAID THAT OUT LOUD.
HIS LATEST AND GREATEST BOOK
CAME OUT IN JANUARY.
IT IS CALLED THE BABY BOOM.
>> A BLOCK.
THE LEDE.
THAT'S THE FIRST STORY.
REMEMBER, GREG, INTELLECTUAL,
YOU TOWER OVER EVERYONE.
>> IT IS A WORD YOU READ, BUT
NEVER SAY.
>> HE USED LAUGHTER TO SELL
DISASTER.
IT IS DAY WHATEVER OF --
>> OBAMA-APACALYPSO GATE.
>> IT IS THE BIG STORY WE WILL
FORGET BY TOMORROW.
PRESIDENT OBAMA APPEARED TO
URGE YOUNG PEOPLE TO SIGN UP
FOR OBAMACARE. TURKEY YOU TAKEN
OUT OF CIRCULATION, A TURKEY
YOU COULDN'T EAT?
>> THERE YOU GO.
ONE MORE CLIP PLEASE. OF KENYA?
BOTH PLACES WOULD SEEM --
>> THAT'S A RIDICULOUS
QUESTION.
>> OBVIOUS LEET INTERVIEW WAS
MANUFACTURED TO BE AWKWARD,
BUT THIS WAS
SOMETHING OUT OF THE MAJOR
FIGURE IN THIS CASE BESIDES
THE GOVERNOR.
THANK YOU CHRIS CHRISTIE.
I MEAN CHRIS --
>> LET'S GO THAT OVER AGAIN.
>> THANK YOU MICHAEL ISTACOFF
AND THANK YOU -- CHRIS --
>> THANK YOU.
>> IT IS WRONG TO LAUGH A THAT
BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN
TO US THE MOMENT YOU LAUGH AT
THAT.
>> IT WILL HAPPEN TO BOB
BECKEL.
>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
SO HE GOES ON THE SHOW AND THE
PRESIDENT IS A HIP GUY.
HE IS FUNNY AND CAN PULL THIS
OFF.
IS THIS NORMAL OR IS IT THE
OPPOSITE OF NORMAL?
>> I AM NOT GETTING IT.
I JUST FEEL LIKE ONE OF THE
NUNS AT CATHOLIC SCHOOL WITH
THE DEAD BABY JOKES.
IS THIS WHAT AMUSES KIDS
TODAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
I REALLY FELT OLD.
I AM SORT OF NOT GOING TO PASS
JUDGMENT ON WHETHER THAT IS
FUNNY OR NOT.
THAT WOULD BE JUDGMENTAL.
>> BEING JUDGMENTAL IS NOT
FUNNY ANYMORE.
>> I WATCHED THE WHOLE THING,
AND IT STANK.
>> I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO
PUT IT MORE THAN THAT.
>> I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF DEAD
BABY JOKES IN DECADES.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE.
YOU CANNOT DO THOSE.
JOANNE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I
AM TALKING ABOUT.
>> I WASN'T BORN YET.
>> YOU ARE -- YOU WERE NOT
EVEN AN ALIVE BABY.
>> WHAT A IS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN A TRUCK FULL OF DEAD
BABIES AND A TRUCK FULL OF
BOWLING BALLS.
WE ARE T GOING TO BROADCAST
THE PUMP LINE.
THE PUNCH LINE.
>> A LOT OF YOU OUT THERE OF A
CERTAIN AGE WILL KNOW.
>> THERE ARE MEDIA REPORTERS
SAYING I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY
ARE TALKING ABOUT.
ASK YOUR PARENTS.
DANA, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS
EARLIER.
AND WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT
IT AGAIN.
BASICALLY THERE WEREN'T A LOT
OF GOOD STORIES TODAY.
DOES THIS DEMEAN THE
PRESIDENCY, OR DOES THE
PRESIDENCY DEMEAN TWO FERNS?
>> THE TWO FERNS HAVE A LOT TO
SAY FOR THEMSELVES.
PEOPLE LIKE ME SAY I WOULD
NEVER ASK THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES, THE
COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF, THE LEADER
OF THE FREE WORLD TO GO ON TO
FERN TO SELL HIS FAILING
POLICY.
I JUST WOULDN'T DO IT.
HOWEVER, I THINK THEY LOOK AT
SOMEBODY LIKE ME AND SAY
THAT'S WHY REPUBLICANS DON'T
WIN ELECTIONS.
THAT WAS HILARIOUS, PEOPLE.
>> WAIT, THAT IS WHY
REPUBLICANS VOTE?
>> WE DON'T THINK TWO FERNS IS
FUNNY.
>> I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE
PUT HIM THERE.
AND THE OTHER THING THE WHITE
HOUSE TRIES TOO MUCH TO BE --
IT IS LIKE THE FEATURE IN "US
WEEKLY" AND IT IS JUST LIKE
US.
I DON'T WANT THE PRESIDENT TO
BE JUST LIKE ME.
I WANT HIM TO BE BETTER THAN
ME.
I DON'T WANT HIM TO WATCH TWO
FERNS.
>> IT IS CASTING TOO.
SOMEBODY SAID ONE OF THE OLD
HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS WHEN
RONALD REAGAN WAS RUNNING FOR
PRESIDENT.
RONALD COLEMAN IS PRESIDENT.
HE IS THE PRESIDENT'S BEST
FRIEND.
>> I HAVE SEEN PRESIDENT OBAMA
AT THOSE DENARS IN
WASHINGTON.
AT THOSE DINNER IN
WASHINGTON.
YOU HAVE TO BE CAST RIGHT FOR
IT.
>> THAT'S THE THING.
A CELEBRITY WILL DO THIS.
I HAVE WATCHED THIS BETWEEN
TWO FERNS BEFORE AND HE HAS
CELEBRITIES COME ON AND HE
POKES FUN.
WHY WOULD YOU AS A PRESIDENT
BE WILLING TO GO ON AND POKE
FUN AT YOU AND YOUR CAREER?
>> HE WAS SELLING OBAMACARE.
THIS IS PROPAGANDA DRAPED AS
IRONY.
WHAT DRIVES ME NUTS IS THE
OFFICE HUMOR.
INSTEAD OF APPLAUD THE
LAUGHTER IT IS THE AWKWARD
STAIR.
WE ARE ALL IN ON THIS
MANUFACTURED AWKWARDNESS.
BUT THAT WAS THE COCOON.
INSIDE THAT COCOON WAS THE
OBAMACARE BOMB.
>> HE WAS SELLING OBAMACARE,
BUT HE WASN'T DOING IT WELL.
HE SAID MOST YOUNG AMERICANS
ARE UNINSURED.
IT IS ACTUALLY ONLY 25% OF
AMERICANS ARE NOT INSURED.
HE DIDN'T EVEN GO -- DO A GOOD
JOB.
>> BECAUSE THEY ARE ON OUR
INSURANCE UNTIL THEY ARE 40
BECAUSE OF OBAMACARE.
>> THEY SHOULD DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN.
>> THEY SHOULD SMOKE AND
DRINK.
GET SICK, KIDS.
OTHERWISE WHAT IS THE
INSURANCE FOR?
>> ANDY, COULD ANYBODY ON THE
RIGHT PULL THIS OFF?
ANY CANDIDATE THAT YOU THENG
THAT IS OUT THERE THAT CAN DO
THIS, AND ISN'T THAT PROBABLY
ONE OF THE ISSUES?
>> I THINK IT IS THE ISSUE.
WE WERE TALKING EARLIER AND
MAYBE CHRIS CHRISTIE IS THE
ONLY ONE WHO COULD DO IT.
>> I AM NOT SURE HIS EGO WOULD
BE THE STRAIGHT MAN.
I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.
I LIKED IT.
I THINK TO ME THIS IS
CONSERVATIVES FALLING INTO THE
SAME TRAP THEY FALL INTO EVERY
TIME.
THEY ACT AS IF POP CULTURE
DOESN'T MATTER.
IT IS CALLED POP CULTURE
BECAUSE POP IS SHORT FOR
POPULAR.
PEOPLE LIKE IT.
>> I DIDN'T SAY IT WASN'T
FUNNY.
I JUST SAID I DIDN'T GET IT.
>> BUT THAT'S OKAY.
YOU ADMITTED THAT.
>> MY PROBLEM IS IT IS FOR A
GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT LIKE TO
SNEER AT THE ELITE.
CONSERVATIVES CAN BE MORE
ELITIST THAN LIBERALS.
>> THEY UNDERSTAND THAT POP
CULTURE SELLS AND
CONSERVATIVES MOCK IT.
>> AND LOOK WHAT THAT HAS
GOTTEN THEM.
>> IT GOT THEM THE
PRESIDENCY.
>> LOOK WHERE IT GOT THE
COUNTRY.
>> ARE OBAMA'S NUMBERS UP?
>> THEY DIDN'T HAVE AN AFFECT
ON OBAMACARE.
>> PUTIN DID NOT START QUAKING
IN HIS BOOTS WHEN HE SAW
THIS.
>> SHOULD I ANSWER THE
QUESTION ABOUT THE
REPUBLICANS?
>> TED CRUISE COULD DO IT
WELL.
I THINK SO.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> JOHN McCAIN.
>> JOHN McCAIN WAS FUNNY,
BUT I GUESS HE --
>> ROM NAY
IT -- ROMNEY COULD HAVE DONE
IT.
>> I GUESS.
>> THEY WILL DO THE SAME THING
IN 2016 AND LOOK DOWN AT STUFF
LIKE THIS AND SIT THERE AND GO
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUNG PEOPLE
WON'T VOTE FOR US.
>> I LIKE THAT VOICE BY THE
WAY.
NICE IMPRESSION.
>> THAT WAS MY WE JUST BLEW
ANOTHER ELECTION VOICE.
>> WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THE 45
MILLION ON FOOD STAMPS CAN GET
OFF FOOD STAMPS.
>> SHE WHICH ONE GETS PEOPLE
TO THE VOTING BOOTH.
>> THEY ALWAYS HAVE FIVE
AUDIENCES.
THE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ONE
AUDIENCE.
>> THEY SAY WHAT IS HE DOING?
>> NOW THAT MARIJUANA IS BEING
LEGALIZED YOU WON'T FIND
ANYBODY UNDER 45.
>> THAT WAS WHY IT WAS
CRIMINALIZATION.
>> GET THEM OUT OF THERE.
>> UNLESS IT IS A DORITO
EXEMPTION.
>> THEY START GIVING OUT FREE
DORRITOS.
>> ARE WE HAPPIER OR
CRAPPIER?
>> THAT'S THE SUBJECT OF
TONIGHT'S --
>> "RED EYE" DO BEAT LIVE FROM
THE" RED EYE" DEBATE CENTER.
>> WELCOME LIVE FROM THE "RED
EYE" DEBATE CENTER.
IT IS THE HOST OF THE "RED
EYE" DEBATE.
REFRAIN FROM APPLAUSE UNTIL
AFTER THE DEBATE IS OVER.
ACCORDING TO A FOX NEWS POLL,
40% OF AMERICANS THINK THE
COUNTRY IS BETTER OFF COMPARED
TO FIVE YEARS AGO.
60% DISAGREE.
TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE,
THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
34 AND 60%.
59% SAY HE IS MOSTLY FAILED.
SO ARE WE BETTER OFF AS A
COUNTRY?
WE ASKED A
>> THEY SEEM INDIFFERENT TO
ME.
I DON'T KNOW.
I COULD STAIR AT IT FOR
ANOTHER HOUR, BUT I DON'T
THINK IT WILL CHANGE
ANYTHING.
PJ, ARE WE BETTER OFF OR ARE
WE WORSE?
>> WE ARE ALL FIVE YEARS
OLDER.
>> THAT IS RUINING MY LIFE.
I'M OLD NOW.
>> DID THEY ASK US A DAY AFTER
CRIMEA?
HAVE WE IMPROVED AMERICA'S
IMAGE AROUND THE WORLD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
>> YOU SAID WE WERE BETTER OFF
5 YEARS AGO THANKS TO
OBJECTIONY OBJECTIONY --
OXYCONTIN.
>> IT HELPS.
I AM THINKING MORE CLEARLY AND
I HAVE TO BALANCE IT OUT WITH
OTHER DRUGS.
>> THE FOX POLL IS ALMOST
CONSISTANT WITH EVERY OTHER
POLL.
THEY HAVE AMERICA THINKING
THAT WE ARE ON THE WRONG TRACK
AT 62%.
THESE ARE DURABLE NUMBERS AND
IT IS A TREND.
IT IS HARD WHEN YOU ARE IN THE
SECOND TERM TO ENTER -- TO
IMPROVE UPON THOSE.
THE QUESTION THAT WILL
START -- THAT WE WILL NEED TO
ASK FROM BOTH DEMOCRATS AND
REPUBLICANS IS WHERE DO YOU
WANT TO BE FIVE YEARS FROM
NOW?
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
HOPE FOR AT THAT POINT AND
THAT'S WHAT THE ELECTION WILL
TURN ON IN 2016.
>> I JUST WANT TO BE ALIVE.
I HAVE LOW EXPECTATIONS FOR MY
FUTURE.
AS LONG AS I AM HANGING AROUND.
FIVE YEARS AGO YOU WERE IN
SECOND GRADE.
LIFE HAS TO BE BETTER FOR YOU
BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE THE
WEIRD LUNCH BOX SMELL THAT
SEEMS TO PERMEATE.
>> THAT'S ALL.
>> NOT IF YOU HAVE A KID THAT
HAS A PEANUT ALLERGY.
>> I THINK FIVE YEARS, IT IS
LIKE A RELATIONSHIP.
THAT'S HOW A LOT OF AMERICANS
FEEL.
IT IS LIKE WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN
OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP IN
THE LAST FIVE YEARS?
NOT MUCH.
I HAD ALL OF THESE
EXPECTATIONS.
YOU PROMISED ME THE WORLD IN
TERMS OF EMPLOYMENT AND HEALTH
CARE AND I AM NOT GETTING IT.
I CAN'T BREAK UP WITH YOU.
I AM JUST GOING TELL YOU HOW
UPSET I AM.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
>> AND YOU ARE GOING TO
CHEAT.
>> I WILL SMOKE SOME POT UNTIL
I FEEL BETTER.
>> YOU KNOW, ESPECIALLY WITH
THE OXYCONTIN.
>> I WANT THE KIDS OUT OF THE
DAMN HOUSE.
THAT'S WHAT I AM LOOKING
FORWARD TO.
THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WHO
COMES ALONG AND PROMISES THE
PROGRAM TO GET THE KIDS OUT OF
THE DAMN HOUSE IN THE NEXT
FIVE YEARS HAS GOT MY VOTE.
>> THAT PROGRAM IS JOBS.
UNFORUNFORTUNATELY WE DON'T
HAVE ANY.
FIVE YEARS AGO YOU WERE FULL
OF HOPE AND IDEALISM.
YOU ARE COVERED IN CAT DANDER
AND HOPING FOR A QUICK DEATH.
>> THAT'S NOT COMPLETELY
TRUE.
MY FIRST WORD WAS UG.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FULL OF HOPE
OR IDEALISM.
>> HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN
LOVE?
>> YEAH.
>> WAIT A SECOND.
THAT'S A SCOOP.
>> REALLY?
>> WITH A PERSON?
>> MAKE SURE YOU GET TO YOUR
BLOG AND PUT THAT OUT THERE.
>> I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
ON TO SOMETHING OR MAYBE JUST
ON SOMETHING.
I AM NOT SURE.
I THINK TO SOME EXTENT WE HAVE
BEEN CONDITIONS TO BE LESS
HAPPY OR TO EXPECT MORE.
THEY WERE HAPPIER WITH LESS
BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T EXPECT
MORE.
IT IS NOT NECESSARILY A BAD
THING.
WE SHOULD EXPECT MORE.
BUT IT IS TOUGH FOR PEOPLE TO
BE HAPPY WHEN THEY ARE TOLD
YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
HAPPY UNLESS YOU HAVE ALL OF
THIS.
>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
>> ALL OF THE POLITICIANS
OVERPROMISED TO THEM.
>> THE STIMULUS WILL HELP THE
ECONOMY AND AMERICA WILL BE
MORE RESPECTED IN THE WORLD.
NONE OF THAT COMES TRUE.
>> I DON'T EVEN MEAN
POLITICALLY.
I MEAN JUST IN OUR LIVES IN
GENERAL.
WE HAVE BECOME -- EARLIER
GENERATIONS HAD A LOT LESS
THAN WE DO.
>> I CAN REMEMBER WHEN THE
KIDS GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE.
I GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE AND
THEY NEVER SAW ME AGAIN.
>> YOU ARE AN EARLY
GENERATION.
YOU JUST WANT THE KIDS OUT OF
THE HOUSE.
AND THEN YOU WILL BE HAPPY.
WE WANT MORE THAN THAT.
THE GENERATIONS BEFORE US --
>> GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
REMEMBER THE OLD SLOGAN, THE
RENT'S TOO HIGH?
THE KIDS ARE TOO HIGH.
MY THEORY IS BECAUSE THE
EXPECTATIONS -- EXPECTATIONS
ARE HIGH BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE
EVERYTHING PEOPLE HAVE.
YOU CAN TURN ON ANY CABLE
NETWORK AND SEE THAT SOMEBODY
IN YOUR AGE-GROUP HAS MORE
THAN YOU.
IT USED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE
WERE YOU WERE ENVIOUS OF YOUR
NEIGHBOR.
>> I BLAME THIS ON PENTHOUSE
MAGAZINE.
BACK IN THE 70s YOU WOULD
OPEN UP A PEPT HOUSE AND YOU
CAN SEE -- PENTHOUSE AND YOU
CAN SEE EVERYTHING'S SHE'S
GOT.
>> WAS MORE OF SWANK.
NO PUN, BARRIERS TO ENTRY FOR
CERTAIN THINGS HAVE
DISAPPEARED.
IN TESTIMONIES OF CONTACTING
PEOPLE LIKE FRIENDS PURCHASING
ITEMS AND ***, IT IS
EASY TO GET EVERYTHING NOW.
THAT PROBABLY CONTRIBUTES TO A
LACK OF HAPPINESS.
>> I JUST GOT AN E-MAIL FROM
THE KID WHO TOLD ME THERE WAS
NO SANTA CLAUS.
HE WANTS TO GET BACK IN
TOUCH.
>> I WOULD ALSO ARGUE THAT
DANA'S OXYCONTIN IS
PRESCRIPTION.
I DON'T THINK IT IS.
I THINK SHE HAS A GUY.
>> WELL I HAVE TO GET THAT
NUMBER.
WE SOLVED NOTHING.
COMING UP, TUBA'S MUSICAL
INSTRUMENTS.
THE 12-PART "RED EYE"
INVESTIGATION STARTING NEXT
YEAR.
FIRST, IS KEITH RICHARDS
WRITING A CHILDREN'S BOOK?
LET'S JUST SAY HE IS NOT, NOT
WRITING A CHILDREN'S BOOK.
>>> HE WENT FROM WRITING BOOKS
TO KIDDIE HOOKS.
HE SIGNED A DEAL FOR A KID DI
E BOOK.
THE BOOK IS CALLED "GUS AND
ME" THE STORY OF MY GRAND DAD
AND FIRST GUITAR AND IT IS
ABOUT KEITH'S INTRODUCTION TO
MUSIC BY HIS JAZZ MUSICIAN
GRANDFATHER.
SAID THE 70-YEAR-OLD STILL
LIVING LEGEND, QUOTE, THE
BOND -- THE SPECIAL BOND
BETWEEN KIDS AND GRANDPARENTS
IS UNIQUE AND SHOULD BE
TREASURED.
THAT IS SO TRUE.
I AM
>> WELL DONE, GUYS.
T.J., HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF
WRITING A CHILDREN'S BOOK?
>> OH YEAH.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY
CHILDREN'S BOOKS SELL?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> IT IS LIKE NATIONAL DEBT
NUMBERS.
ANY AUTHOR WOULD FALL UPON
THEIR LAPTOP IN DESPAIR SEEING
THIS.
AND THEY CONTAIN NOTHING.
"HUNGER, HUNGER CATERPILLAR"
WAS WRITTEN ON A BET UNDER
WATER IN 10 SECONDS.
>> THAT'S THE SECRET.
THAT IS THE SECRET.
>> MY THEORY, DANA -- ACTUALLY
WHEN YOU GO TO A BOOKSTORE DO
EY POINT YOU TO THE
CHILDREN'S SECTION?
>> YES.
>> I BELIEVE ALMOST ALL OF
THESE ARE VANITY PROJECTS FROM
RICH PEOPLE WHO ARE BORED.
>> YES.
RAQUEL WELSH HAD ONE.
I HAVE A GRD IDEA.
IF YOU ARE DOING A CHILDREN'S
BOOKS YOU HAVE TO THINK OF IT
AS A SERIES.
REMEMBER WHERE'S WALDO?
SERIOUSLY, HEAR ME OUT.
WHERE IS JASPER?
YOU TAKE HIM AROUND AND CAN DO
WHERE IS JASPER IN NEW YORK
CITY?
WHERE IS JASPER COLORADO 1234
WHERE IS JASPER CANADA.
WE CAN TRAVEL THE WORLD ON
JASPER'S DIME.
>> EVERYONE KNOWS WHERE JASPER
IS BECAUSE YOU TWEET IT EVERY
FIVE SECONDS.
>> THAT'S A TEASE.
>> I GOT A GREAT CHILDREN'S
BOOK HAD WHY THINKING ABOUT
FOR YEARS.
IT IS CALLED "HEATHER HAS TWO
NANNIES" AND IT IS FOR RICH.
>> THERE IT IS.
I THINK WE MADE THE BOOK
COVER.
THAT IS ACTUALLY A GREAT
IDEA.
DON'T WE HAVE DANA'S BOOK
COVER?
PROBABLY ASKING TOO MUCH AT
THIS POINT.
>> THERE IT IS.
>> JASPER THE WELL READ DOG.
>> I LOVE THAT!
>> CAN YOU SHOW MY BOOK
COVER?
I THINK IT IS THE MOST
IMPORTANT.
THE FRIENDLY MAN IN THE WHITE
PANEL VAN. I THINK THERE IS A
WAR ON STRANGERS.
MOST CRIME IS COMMITTED BY
PEOPLE YOU KNOW JIE. ***
ALLEN HAS THE MOVIE RIGHTS.
>> THE THIRD BOOK IN THE
SERIES GOT REALLY DARK.
>> I GUESS WHATEVER KIDS THAT
ARE STILL LEFT THAT ARE
READING IT, YOU KNOW, THEY
UNDERSTAND.
>> IT IS A WARNING TO
CHILDREN.
ANYWAY, JOANNE, YOU RECENTLY
LEARNED TO READ.
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> DO YOU THINK WRITING A
CHILDREN'S BOOK IS AN
ACCOMPLISHMENT?
>> WE DIDN'T GET TO MY BOOK
COVER, BUT IT WOULD BE CALLED
"MY BACK BRACE AND ME."
>> IT WAS A STRUGGLE BEING
YOUNGER HAVING SCOLIOSIS AND
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO
HAVE A BOOK TO GUIDE ME
THROUGH.
>> THINK ABOUT ALL OF THE
CHILDREN YOU WILL HELP.
>> AND THE DUDES INTO CHICKS
WITH BACK BRACES.
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
SURPRISINGLY THERE ARE A BUNCH
OF CELEBRITIES WHO YOU
WOULDN'T THINK WOULD HAVE
CHILDREN'S BOOKS, BUT HAVE.
ALEX RODRIGUEZ HAS ONE.
STING.
>> STING?
>> WEIRD AL?
I'M GETTING THAT FOR MY KIDS.
>> AND JULIE ANDREWS.
THAT WAS THE WEIRDEST OF ALL.
>> WHY?
SHE WAS MARY POP -- POPPINS.
>> I WAS MAKING A JOKE.
>> I WAS PLAYING ALONG.
>> WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO
BETWEEN TWO FERNS.
IT NEVER WORKS.
>> I WAS MAKING A JOKE AND
PLAYING ALONG POORLY.
>> ANDY, KEITH RICHARD'S BOOK
THOUGH -- ARE YOU A MUSICIAN.
I THINK HIS BOOK IS GREAT.
IT IS TEACHING KIDS TO PLAY AN
INSTRUMENT.
IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
YOU CAN DO FOR A KID'S BRAIN.
>> GUS IS STREET SLANG FOR
OXYCONTIN.
>> I DISAGREE.
>> THAT'S WHAT KIDS ARE INTO.
>> I DISAGREE.
>> THEY ARE INTO ADD DEER
ROLL.
>> I WROTE A CHILDREN'S BOOK
OF MY OWN.
IT IS CALLED KEEP IT DOWN OR
YOU WILL WEAR A FROWN.
TLS THE STORY OF HOW
KEEPING -- BEING QUIET IS
GOOD.
I CAN READ A LITTLE.
KEEP IT DOWN OR YOU MIGHT
DROWNED.
KEEP IT DOWN OR YOU WILL BUST
YOUR CROWN.
COULDN'T GET A LOT FROM
PUBLISHING.
>> ARE YOU JEWISH.
>> I CAN'T THINK OF ANY OTHER
REASON IT WOULDN'T GET
PUNISHED.
>> YOU DO OWN ALL OF MEDIA.
>> I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK
THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.
>> THERE IS A LOT OF
ANTI-SEMITISM.
>> IT IS SELF-HATING.
>> SELF-PUBLISHING AND
SELF-HATING.
>> I DO THINK THAT BOOK IS
ACTUALLY GOING TO BE A
MILLIONth SELLER.
>> MINE?
>> YES.
>> GO TO SLEEP.
>> THAT WAS -- WE HAD THAT GUY
ON HERE.
IT ANGERED ME.
>> HOW ABOUT "EVERYBODY
POOPS."
SMART.
>> I DIDN'T NEED A BOOK TO
KNOW THAT.
>> ONCE YOU GET PAST A CERTAIN
AGE IT IS NOT NECESSARILY
TRUE.
YOU KNOW FOR GRANDPARENTS' DAY
OR SOME OTHER OCCASION.
>> "EVERYBODY POOPS" SHOULD
HAVE BEEN THE NAME OF CHUCK
BERRY'S AUTO-BIOGRAPHY.
>> YOU ARE SICK.
>> IT HPLE AT
HOME.
GOOGLE CHUCK BERRY.
>> BY THE WAY I DIDN'T GOOGLE
THAT, BUT I HEARD YOU AND BOB
TALKING ABOUT IT.
>> IT IS ONE MORE THING YOU
DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
THAT'S WHAT THE INTERNET IS
FOR.
WHAT DON'T I WANT TO KNOW
TODAY?
WHERE IS MY 16-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
>> THAT IS SO TRUE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, THE THINGS YOU
DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU END UP
HAVING TO LOOK UP.
>> YOU DO.
>> YOU CAN'T STOP YOURSELF.
>> THERE IS AN APP FOR THAT.
>> IT IS CALLED THROWING AWAY
YOUR LAPTOP.
>> COMING UP, THE C BLOCK.
THE C BLOCK IS BROUGHT TO YOU
BY MOUNTAINS.
MOUNTAINS, LARGE, NATURAL
ELEVATIONS OF THE EARTH'S
SURFACE, SOMETIMES REFERRED TO
AS A STEEP HILL.
THANKS, MOUNTAINS.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME, GREG.
DID YOU GET MY E-MAIL.
>> YES, I WAS REALLY BUSY.
>> YOU ARE ALWAYS BUSY.
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
>> GREG, I AM NOT DUMB.
I CAN TAKE A HINT.
>> I AM NOT.
>> WE PECK UP WHERE NO ONE
ELSE LEFT OFF.
CAREER CHOICES THAN BOYS.
UNLIKE THOSE WHO PLAYED WITH
MRS. SPUD.
THEY BLAMED BARBIE'S SEX
LIESED LIESED -- SEXUALIZED
APPEARANCE.
I BLAME IT ON THE STUPID
STUDY.
FOR MORE LET'S GO
>> THAT IS NOT FUNNY.
>> I DON'T FIND THAT AMUSING
AT ALL JIE. IT REALLY BELONGS
BETWEEN TWO FERNS.
>> AT LEAST FIND THE HUMOR IN
IT BEFORE IT GOES UP THERE.
>> DID YOU PLAY WITH BARBIES?
IS THAT WHY YOU SELF-HARM?
>> I CAN'T REMEMBER HAVING A
BARBIE UNTIL I WAS OLDER.
MY PARENTS DIDN'T BUY STUFF
LIKE THAT FOR US.
I ALSO HAD A MR. POTATO HEAD
AND I HAD A MRS. POTATO HEAD
AND THEY GOT MARRIED.
>> AND THEY HAD TATER TOTS?
>> IN RUSSIA AND CHINA THEY
ARE STUDYING HOW TO RULE THE
WORLD.
IN AMERICA, WE ARE SPENDING
MONEY ON STUDIES ABOUT A TOY
THAT HAS BEEN THE MOST
OVERSTUDIED TOY IN THE WORLD,
EVER.
>> IT SHOULD ONLY BE STUDIED
BY CUB SCOUTS.
>> AS A FORMER CUB SCOUT,
BARBIE DOES DESTROY DREAMS.
MY SISTER SAID I TOOK THE
BARBIE'S CLOTHES OFF AND THERE
IS NOTHING THERE.
NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING.
IT DESTROYED DREAMS.
>> I WAS 35 BEFORE I WAS
TAKING THE CLOTHES OFF OF A
REAL GIRL FOR FEAR.
>> I WONDER IF THAT IS TRUE.
THAT COULD BE VERY, VERY
FUNNY.
WHERE AM I?
JOANNE, WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD
YOU DIDN'T HAVE MUCH YOU
PLAYED WITH DISCARDED CHICKEN
BONES FOUND IN THE TRASH.
YOU TURNED OUTCOME PLEATLY
SCREWED UP.
COULD IT BY -- COULD IT BE IF
YOU HAD A BARBIE IT WOULD BE
BETTER?
>> I MADE STICK FIGURES WITH
THE BONES.
THIS IS ALL I AM USED TO.
WE REALLY NEED TO GIVE THEM
MORE PLAY OPTIONS.
>> ISN'T THIS A COMPLETE LOAD
OF CRAP.
>> IT IS GIRLS AGES 4 TO 7.
THEY DON'T HAVE A GREATER
GRASP OF ANYTHING.
THEY ARE JUST TRYING TO PLAY
AND HAVE FUN.
MAYBE THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE
THE COLOR PURPLE OR THEY
THOUGHT THEY WERE A STAR.
I CAN'T BE A RACE CAR DRIVER
BECAUSE I AM NOT A REAL
PERSON.
>> I THINK THEY WERE THINKING
ABOUT THEIR CAREER OPTIONS.
>> THAT WAS AN OPTION.
>> BUT LET US THINK BACK TO
WHEN WE WERE IN COLLEGE.
WHO MAJORED IN SOCIOLOGY?
WHO MAJORED IN PSYCHOLOGY?
WHO MAJORED IN ANTHROPOLOGY?
MORONS.
>> PSYCH MAJORS WERE CRAZY.
>> PSYCH MAJOR WERE CRAZY AND
SOCIOLOGY MAJORS WERE LAZY.
ANANTHROPOLOGY MAJORS WANTED
TO SCREW FOREIGN GIRLS
BASICALLY.
>> HOW DID THEY SCREW THEM?
>> THEY WOULD SIT THEM IN A
ROOM WITH A BARBIE AND A
MRS. POE -- POTATO HEAD.
>> ANDY, WHAT IS BEHIND ALL OF
THIS BARBIE SHAMING?
>> I THINK IT IS OKAY IF THEY
USE THE DOCTOR BARBIE DOLL.
>> I THINK THE STUDY IS
BACKWARDS.
I THINK PLAYING WITH
MRS. POTATO HEAD DOLLS MADE
THEM OPEN TO MORE CAREER
OPTIONS.
IT IS NOT THAT BARBIE MADE
THEM OPEN TO FEWER.
THINK ABOUT THIS.
WHEN YOU PLAY WITH THE DOLL
YOU CAN PUT THE MOUTH WHERE
THE EARS GO AND THE MOUTH
WHERE THE NOSE GOES.
IT TEACHES YOU THAT
POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS AND
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
>> I WOULD ARGUE THE
OPPOSITE.
>> I AM CONVINCED THAT I AM
RIGHT ABOUT THIS.
THESE GUYS DOING THE STUDY ARE
MORONS.
THAT NEVER ENTERED THEIR
MINDS.
>> THE REASON WHY YOU SEE AN
INCREASE IN SERIAL KILLING IS
THEY PLAYED WITH MR. POTATO
HEAD AND THEY SAID I CAN
REMOVE THEIR EARS AND NOSES.
>> THAT OPENS A CAREER
POSSIBILITY.
>> ALSO THE RISE OF PLASTIC
SURGERY DIRECTLY RELATED TO
MR. POTATO HEAD.
>> I AM TIRED OF THIS.
WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
WE WILL TALK ABOUT THE LATEST
BOOK.
"NOT COOL" COMING OUT NEXT
WEEK.
IN A CITY NEAR YOU.
31 CITIES, 11 DAYS HERE IS IS
A LOOK.
REGAN LIBRARY, YIPEE.
G GUTFELD.COM.
I MEANT THAT SINCERELY.
THE SCHEDULE IS THERE AT G
GUTFELD.COM TO FIND OUT WHERE
I AM GOING TO BE.
>>> REPUBLICAN PARTY REPTILES,
PARLIAMENT ***, "50 SHADES
OF GRAY."
AND THE LATEST AND GREATEST
"THE BABY BOOM" HOW IT GOT
THAT WAY AND I WILL NEVER DO
IT AGAIN.
LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS BOOK.
IT IS ABOUT THE BABY BOOMERS.
IT IS GOOD AND NICE TO THEM.
>> I HAD ANOTHER IDEA FOR A
BOOK.
I GO TO MY PUBLISHER AND HE
SAYS, THAT'S STUPID.
HE SAID DO YOU REALIZE -- THIS
IS LIKE TWO YEARS AGO.
TWO YEARS IN 2014 WHEN THIS
BOOK COMES OUT, IT IS THE YEAR
THAT THE YOUNGEST BABY BOOMERS
TURNED 50.
THE GENERATION THAT WAS GOING
TO STAY YOUNG FOREVER, THE
YOUNGEST OF THEM ARE 50.
>> I WAS BORN IN 1964.
>> YOU ARE THERE ON THE
LAST -- YOU ARE VERY, VERY --
YOU ARE IN YOUR 50s! IN
HONG KONG WITH AN OLD BUDDY OF
MINE AND HE PUTS HIS ARM
AROUND MY SHOULDER AND HE
SAID, PJ, IS THERE A GIRL WHO
JUST COMPLETELY BROKE YOUR
HEART BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND
YOU REMEMBER EVERY HORRIBLE
DETAIL OF IT?
AND I SAID YEAH.
AND HE SAID SHE'S 50!
>> THAT'S REALLY TRUE.
>> NOW I FEEL HAPPY AGAIN.
BEFORE I WAS SAD.
>> THE WHOLE BOOK WAS TO MAKE
US FEEL HAPPY AGAIN.
>> HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
>> I JUST WRITE ABOUT ALL OF
THE OTHER THINGS TO THE EKE
TENT ANY OF US CAN REMEMBER.
AGAIN IF KEITH RICHARDS CAN
WRITE AN AUTO-BIOGRAPHY WHAT
CAN HE POSSIBLY REMEMBER?
>> GO AHEAD.
>> TAKE THE GENERATION
INFORMANT, THE BIG END OF THE
GENERATION THAT IS BORN IN THE
LATE 40s AND IT TAKES US
THROUGH THE EARLY 70s AND IT
TAKES US UP TO THE P OI NT WE
CREATED THE WORLD.
>> WE CREATED A LOT.
WE CREATED SEX.
BABIES WERE FOUND UNDER
CABBING CABBING -- CABBAGE
LEAVES.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, THINK
ABOUT YOUR PARENTS HAVING
SEX.
>> NO.
>> IT NEVER HAPPENED.
WE INVENTED THE SELF.
WE MADE IT A COMPLETELY
SELF-CENTERED WORLD AND IT
WORKS.
IT IS LIKE ADAM SMITH WITH
EVERYBODY WORKS SELFISHLY FOR
THEIR OWN BENEFIT.
IN THE BABY BOOM WE DON'T
WORK, BUT WE RAY SELFISH FOR
OUR OWN -- WE ARE SELFISH FOR
OUR OWN BENEFIT.
WE ARE SUCH A MUCH NICER
GENERATION THAN THE GREATEST
GENERATION.
WE JUST WANT TO GIVE THE WORLD
A HUG AND A DRUG.
WE DON'T WANT WORLD WAR II AND
WE DON'T WANT WORLD WAR 3.
>> I THINK YOU INVENTED
STRESS.
REMEMBER WE -- WE CALL THINGS
STRESS NOW THAT USED TO BE
LIFE, RIGHT?
>> NOT REALLY.
OUR PARENTS WERE INTERESTING
ABOUT THIS.
THEY DID WORRY.
NOT IN THE WAY WE DO.
THEY SMOKED WHILE PREGNANT AND
HAD A COUPLE OF EXTRA FOR THE
DRIVE HOME AND TURNED US LOOSE
IN THE BACKYARD WITH LAWN
DARTS, BUT IN A CRIME FREE
NEIGHBORHOOD THEY ARE LOCKING
EVERY DOOR.
THEY HAD SPECIFIC WORRIES.
THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE LUXURY OF
FREE RANGE WORRY THE WAY WE
DO.
WE ARE ANXIOUS ABOUT
EVERYTHING.
BUT WE ALSO INVENTED DRUGS.
IT IS ALL OKAY.
>> IT IS TRUE THOUGH.
I AM MARRIED TO A RUSSIAN AND
IT IS LIKE BEING MARRIED TO
SOMEBODY FROM THE PREVIOUS
GENERATION.
SHE LOOKS AT ME LIKE AN ALIEN
BEING.
>> PEANUT ALLERGIES?
>> IT IS BIZARRE.
I AM LIVING IN THE EISENHOWER
ERA IN 2012.
2014, WOW.
>> WHATEVER YEAR.
>> YOU SAID THE BABY BOOMERS
USED UP ALL OF THE WEIRD.
>> WE DID.
WE DID TO THAT.
WE DO DOH TAT.
IT IS A SHAME FOR YOU YOUNGER
KIDS.
IT IS THE DUTY OF EVERY
GENERATION TO SHOCK ITS
ELDERS. THE ROMAN EMPIRE WAS
WEARING THEIR TOE GOES TOO
SHORT OR WHATEVER.
WHEN THE PEOPLE WHO CAME IN,
GENERATION X AND ALL OF THE
GENERATIONS THAT CAME AFTER
THE BABY BOOM, WHEN IT WAS
THEIR TURN TO SHOCK THEIR
PARENTS AND BE WEIRD AND BE
DIFFERENT, THERE WASN'T
ANYTHING DIFFERENT LEFT TO
DO.
ALL OF THE WEIRDNESS HAD BEEN
USED UP.
WEIRD BEARDS, WE GREW THEM.
WEIRD WORDS, WE SAID THEM.
WEIRD THOUGHTS, WE
WEIRD HAIR, WE WORE THEM.
THEY HAD TO GET PIERCED AND
GET NECK TATTOO TO SHOCK THE
OLD FOLKS.
THAT MUST HAVE HURT AND I
APOLOGIZE.
>> I JOINED THE ARMY.
>> WHOA, DUDE.
>> THAT'S WHAT YOU HAD TO DO
TO SHOCK YOUR PARENTS.
>> THAT'S TAKING IT A LITTLE
TOO FAR.
YOU HAVE GONE AROUND THE BEND
THERE.
>> I HAVE TO ASK YOU ABOUT --
THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU DID
THAT AFFECTED MY LIFE.
THAT WAS REPUBLICAN PARTY
REPTILE WHICH WAS PUBLISHED IN
1987.
I THINK IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
I HEARD THE IDEA THAT WHAT IS
NORMALLY STODGY CAN BE FUN.
YOU ARE ALWAYS OPERATING UNDER
THE ASSUMPTION THAT BEING A
REPUBLICAN OR NOT BEING A
LIBERAL WAS BEING AWFUL.
ARE YOU TIRED OF PEOPLE LIKE
ME WHO TELL YOU THAT?
>> NO ONE GETS TIRED OF
PRAISE.
BACK IN THE 80s I WAS FACING
UP TO THE FACT THAT IF YOU
TOLD A GIRL YOU WERE A
REPUBLICAN SHE WOULD START
LOOKING THROUGH THE SOCK
DRAWER FOR SOMETHING TO STUFF
INTO THE RUBBER.
SHE HAD YOUR NUMBER.
OH THIS IS GOING TO BE A FUN
NIGHT.
THE ORIGINAL CONCEPT -- IT WAS
JOHN HUGHES, "THE MOVIE MAKER
AND I."
THE MOVIE MAKER AND I.
WE CAME DOWN WITH PANTS DOWN
REPUBLICANS.
WE ARE REFUSING TO BUS OUR
CHILDREN ANYWHERE OTHER THAN
YALE.
THE IDEA THAT YOU COULDN'T
HAVE FUN, THAT YOU COULD --
YOU HAD TO BE LIBERAL TO HAVE
FUN IS SOMETHING I WORKED MY
WHOLE LIFE TO DESTROY.
ALL IT HAS DONE IS WRECK MY
HEALTH.
>> I AM GOING TO TAKE A BREAK,
BUT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU MORE
ABOUT YOUR HISTORY WITH
NATIONAL LAMPOON.
THE NAME OF THE BOOK IS "BABY
BOOM."
GO AND BUY IT.
DO YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON THE
SHOW 1234* E-MAIL US.
>> IT IS SO BUTCH BETTER THAN
"HUNGRY, HUNGRY CATERPILLAR."
>> AND KIDS CAN READ IT TOO.
GATHER THEM AROUND THE FIRE.
WHAT FIRE?
THERE IS NO FIRE IN PEOPLE'S
HOUSES.
DO NOT LIGHT A FIRE.
THERE IS NO ARSON HERE.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
COMING UP, WE WILL TALK MORE
WITH PJ ABOUT ALL SORTS OF
STUFF OF THE STICK AROUND.
>>> YOU CAN SEE ANDY LEVY ON
WEDNESDAY AT 9:00 P.M. EASTERN
ON THE FOX BUSINESS NETWORK.
COMING UP TOMORROW ON "RED
EYE" JESSE JOYCE.
PJ, YOUR FIRST JOB WAS -- WAS
IT BASICALLY AT NATIONAL
LAMPOON'S?
>> YES, AND YOU GOT TO BE
FUNNY ALL DAY.
IN FACT, YOU HAD TO BE FUNNY
ALL DAY.
IT WAS THE WEIRDEST PLACE TO
WORK.
NORMALLY WORK SUCKS.
GOING TO THE OFFICE IS FUN
BECAUSE YOU CAN GO AND HAVE
FUN AND HAVE THE OFFICE
FLIRTATIONS AND THE DRINKS
AFTERWARDS.
NATIONAL LAMPOON'S WAS FUN.
YOU MAKE FUN OF EVERYTHING.
GOING TO THE OFFICE -- HAVING
LIKE 30 HUMOROUS IN ONE PLACE
IS LIKE A SACK FULL OF CATS.
IT IS AWFUL.
EVYBERODY IS CONSTANTLY
SPITING AND CLAWING AT EACH
OTHER.
>> I HAVE TO SAY IT WAS WHAT
YOU DID AFTER "MAD MAGAZINE."
YOU STARTED WITH "MAD" WHICH
WAS A GREAT WORLD.
THERE WAS NATIONAL LAMPOON
OVER HERE THAT SCARED YOU.
>> IT WAS UP HIGHER.
>> COOPERATE REACH IT.
>> IT FRIGHTENED YOU.
THE GREAT THING WERE THE
ILLUSTRATION EDS --
ILLUSTRATIONS IT WAS NORMAN
ROCKWELL, BUT EVIL.
THE GIRL WAS HOT.
I AM 10 OR 9 AND LOOKING AT
THIS AND GOING THERE IS
SOMETHING THERE THAT I HAVE TO
GET.
AND THEN MY MOM DID IT WHEN I
WAS HOMESICK.
THEY WERE OUT OF "MAD" AND
BOUGHT NATIONAL LAMPOON.
THE FIRST TIME I SAW ***.
>> WE WERE ALWAYS CAREFUL.
>> YOU DID PHOTO FUNNIES.
>> THEY ALL INVARIABLY
INVOLVED NAKED GIRLS.
WE DIDN'T KNOW ANY THOUGH. WE
FOUND THERE WERE THESE MODEL
AGENCIES WHO CAN COME AND GET
NAKED.
THAT'S AS CLOSE AS ANY OF US
GOT.
IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE
FUN.
WE CAN'T TAKE THE -- THE REAL
CREDIT GOES TO "MAD
MAGAZINE."
"MAD MAGAZINE" TAUGHT A LESSON
WE ALL KNEW BY THE TIME
NATIONAL LAMPOON CAME ALONG
WAS THAT GROWN-UPS LIE.
WHEN THEY ADVERTISE THINGS
SOMETIMES THEY ARE FIBBING?
IT REALLY ISN'T THE BEST
COFFEE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD?
WE DIDN'T MAKE THAT MAJOR
BREAKTHROUGH.
THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THE
LAMPOON AND IT CULMINATED IN
ANIMAL HOUSE.
YOU KNOW, "ANIMAL HOUSE" WAS
WHEN THE BABY BOOM TOOK OVER.
THAT CAME OUT OF THE NATIONAL
LAMPOON STORIES THAT WERE
PUBLISHED IN THE NATIONAL
LAMPOON.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT IS
WHEN THE BABY BOOM TOOK OVER
AND WHEN WE BEGAN TO RULE THE
WORLD, GO TO WASHINGTON AND
SEE HOW MANY SENATOR
BLUTARSKIS THERE ARE.
THERE ARE A HUNDRED.
>> THE END OF ANIMAL HOUSE
PREDICTS EXACTLY WHERE WE
ARE.
>> YES AT THE END CREDITS
THERE IS A PICTURE OF JOHN
BOUGH LIEU SHE AS SENATOR
BLUTARSKI.
>> THAT WHOLE ERA AND A FEW
YEARS LATER WAS NATIONAL
LAMPOON'S STAMP ALL OVER THE
PLACE.
THE MAGAZINES, THE BOOKS AND
THE MOVIES AND THE TV ALL HAD
THE NATIONAL LAMPOON FLAVOR.
>> A BUNCH OF WRITERS THAT
WENT OVER TO "SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE" LIKE PHIL DONOHUE.
>> WHO CREATED MR. BILL.
>> WHO CREATED MR. BILL.
HE IS DEAD TOO.
>> KINNEY PASSED AWAY JIE.
YES, BACK IN 1980.
>> THAT'S A BUMMER.
ANYWAY IT WAS A PLEASURE
HAVING YOU ON THE SHOW.
>> IT WAS A DELIGHT TO BE
HERE.
>> YOU WERE MY INSPIRATION
GROWING UP.
THAT SOUNDS BAD.
>> IT WAS BAD.
BUT LOOK HOW IT TURNED OUT.
YOU OBVIOUSLY PLAYED WITH
BARBIE AND NOT MRS. POTATO
HEAD.
>> THAT DOES IT FOR ME.