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I love going to the Australian pubs. I know I can go in, and I can get a big, cold beer.
Yeah. You can do that anywhere.
No, I, I don’t think so. It’s really important to know what you’re getting into when you
walk into a particular bar or pub. For example, some bars don’t sell cold beer.
I mean it should be cold but it’s not really cold.
Oh, you’re talking about, like, freezing almost.
Yes. Ah, OK.
And a lot of bars, if you walk in and you just say, “I’ll have a beer!” Maybe,
maybe they, they don’t just serve the person who walked in the door last. There, there
could be an order, an unspoken order. In fact, some of the best bars have unspoken orders.
Yeah. Unspoken rules. I mean, what about shouting? I mean, for me it’s quite normal if I go
to the pub with my friends, I’ll buy the first round of drinks. And then someone else
will buy the second round, and someone else will buy the third round, and hopefully there’s
not a fourth round because that might be too much. But, I’m quite used to that. But other
places you go to, it doesn’t work that way. Of course. Some people don’t do that.
It doesn’t work that way here. It depends on the crowd that you go in with
I guess, and, of course, the bar. But there are certain places where, actually, I’d
say it’s most places, if you were to snap or whistle at the bartender, . . .
Oh, yeah. . . . you’re asking for trouble.
You’ll never get served. In some bars here, it doesn’t matter what
you do. They’re, they’re like permanently bitter. They’re very cynical people. I don’t
think that’s. . . Yeah. And then, when you respond in kind,
you find that they might warm up to you a little bit.
Really? So. . . I spent the first few months here trying to
be everybody’s friend. “Oh, thank you very much! Hi, yeah! I’d love a beer!”
It’s, you know, you’ve got to use the “give me.”
Wow, what, really? OK, I have to try that. So you have to mistreat them, and if you do
that, . . . Well no, not mistreatment, but don’t waste
time on pleasantries. If you’re there for a beer, ask for the beer.
Just, “give me a beer.” That’s it. Yeah, that’s it. And that’s the way that
certain places work. Other places, you say, you go in and they say, . . . “How’s your
day?” or, “What’ll it be, sweetheart?” And you say, “Ah, you know? I think today
I feel like this.” Some bartenders don’t care what you feel like. They just want to
know what you’re thirsty for. Yeah, it’s true. There’s this stereotype
of bartenders being a shoulder to cry on, you know? The depressed, sad people go in
and, you know, they’re drowning their sorrows in a, in a, in a drink and the bartender has
to listen to all their worries and all their troubles with their love life.
While they polish glasses or rub their hands in a towel.
Exactly. How many movies have you seen, have you seen that character in?
Yeah, well, if they, you just serve with a smile and a direct look, instead of ignoring
people, like they do sometimes. I’ve got a bar that’s more than a smile.
You walk in and the guy kind of shouts something incomprehensible, turns around with a glass,
and dips his arm into a cauldron and comes out with steaming broth. And gives you that
next to your beer, and takes one for himself. And you have to take a shot of the broth in
which snails are fried, and things like this. Oh! That sounds delicious.
It’s . . . That sounds like torture.
It, at first, it was. But you realize later on it’s fortification. And the man’s got
quite a few years under his belt. I attribute it to the broth.
Broth and beer. Broth and beer.
OK. I’ve never heard of that before. I should, they, I think that might be the
name of the bar. OK.