Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
>> Tommy's such a good boy.
Kind. Attentive.
I couldn't ask for a better child.
And he's at that age where he's starting to be really curious
about everything going on around him.
In fact, he's like a little sponge.
What's that mommy?
How's this work mommy?
It's really exciting.
Except for one little thing.
>> What's this mommy?
>> That? That's a thingamajig.
You know, a jiggerwhatsit.
>> It's probably just a phase he's going through,
but he doesn't seem to be able to follow directions very well.
It's like he sometimes can't comprehend what I'm saying
to him.
>> Look.
>> Oh that's great honey.
Very cool.
But don't forget, when you're all done here you need
to put all these little doodads away back in your whatsamajig.
>> Oh I don't know, it just feels
like we're speaking different lanauges.
I mean I get that he's only 3
but he just doesn't understand what I'm asking him to do.
Do you know what I mean?
Okay now I'd like you to take those pullovers
and your little boxers and put them in the same drawer
as your dungarees just next to your Bermudas.
And then you can start on your pj's and your other skivvies.
Oh and put your sandals and flipflops away as well.
It just gets me a little frustrated is all.
I mean I talk to people every day, I should be able
to communicate with a 3 year old.
I mean how hard could it be?
>> [Music] I think often we have expectations
that are not appropriate for the abilities of our young children.
And we speak and expect that, okay we told them
to go get the blue sneaker out of the closet and put it
in your toy bin and we give these multiple commands.
And that's assuming many things, that they know their colors.
That they know, you know, the articles of clothing.
That they can follow multiple steps.
That their attention span is long enough
to really understand multiple step commands.
So it's really assuming a lot versus keeping our directions
or our instructions short and brief and at their level.
I just want my son to listen to me.
I want to know that he understands what I say
and feels good about accomplishing the things
that I tell him to do.
And I want to make sure that I'm not confusing him.
Tommy, please pick up your books and put them back
where you got them on the shelves over there.
>> A part of making sure that the kids understand
and have heard you is making sure
that when it's possible you have their eye contact.
If you can get down on their level
and speak clearly using their language,
that way you really can maximize the likelihood
that they heard you and understand what you're saying.
>> Good try, but you know what, your books go on the shelf
with your other books.
Do you understand?
[music]
>> And then if they're doing it, praising that they did it.
That way they learn that when mommy gives an instruction
and I do it, I'm going to get positive attention.
Thank you Tommy.
You did a very good job putting away all your books.
Well, things are getting better.
He's following my directions more often,
especially when I make sure that he understands what I say.
So now, being clear in my communication is my new focus.
Clear communication.
Like crystal.
Like lake at sunset.
At twilight.
Clear. Period.
>> [beep] Take five, thanks everybody.
>> That's great guys.
Thank you.
So should I take the thingamajig off or do you need
to do that whatsit first?
The widget thing, the contraption you use, you know?
Cut! [laughing] Why are you laughing?
[music]