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Fire: it can symbolize a horrific event in a person's life.
For me, fire caused me much pain and suffering for many years.
I remember the fire and I remember me
running back into the house instead of running outside.
I remember my Mom covering me and my sister up and telling me
to hide behind her and everything.
I remember my Dad saving me, but I also remember, like,
my sister-- she was in so much pain,
she was rolling down cement and she was crying.
It hurt so much.
I remember-- my last memory of my Mom was in the ambulance,
when they were driving us to the hospital.
And I was so tired that I turned around.
And I never saw her again.
After years of suffering, I came to see the deeper meaning of fire.
Now looking back, I look at fire as a rebirth.
When I started going to burn camp my whole life changed, basically.
Because from there I found other people that relate to me
and I felt really like someone accepted me.
And this is my chance to change who I was.
Because in middle school, I was the girl that
you could make fun of me.
You can just point me out and make fun of me.
And all I would do was just cry.
But after the camp, I learned to gain some strength.
I have learned to look beyond my physical appearance and love myself.
Honestly, to forgive all those years of pain, all those evil
stares from my classmates, and all those negative
insults were hard, but in the end I forgave them all.
I told myself, if people don't accept me for who I am because
my scars are basically my identity right now. My identity.
And if they don't like me for that,
then I don't need them really in my life.
My skin looks different than everyone.
But, I feel the same thing, I experience the same thing.
I want good friendships, I want to live a full life.
It's hard because in high school there's
"Oh, you've gotta be skinny like this, you gotta be perfect skin-- no pimples and everything."
I don't want people to look at me,
and "Oh, she stands out in a negative way."
I want them to look at me and look at my smile,
and see that I survived and want to be treated with respect
just like anyone else.
The person I would thank most is my Dad.
Like-- I don't know how he reached out to people.
I have no idea how we survived all these years and he worked,
labored every day, for us to live, and for us to go to school.
As I grow older, I have done many soul searching.
While there is a part of me that's still hurting, it is not from the fire.
I'm hurt but by the fact that I didn't forgive myself and others earlier.
I think the worst pain comes from me.
So, I want to use my story as a way for other people to say
"Hey! She went to college, she was a burn survivor, she wore short sleeves, she went to prom."
"Why can't I do that?"
But now I have learned to forgive completely,
I'm ready to move on to my next journey in life.