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My name is Sergeant Joe Fink. I'm working a 24 hour shift out of homicide.
And this is my workshop. The part of town that everybody
knows about but that nobody wants to see.
Where the tragedies are deeper, the ecstasies wilder, and the
crime rate consistently higher than anywhere else.
Skid row. My beat.
The most terrifying period in the history of my beat
began in a little run down floral shop called Mushnick's.
Ah good morning Mrs Shiva how are things today?
Ah the same as usual Mr Mushnick. My sisters nephew
Stanley died in Little Rock Arkansas.
- Oh What happened? - He got blown up, who knows how.
That's nice.
Well you would like maybe as usual some flowers for the funeral.
(In the distance) ♪ ♪ Should all acquaintance be forgot,
♪ ♪and never brought to mind.
I thought possibly because I always give you all my funeral
business maybe you should possibly give to me a little cut rate.
Look at me Mrs Shiva. What am I philanthropist?
I sell on Skid Row nothing but cheap carnations, and I should give you a cut rate.
I can't even afford water for the flowers. To my throat I would be giving a cut.
♪ ♪ - I dream't I dwelled in marble halls with vassals... - Shut up from the back!
Excuse me Mrs Shiva that Seymour...
- He's a nice boy. - Why don't you let him sing?
What sing. Look I here I got a new customer. Brand new in the yellow vest.
I should let the cleanup boy but I can't even afford chase him out right away.
(Phone rings)
Flowers fresh as the springtime Mushnick's hello.
Oh hello Dr Farb. What can I do for you today?
Listen Mushnick I haven't got much time. Send me over two Gladiolas and a fern.
Excellent that's two dozen glads and one potted fern.
No, no, no Mushnick. Two gladiolas and one fern.
- Ah! - You want I should put two
gladiolas in the pot with the ferns.
No one fern. One piece all together. Three pieces. I need it for my waiting room.
- Filling fell out. - What? - A filling fell out.
- Good I'll drill a bigger hole. - You mean you want 2 crummy gladiolas and one crummy fern?
- What kind of decoration is that? - Listen it's my flower budget for the week Mushnick.
Who could be a dentist on skid row.
- Alright excellent I'll send Seymour right away. Who am I to argue with science.
Make it snappy. Now you are going to get it. Oh you are going to get it.
- Look. - Ah!
Seymour Krelboyne. Now Mrs Shiva we were talking for the funeral flowers.
What the little....
(Crash) - Did you call me Mr Mushnick? - No.
I was calling John D Rockefeller for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce.
- Sorry I said it. - Now look Seymour.
You take 2 gladiolas. You cut them nice and even.
You take one fern, you'll wrap them in a package and you'll take them to Dr Farb right?
Now go already!
- Now what can I do for you sir? - My name is Burson Fouch.
- Excellent I am Gravis Mushnick. - Oh that's a good one.
Now who's going to get my roses?
I'll take care of you Mrs Shiva come right over here.
You would like maybe some orchids for a nice girl?
- No I think I would like a couple dozen carnations. - Carnations.
A person shouldn't run around these days or somebody should drop dead.
You've had more than your share of bad luck Mrs Shiva.
Bad luck she's call it. You should have so many people kicked off.
You would have someone fall on top of you too.
- What about the carnations? - You said you wanted some roses.
Yes for Stanley.
My carnations.
You should see what that Seymour is.... Oh here are your carnations.
- Wait I'll wrap them for you. - Oh that's alright I'll eat them here.
Why not.
Of course what else.
- They are alright? - Well I've had better. - Well this is a small shop.
That's OK. You know those big places they're full of pretty flowers, expensive flowers.
But when you raise them for looks and smell your bound to loose some food value.
- I like to eat at these little out of the way places. - Ah such a thing eating flowers.
Look don't knock it until you try it huh.
- Look what happened. - This is what I was trying to tell you before.
Look on him everybody. Look at the quality of his work. I ask you when I fire him?
- Where is he going to get such another good job? - You mean I'm fired?
No I'm electing you president of the United States. Yes you are fired!
- Gravis you can't to that. - Who, who can't?
- I didn't mean it. - You didn't mean it. You never mean it.
You didn't mean it the time you put up the bouquet with the get well card in the funeral parlor!
And send the black lilies to the old lady in the hospital, you didn't mean it!
But this time I Gravis Mushnick mean it!
He means it.
But Gee Mr Mushnick don't I always try to do what's right.
And I'm crazy about flowers. I like flowers almost as much as Audrey does.
- Excellent you're fired. - Why don't you give him a chance to resurrect himself.
- I give him a chance to quit. - I ain't going to quit.
You're a brave boy. You're fired.
But that ain't fair Mr Mushnick. You know what I'm doing?
I'm working on a special surprise plant just for you.
I'm growing a plant like you ain't never seen before.
Excellent I can't even sell the plants I got in my shop, out you!
Now wait a minute. He's got a new kind of plant you outta look at.
I don't look at flowers Mr yellow vest.
I got ancestors in the flower business for 200 years,
but I got one shop on skid row one stinking shop. I don't even like flowers!
No you don't understand what I mean. Look I've eaten in flower shops all over the world.
And I've noticed that the places that have the most weird
and unusual plants do the best business.
- See. - See. - See.
What is this a tango?
Alright explain me more.
Well I remember one place that had a whole wall covered with poison ivy.
- The people came from miles around to look at that wall and they s. - The owner got rich?
No he scratched himself to death in an insane asylum.
Oh that was my cousin Harry.
Alright, alright.
You go home and you get this fancy smancy plant and you bring it back here.
And Mr yellow vest Fouch says it's a thrill you still got a job.
- If he don't out you go right.
- Don't worry you'll like it, you'll see.
This is radio KSIK.
You've been listening to music for old invalids.
Our next selection is entitled Sickroom Serenade.
- Seymour is that you? - Yeah Ma.
Come in here and look at my tongue.
But Ma I already seen your tongue.
Have you no sympathy for your poor mother.
Laughing at her, mocking her illness and she's got one foot in the grave.
- Ah I didn't mean it. - Oh you never mean it. Come on look at my tongue.
A tongues a tongue Ma they all look the same to me.
Did you stop at Dr Mallard's and get the results of my test.
Yeah he said there is nothing wrong with you.
Oh not Dr Mallard he's one Dr I thought would tell the truth.
- He said you should be playing fullback for the Rams. - He wants me dead.
- I'll bet he's assistant coroner. - Ma I gotta...
And I know my goiter is coming back. I can feel it every morning after breakfast.
Yeah that's when you take those great Ah!
- What you got a little surprise for me? - Open it up and see.
Alright.
Ah ha ha. Dr Slurps Saddles famous tonic.
Wait here. To be taken internally or externally
for pain and arthritis, nausea, headache.
If hit by a truck call your physician. Alcoholic content 98 percent. Ha ha!
Oh Seymour you never know what this is going to do for me.
Oh I can feel that surge of warm health going threw me already.
Look Ma I got to get my plant and hurry back to the shop.
You mean that lousy weed out in the kitchen?
Yeah. If Mr Mushnick doesn't like it he's going to fire me.
Apparently my hearing is going out on me.
I get the distinct impression that your job security depends
on what Mushnick thinks of that thing.
Gee it looks worse then it did this morning when I went to work.
I wish I knew what to do with it.
Well if you ask me I'd pitch it out in the trash.
I don't like my house cluttered up with rotten vegetables.
- Look Ma I gotta hurry, can I bring you anything? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..
bring me the evening news they are running a self diagnosis contest.
- The winner gets to go to Mayo clinic. - Bye Ma.
Bye son I'll see ya a rosy at ya door.
♪ ♪Drink to me oh. Be way at thy eyes. And I...
Here put this on my bill.
- Well here it is everybody. What do you think of it? - Well it sure is different.
It looks delicious but don't you think it's kinda stale.
It hasn't been feeling to well.
You call that a fancy plant? It looks like it never spent a healthy day in it's entire life.
- I don't care. I like it anyway. - You, you like eating skunk cabbage.
Yeah. What kind of plant is this Seymour?
Well I'm not sure. I got the seeds from a Japanese gardener over on Central avenue.
He found them in with an order he got from a plantation next to a cranberry farm.
- Fine, fine. You don't even know what this, this plant you're grow. - Well I gave it a name.
- What name? - Ah Gee.
- What you gave it a dirty name you can't even mention it?
- Well I named it Audrey Jr. - Ah you named it after me?
- Oh really? That's the most exciting thing anyone has ever done to. - Poor kid.
I don't think it's so much I should keep on spending $10 a week on your salary.
- But Gravis he named it after me. - I know and if they keep it they'll name it Mushnick's folly
because I'll be in jail for non payment of taxes. - Are you crazy? - Who, who?
You, you. That's probably the only plant of it's kind in the world.
Don't you realize that if Seymour can nurse that thing
back to health you'll have people coming here from all over.
- You think so you Fouch? - I know so you Mushnick.
Now that's all I'm saying on the subject.
Besides I got to get home. My wife is making gardenias for dinner.
- Goodnight you Fouch. - Goodnight. And I'll see ya tomorrow.
- Crazy about kosher flowers. - He's a nice man.
Maybe he knows what he is taking about. Maybe he's not so stupid.
I'll tell you what I do. I'll keep you and this dumbbell Jr for a week.
If you could nurse it back to health you both can stay. If you can't you're both fired.
Oh gee thank you Mr Mushnick.
Don't feel sad Seymour.
Don't waste your pity on me Audrey I'm not worth it.
- Who says you're not? - Everybody.
Yeah I know. I think your a fine figurative of a man.
And I know that Audrey Jr will be the sweetest thing in the whole wide world.
Well I don't know. I've given it every can of fancy fertilizer and atomic plant
food and distilled mineral water you can buy.
- But it just gets sicker and sicker. - Don't worry you're going to be another Luther Glendale.
- Pasadena. - Burbank.
- Goodnight Seymour. - Goodnight Audrey.
What's the matter little plant. Haven't I done everything I could for you?
Where did I goof?
You're the first little plant I've ever tried to grow and if
you die I don't know what I'll do. Please don't die.
I'll get you some water OK.
Oh gee you opened up just like you do every night at sunset.
I wish I knew how to make you grow.
Here let me move this out of your way so you can breath. Ow!
Hey what happened?
How come you woke up? Blood?
You like Blood?
Oh you must be kidding. Well we'll see.
You don't know what I'm doing for you.
Ow!
Oh who would have thought it. Well I guess there is just no accounting for peoples tastes.
- Seymour! - My boy.
You are the most magnanimous person in the whole world.
Look on him Audrey. Isn't he beautiful, isn't he delicious. Isn't he got a $2 raise.
- What happened to your fingers? - Bee stings. So how come I'm all of a sudden so wonderful?
- 5 bees one for each finger. - 10 bees. You said I was getting a $2 raise?
Correct my very excellent Seymour. 10 bees.
- Oh what did I do now? - Don't you know what you did?
- Just look. - Oh boy look at that. It grew.
- It's almost a foot long. - Isn't it empirical?
It grows like a cold sore from the lip.
Oh hello young pretty ladies what can Gravis Mushnick do for you?
- Well we saw your sign outside. - About the Audrey Jr.
So we thought we would come in and take a look.
Well give a look.
That makes people today who've come in just to look at it.
- Oh dig Shirley. - Is that just too much.
- Oh what kind of plant is it. - It's an Audrey Jr.
- Where was it that you got in trouble with 10 bees? - Well is that all.
I mean doesn't it have a scientific name?
Yes of course but who could denounce it. You would like maybe to buy something?
- Well we don't have any money. - Except $2000.
But that's just to spend on flowers.
- So we don't have any of our own. - Isn't that a drag?
- You got $2000 just for to spend on flowers? - Um huh. - That's right.
- Who died the chamber of commerce. - Well we're from Cucamunga High School.
- And we're building a float. - For the rose bowl parade. - Which is made out of flowers.
- 1000's of them. - And we're on the committee. - That picks the florist.
And then glues on the flowers.
- Gee that sure is a mad plant. - Wow yeah.
- Seymour here invented it. - He did?
Thousands of flowers. Girls, girls, girls.
Please don't damage the horticulturist.
Tell me how come you don't buy all these thousands of flowers from Gravis Mushnick?
- My flowers got something the others don't. - What's that? - They're cheap.
Well gee is your shop is good enough to develop the Audrey Jr.
- I guess it can get us everything we need. - Yeah we'll talk it over with the rest of the committee.
- Excellent. - We got to run now, bye all. - Bye Seymour.
-Bye. - Bye girls.
A son, a son. Look Audrey I got a son.
Aw gee Mr Mushnick.
What Mr Mushnick. I don't want you to call me Mr Mushnick anymore.
- I want you should call me dad. - OK dad. - Isn't that beautiful.
Seymour Krelboyne come over here my son. I want to talk on you about the future.
Look on this flytrap. Look at it. Soon we got no more skid row.
We will be rich, us. I am building for you a giant
greenhouse in which you are making impossible flowers.
Which in turn I am selling at ridiculous prices in my giant
new flower saloon in Beverly Hills.
Do you see that big sign in the sky? It is saying Gravis Mushnick in French.
Isn't it exciting. And well have and orchestra right in front of the cash register.
And Gravis will waive his arms and the orchestra will play spring songs.
And I'll come out in a gown wrapped by someone expensive and say..
- The carnation are $600 a dozen. 2 dozen for $1000! - It's a bargain.
Get them why they last.
Stop shouting. My Uncle Mush's brother's uncle
just passed away trying to fly New Jersey.
- Tell me how much are the carnations today? - The carnation are $600 a doz....
- Why are they letting him run around loose? - Please, please excuse my son Mrs Shiva.
- Just for entering in the store it is yours. - You man that... - That's right.
- The cash register maybe? - Ah. Wait a minute. Here are several dozen carnations,
on the house courtesy of Gravis Mushnick Doubloon tycoon.
- That's my dad. - Thanks. Thanks very much.
Only tell me why are you so happy?
Not only did my Uncle Mush's brother uncle die entering New Jersey...
You should also give some flowers to that poor dead plant there. Good morning Mr Mushnick.
- Good morning Mrs Shiva. - Look what happened to my plant dad.
Who you calling dad? Who, who?
Oh look and it was so beautiful just a few seconds ago.
Excellent just a few seconds ago I gave away dozens of carnations free to Mrs Shiva!
- I didn't mean it. - You have perhaps an explanation.
- No but if you give me a minute I'll think of one. - I can see it all now we are in the poor house.
That big sign in the sky is reading Seymour Krelboyne rest in piece.
- In Arabic. - Oh you got to give him another chance.
You promised me a week Mr Mushnick.
I'll sit up all night with that plant.
It will be healthy in the morning. You'll see, I promise.
I promise.
Feed me.
Feed me. Feed me!
Who said that? You said that.
- You said that! - Um feed me.
You said that. You can talk. I got a talking plant.
- Say it again. - Feed me.
Oh boy I never been to college and I ain't been around much
but I would be willing to bet there ain't no such thing as a talking plant.
- But I'll take your word for it. Gee Jr I'd like to feed you but I. - Feed me!
Look at me I'm all cut to pieces. But maybe I can find another drop here someplace.
- That's the best I can do. - More, more!
- But I'm already anemic. - Feed me more!
Gee Jr I'd be happy to give you anything I got but I got to keep a little blood for myself,
-Or I'll be on worse shape or Ma. - Um.
I'm sorry Jr. Well I'll go for a walk and maybe I'll think of something.
Ah!
(Train horn) - Ah.
Ahh!
Oh my god.
Daddy there's somebody out there.
Feed me. Feed me.
Look chow hound don't bother me I've got problems of my own.
- Feed me. - I'm sorry pal I'm fresh out of blood. Talk to somebody else.
- I'm hungry. - I don't care what you are. Can't you see I'm knocked out.
I just killed a man. I'm a murderer.
- You think it's fun to be a murderer. You think you it's fun to ha. - Food.
Oh no Jr. What kind of guy do you think I am.
- I'm starved. - Well.
Maybe just a snack.
Um that looks great.
- (Laughs) - Now that is what I call a salad.
- What do you call that salad? - Cesarean.
Well before the next course I think I'll have a nice cigar alright.
- You would like maybe a cigar. - (Laughs)
Ah you don't smoke cigars what am I thinking about. Where are the matches?
Oh, oh. You know what I found?
What?
I'm looking for the matches and I found I left the money in the other suit.
- Here's your mock chicken legs. - You don't have any money?
- So what else is new? - Alright, alright.
- I made a mistake. After all a man is entitled. - Go on this is your story. I'll wait for the punch.
Don't get smart with me girly. I'll have you know that in my
shop in the cash register I am having the total days receipts.
Which is summing up to more than $9.
You'll bring the rest of the food and I'll go to the shop and get the money!
You're playing my favorite song.
Now look here buster, one of you is going to go down right now and get the loot.
While the other one stays here until the first one gets back.
If you get what I mean.
Oh fine in this fancy smancy restaurant you are holding hostages right?
- Right. - Excellent.
You eat up Audrey. I'll be back in a flash with the cash.
Bye Gravis.
♪ ♪ Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la, la la la la.
♪ ♪It's the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la, la la la la.
- You're flush now right? - Bring me whiskey, rum, wine, gin, bourbon.
- What? - Scotch, rye, tequila, saki, manischewitz.
- Did you bring the money? - Don't bug me with the money I got to get drunk now.
- What's with him. - I don't know.
Look here take it. Bring me anything, bring me everything.
Creme de mint, everything you got.
- OK. - Gravis what happened?
- Don't ask. - You look like you've seen a ghost.
- Ghosts I could handle, don't ask. - Why don't you tell me? Maybe I can help you.
- Help you couldn't. - Try and eat something it will calm your aggravation.
Oh in my own shop. Audrey you wouldn't believe it.
I wish you would break out and tell me.
Alright I'll tell you tomorrow. Right after I am telling the police.
But Mushnick didn't come to the police.
If he had that might have been the finish of the unhappy story. It was not.
Hi Gravis. $85 worth of business already and we've barely opened.
What did I tell ya. You wouldn't be interested in
selling a half interested in this place huh?
- Mr Mushnick. - We talked to the committee.
And they said we could use your flowers.
- On the float. - Guess what?
We're going to feature Audrey Jr.
- Right on top. - Can't you just picture it. - I can picture it.
- Oh won't the people just eat it up. - Eat up the people.
- And we are going to have the big part of it open. - So she can sit in it.
- Who. - The Queen. - With her crown and scepter.
- She'll be so cute. - Oh you can just eat her up.
- Eat up the girl. - Oh there's Seymour Ah.
Oh oh no I got a toothache. Oh I got a toothache.
- You. Come here. - Ow my jaw I got a toothache it hurts. Let go of my jaw.
- Oh my jaw. Oh! - Now Seymour, talk on me.
I got a toothache. What do you want to talk about?
That plant is that a nice subject for to talk?
The plant is great. It's 4 times bigger than it was yesterday.
I saw. I saw. How come the plant is now so big?
I don't know. But look at all them people out there.
-We've only been open a half hour and we've already done $70 worth . - $85.
Now look Seymour. You gave this plant a fancy name Audrey Jr,
but I want to know right now what do just people call it?
Well it's a cross between a butterworth and a venus flytrap.
Venus flytrap. And what are the habits of this venus flytrap.
Well the books says it eats insects.
It eat them 3 times in it's life and then it's full grown.
Excellent. And how many times has this one eat?
- Well once or twice. - You don't remember.
- Well this is kind of an unusual type flytrap. - That is a possibility.
It may never eat again. I don't see how it could get any bigger.
- Then you think it don't need anymore flies? - Yeah.
Oh my tooth is just killing me.
Alright excellent. You run along to the dentist. I'll take care of things here.
- Thanks boss. - Gravis we got to order more flowers. Tons of them.
I'm making lots of money.
(Maniacal laughing)
That will teach you to keep your bill up to date you deadbeat.
Ah!
Go ahead and run you sniveling dog. I'm glad I hurt you. I'm glad.
- Seymour. You got a bad tooth huh? - No I thought this was the men's room.
Seymour come back here you bad dog you. Get in there.
So you are the young man who ruined my gladiolas huh?
Sit down. Come on.
- Guess what? Both: My tooth stopped hurting. -Yes I know.
Shut up and open up. Um huh.
Ah.
- Ah ah!. - Does that hurt? - Yeah.
- Good you haven't felt anything yet. - It's this one over here.
Seymour who is the dentist here? You or me? I'll find that tooth.
Look at that stalagmite. Don't worry it's going to be an easy one Seymour.
I won't even use novocaine.
- Ow you broke the mirror in my mouth. - Well don't tell me about it stupid just swallow it.
Alright yes lets see now Seymour.
See I'll have this one, and this one ,and that
one, and I have to have this one Seymour.
- It's only one tooth. - Seymour who is the dentist here you or me?
Are you practicing dentistry without a license. No.
Alright let's see. Ah oh *** Seymour.
Ow!
Look at that. Will you look at that Seymour. I don't know you were an elk.
You know I can't afford an assistant.
So I get this ready instant mix. It doesn't last very long but it taste good.
- Alright Seymour. - No stay away from me, you're trying to kill me.
A duel aha.
Ah!
- Is this Doctor Farb's office? - Just a minute.
Oh yes. I see it is.
You can come in now.
- My name is Wilbur Force. - Wilbur Force what?
Just Wilbur Force. My first name is Wilbur my last name is Force.
- I don't have a middle name. - Well do you have an appointment maybe?
No but you were highly recommended to me by one of your patients.
A Mrs S Shiva. I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.
Well as you can see I have a customer now and I'm all booked up
for the rest of the day so you will have to come back tomorrow.
Oh I couldn't do that. I have 3 or 4 abscesses, a touch of pyorrhea, 9 or 10 cavities.
- I lost my pivot tooth and I'm in terrible pain. - Oh well I can't help you today.
Oh that's alright I'll just wait outside.
The patient came to me with a large hole in his abdomen.
Caused by a fire poker used on him by his wife. He almost bled to death and gangrene set in.
I didn't give him much of a chance. There were other complications.
The man had cancer, tuberculous, leprosy and a touch of the grip.
- I decided to operate. - My patient just left you can come in now.
Oh goody.
- I didn't see the other man leave. - Well he went out the back door.
You know most people don't like to go to the dentist but I rather enjoy it myself.
Don't you?
I mean there is such a real feeling a growth. Of...progress when that old drill goes in.
- I mean I'd almost rather go to the dentist than anywhere. Wouldn'? - Yeah.
- Now no novocaine it dulls the senses. - This is going to hurt you more than it is me.
Oh goody goody here it comes. Ah!
(Maniacal laugh)
Oh my god don't stop now.
Well I made allot of holes and now I got to fill it up with this here silver stuff.
- Well aren't you going to pull any? - Well uh.
- Aw go on. - Well it's your mouth.
(Maniacal laugh)
Well Dr Farb it's been quite an afternoon.
I can truly say I've never enjoyed myself so much. I'll recommend you to all my friends.
- Thank you. Bye. - Bye now.
Feed me!
Aw take it easy Dracula what do you think I'm carrying here my dirty laundry.
- Food! - I'm coming. I'm coming already.
- This should be enough for anybody. - Mm food.
Well goodbye Dr Farb.
You may have been a crummy dentist but you were a nice fella.
I never meant to kill anybody in my whole life and I've killed 2 in the last 2 days.
Well he asked for it. Coming after me with that knife and all.
Bon voyage Dr Farb.
You want anything else? - (Burps)
See ya in the morning.
Come in.
- It's me Joe. - Come on in Frank. How's the wife Frank?
-Not bad Joe. - Glad to hear it. The kids? - Lost one yesterday.
- Lost one eh. How did that happen? - Playing with matches. - Well those are the breaks.
- Yeah I guess so. - Got a strange one here.
Railroad people said they lost one of their best detectives the other night.
- Oh yeah. - Down by the yards. He was watching the refrigerator cars.
- Refrigerator cars? - Ice thieves. - Oh yeah what happened?
- Don't know. Vanished, blood on tracks. - Clues?
- None. - Anything else? - Dentist, Farb.
- Dead? - Missing. - Clues?
- Blood in office. - Where? - Skid row.
- Ideas? - None. - Check it out?
Yeah.
Now we were on the case.
Officer Frank Stoolie and me. My name is Fink.
Sergeant Joe Fink. I'm a Fink.
Morning Mr Mushnick.
- Oh boy look at that. - Hi everybody.
- Oh my gosh. - Ain't it something?
- It's, it's monstrous. - Yeah.
- And to think that you did it. - Gee Audrey you don't have to kiss me.
- Don't you like me to kiss you? - Yeah but you don't like to kiss me.
- Why shouldn't I? - Nobody else ever did.
- Well I do like to. - You do? You really do? You like to kiss me?
- Sure I do. - Would you like to kiss me again?
OK.
That plant.
- Oh boy you kiss good Audrey. - I guess I just have a good kisser.
- How did it... - Would you like to go out on a date with me some night?
- When... - Oh sure I would Seymour. Anytime.
Tonight?
- OK. - Oh boy. - About that plant...
- We got the list. - Of flowers. - For the float.
- For the rose parade. - I can't talk to you now girls. Talk on Audrey.
- We got the list. - For the float. - OK let's take a look at it.
- OK. - Hi what's cooking? - Look at my plant.
- My what a large one. - Yeah.
(Sirens) - Hello Mrs Shiva what's new? - Oh I got terrible news.
- My nephew Frankie just lost his little boy. - Oh that's too bad.
- How did it happen? - He was playing with matches.
Would you like to buy maybe some flowers?
- About 50 cents worth. - Well I'll get them for ya. Look at my plant.
I'm looking.
- Your name Gravis Mushnick? - Mushnick Gravis, that's my name.
- We just want to ask you a few questions. - Questions, ask me.
Just want to ask you a few questions sir.
- I didn't do it. - Do what? - Whatever.
- Ever see this man. - Man see picture. - Why you so nervous?
- Got a guilty conscience? - No why should I? - Ever see this man?
Man I see the picture Dr Farb.
- So you know him? - My dentist. He maybe did something?
Disappeared.
- Blood in his office. - The other man too. Blood on the railroad tracks.
- Few spare parts. - Dr Farb is murdered? - Is he?
- Who knows not me. - What do you think? - He doesn't know anything.
- Ok Mushnick if you hear anything about these men call our office.
Sure I'll be glad to cooperate with the police.
- Hello Aunt Siddie. - Oh ain't it terrible what happen to your boy Frankie?
Those are the breaks.
Alright Seymour now you tell me if that plant is finished all grown up?
- He's finished all growing up. - You wouldn't kid your father. - My father came home?
Me idiot, it's a finger of speech! Now look, I can't stand anymore of that plant.
- It's growing me out of house and home. - Well it ain't going to grow anymore I promise.
- How can you be so sure. - It ate three times already.
Who.. I mean what did it eat this time?
- Well about a million Japanese beetles. - So it don't eat no more?
- It's full. - Gravis?
There's a lady from some kind of a committance outside. I think it's important.
Excellent. By the by, I understand you want to take
Audrey out on a date tonight. That is very good with me.
Because I am staying to keep an eye on that meshuggah plant.
- So where we going to go tonight Seymour?
- Oh I just remembered I don't have any money.
Well that's OK.
- We could take a walk along the ocean or something. - I got a great idea.
- We can eat dinner at my house my Mom's a great cook. - Oh that's swell.
Oh boy I'll call her later and tell her.
- Oh that's remarkable. - You like?
I neither like nor dislike anything my good...
I happen to represent The Society of Silent Flower
Observers of Southern California.
- How about that. - Tell me who created this magnificent bloom?
- I did, me. - And what might your name be. - Seymour Krelboyne with a K.
- Krelboyne? - Krelboyne. - Raised it in a coffee can.
- Well tell me Mr Krelboyne. Is this a freak or can more be raised . - We should live so long.
I don't think there are going to be anymore Mrs uh?
Fishtwanger. Mrs Hortense Fishtwanger.
- I think this is going to be the only one Mrs Fishswinger. - Fishtwanger.
- Fishtwanger. - Ah it's probably indigestible anyway.
Well at any rate. I have the honor to tell you Seymour
Krelboyne that you have been selected to receive the annual trophy
- of The Society of Silent Flower Observers of Southern California. - A Trophy me?
- Such is justice. - Tell me when do you suppose those large buds will open?
- Well according to what the book says about the plants I
crossed they should open day after tomorrow at sunset.
Ah very well then I shall return at that time to present the trophy. Good day.
Remarkable.
- Oh boy I'm going to get a trophy. - Oh Seymour I'm so proud of you.
- Oh a real trophy. - For Audrey Jr. - We can put it on the float.
- In the rose parade. - Oh boy.
Oh don't look at me I'm a terrible sight.
- I'm a complete sea hag. - She always says that.
Oh well it's true I haven't been feeling very well lately.
Audrey this is my Ma Winifred Krelboyne.
- Ma this is Audrey Fulquard she's my girl.
- Hi Audrey. Are you hungry? - I sure am I can eat a hearse.
Oh well sit right down and I'll go get the first course.
Sit here Audrey. You want me to take your sweater?
Yes.
Nevermind that. Well now try this.
(Coughs) - It taste like cough syrup. - Dr Flems Cough Syrup. A toast.
- To Audrey Jr. - No to Audrey Sr.
You. You glutton you. Tonight I keep an eye on you. I don't let nobody get near you.
Here comes the soup. Now don't touch it until I get the little flavor in it.
- Gee Audrey you sure look good by candle light. - Oh do I really Seymour? - Yeah.
Here you are. Now try it.
- It sure smells different. - It's different. - Some kind of oil isn't it?
- Cod liver oil. Wonderful for the colon. - And that's sulfur powder on the top.
(Creaking) Feed me.
Feed me. I'm hungry.
- Open it is. - Feed me.
- I didn't hear it. - Feed me. - I heard it.
- I want food. - A talking plant we got.
- I'm hungry. - No, hungry? And other fine kettle fin fish.
- Who would you like to have tonight? - You look fat enough.
We not only got a talking plant, we got one that makes with smart cracks.
Well you listen to me you botanical bum. Food you wouldn't get.
- Not from Gravis Mushnick. - I'm starved. - Excellent.
You would unpopulate the whole skid row. Well you can forget about it.
You wouldn't get fed from Gravis Mushnick tonight. Goodnight.
You'll get yours.
I kinda like this chow mein.
If it taste a little bitter it's because it's made of
Chinese herbs and it's flavored with achromycin, epsom salts.
There ain't another cook in the whole world like my Ma.
That's what your old man said before the louse ran out on me.
You know if you're going to be married you got to be a good cook.
- Well maybe you could teach me. - You thinking of getting married?
- Well he hasn't asked me yet. - Who hasn't? - Seymour.
Seymour is too young to get married.
Look here, a boys got to go out and play around a little bit.
Go out on the make and have a ball.
Gee Ma I don't want to have a ball I want to be with Audrey. - Oh Seymour...
Now look Seymour you promised you wouldn't get married until you bought me an iron lung.
- But you've been breathing for years Ma. - Well it ain't easy. It ain't easy son.
(Doorknob)
There's nobody here. Black cats, 13th job, Friday the 13th, stupid superstition.
(***)
Alright you come out of there.
Don't shoot Mr. I'm old and sick. I wouldn't hurt even a fly.
- Come out in the light where I can see you. - Please don't shoot. Please.
Please I'm only Gravis Mushnick.
You wouldn't want to kill me where would you hide the body.
Don't worry I'm not going to shoot you. Not unless you try something.
Try something. I never tried anything in my life.
I wouldn't try anything now. You want my money take it.
- You want I should go out and steal you some more. That's alright . - Thank you very much.
I like your brand of hospitality.
You'll excuse that there is not more, I'm only a poor florist.
Yeah yeah. You got about 30 bucks here. Come on now where's the rest of it?
I was in here this afternoon. I saw about 30,000 people in here.
They must have spent some money. Where is it?
There ain't no more money. They came in to look on the plant.
It's a big attraction, Audrey Jr.
The plant. Don't try to snow me Jim. 30,000 squares didn't come
in here just to look for a plant and I want it.
- I don't got no more money honest, believe me. - Ok lets try this 1,2,3,4
- I ain't got no more money honest. - Alright try it the other way around. 5,4,3,2
- Alright. Alright already. - OK big dad where? - In the plant.
- In the plant? - In the big plant Audrey Jr.
- Inside the big leaf? - That's right inside. - How do you get it open?
Just knock.
- In there? - In there.
- Inside in the bottom. - I don't see anything. - Way inside.
Right in the bottom.
Ah!
Oh what I did.
I don't care if what you got a date with Audrey tonight.
I am no more sitting up with that no goodnick plant.
But gee Mr Mushnick you don't have to sit up with it anymore. It's all grown up now.
Excellent smart guy. How do you know it don't be hungry no more?
- Well because... - Tonight yo are staying.
Then tomorrow they are coming and they are going to give you a trophy.
And then after that we are getting rid once and for all for that plant.
- Getting rid of it why? - Don't ask why.
Why, the end. Into the garbage can. Aloha oh yes Mrs Shiva.
Oh Seymour your wonderful plant.
Oh that's alright Audrey. I'll grow other plants even more wonderful ones.
I know you will. Did you figure out what we are doing tonight?
Yeah we're going to a place full of beautiful flowers.
- We have to stay here? - Yeah.
Well nevermind. We'll have a picnic.
- It will be just like going to the country. - Oh boy.
- Did you get those 3000 pink azaleas? - For the arbor? - And the 9,000 yellow marms.
- For the border. - And the roses for the front.
No for around the back.
What do you mean you're going for a picnic at night with that Fulquard girl?
- Don't you like Audrey Ma? - She's out after your money.
- I don't have any money. - Oh she's a smart one.
She'll latch onto you until you get some and then goodbye fortune.
But Audrey is an honest girl Ma. - Yeah never trust a woman who's too healthy.
- But Audrey had a bad cold a couple of weeks ago. - Oh a cold a puny cold.
Why don't you get yourself a real female with something
decent like manannucleousis, or gall stones.
- Well maybe she could catch something like that. - The only thing she'll catch is you.
And she'll take you off to some shady sanitarium and leave me
to chiropractors and faith healers.
- I know when I'm not wanted. - Oh gee Ma.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'll just find a nice wet ally
somewhere and curl up and wait for the end.
Aw please don't die till get back. Will ya Ma?
I'll take care of you. I'll always take care of ya. I promise. Bye
- Gee Audrey I never tasted food like this before.
- It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
- Peanut butter and jelly, what does that cure? - Nothing its just a food.
Well what good is it if it doesn't clear up pimples or
shrink your sinus tissues or something?
You're just being silly, Seymour.
- Seymour, what do you want to be? - Well I want to grow things.
If I had allot of money Id go to the South Seas where they
grow the most fabulous plants in the world.
- That sounds exciting. - I'd like to go to the South Seas too.
- There's no reason why you couldn't go. - Would you take me with you Seymour?
Oh I couldn't very well go without you Audrey. - Why not?
- Because I'm in love with you Audrey. - Oh I'm in love with you to Seymour.
- Feed me. - What did you say. - I was just kidding.
- I'm hungry, - Seymour. - I didn't mean it.
- Why did you say it? - Oh food. - You didn't even say that.
- Oh yes I did. I said it, I said it. - No I'm looking right at you. - I'm a ventriloquist.
- Your a what? - A ventrili... - Feed me.
- Seymour do you feel alright. - Well I don't know I'm not sure.
Well then stop all this nonsense and kiss me.
I'm dying from hunger.
Alright if you're so hungry eat something but forget about me.
- Gee I'm sorry Audrey. - Give me to eat.
If you cant control yourself I'm going home.
- I need some chow. - Oh. - Oh my empty stomach.
Audrey please wait, listen to me.
I've listened to all the nonsense I want to hear Seymour. You're a nut.
You tell me that you love me and then you act like a compete idiot.
Please listen Audrey. I'll be able to explain everything soon.
- But why cant you explain now. - Because so many things are so important.
I want to marry you but I got to take care of Mom.
Well that plant in there is going to make it all come true.
Tomorrow they are going to give me a trophy and I'll be famous. I'll be a big botanist.
And then we can go to the South Seas just like we planned.
But that doesn't have anything to do with what went on in there.
When you're ready to come to your senses Seymour, then I'll talk to you.
Goodnight Seymour.
- I'm getting pretty tired of you. - I need food.
I don't care what you need. Look what you have done to me.
You not only made a butcher out of me but you drove my girl away.
- Shut up and bring on the food. - Don't tell me to shut up, you shut up.
Who raised you from a bunch of little seeds?
Who fed you all them high class fertilizers and sat up with you all night when you were sick?
Nobody else would have done that for you.
Do you think anyone else would have brought you human beings to eat?
You're darn right they wouldn't. Well I've helped you and you've helped me.
Now shut your trap and go to sleep, I'm tired.
Krelboyne! Turnaround.
Close your eyes. You are asleep. Open your eyes.
- Now you will do as I say, do you follow me? - Yes master.
- You will go out and find me some food. - Yes master.
Now be gone and waste no time.
(Honk, honk) Idiot!
My name is Leonora Clyde how is the rain on the rhubarb?
Master is hungry.
Well hello there.
I gotta find food for master.
Food I gotta find for master. For master I got to find food.
- Maybe I can help. - Who are you.
My name is Leonora Clyde, I love you.
- Master wants food. - Let the old goat wait. The night is young and so are we.
Master doesn't eat goat.
Well what kind of food does he like?
Oh that's more like it. Kiss me.
- What's the matter don't you like me? - Too bony.
Too bony, nobody ever told me that before.
- Beef is better than veal. - Oh you're such a dodo. What do you call this, chopped liver?
(Giggles) - Master would like more fat. - Speak for yourself John.
- My name is Seymour. - My name is Seymour. - That's my name too.
Are you interested or are you just wasting my time?
I never thought anybody would volunteer.
- Do you volunteer? - Sure I do.
Alright if you're sure you want to volunteer.
- Alright my place or yours. - I don't care. - Well flip a coin.
- I don't have a coin. - Flip anything silly.
Well there's a rock. Wet or dry?
Wet.
The search was narrowing and we knew that soon we would have the killer.
Not that we had anymore clues than before.
But we had to tell the Chief something. I had that feeling
in my bones that the mystery was drawing to it's climax.
And I was determined to be on hand.
Alright out, out, out. Nobody is in. Today we have a special
occasion for Seymour Krelboyne which has invented the big plant.
So I want everybody should please stay out of the way.
We want Seymour, we want Seymour, we want Seymour!
Seymour! Ah!
I tell you this business is worst than being a conductor in a revolving door.
- I'll be glad when this day is finished. - What's the celebration?
- They're presenting my son with a trophy. - Yeah what did he do run away from home?
Please don't look at me that way Audrey I want to talk to you.
I'm sorry Seymour, I just don't understand you.
- I'll explain everything after the ceremony. - You police what are you doing here?
Heard there was something going on here this evening.
Just thought we would come by and keep an eye on things.
Look we don't need no eyes kept on nothing everything is....
The Society of Silent Flower Observers has arrived and sunset is almost upon us.
Welcome lady and gentlemen we are honored for to have you.
- Still working on those disappearances. - We think they were murdered.
Hey look here young man. That's no way to talk at a time like this. Let me see your tongue.
- Know what you got. - Just the facts Maam.
Trench mouth. I know, I had it back in '09.
- Better have that looked into Frank. - Whatever you say Joe.
Mr Krelboyne, the sun is going down now, and you do think those buds are going to open?
I hope so.
Because if they don't Mr Krelboyne, we shall just have to
present the award at another time.
- Oh it's starting to open. - Isn't that marvelous.
Oh look the first bud is open.
- Isn't that... - The railroad cop. Look at the rest.
Ah!
- What do you think Frank? - They're all there Joe. - Yes you're right. Mr Krelbone.
- How do you explain this. - I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it.
-That's right officer he didn't mean to kill them. - Seymour!
Seymour you promised you'd explain.
- Looks like they're getting away Joe. - Guess you're right. Let's catch him.
Right.
- Oh now the float will be perfect. - Yeah.
You wouldn't find him here with the toilets. Let's go back.
- You dirty rat plant. You messed up my whole life. - Feed me!
I'll feed ya.
I'll feed ya like you never been fed before.
- Best is to give up gentleman. You wouldn't find him tonight.
- Look the door is open Frank.
- He was such a good boy.
- Seymour!
- I didn't mean it.