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[Interviewer: Okay, if you could state your name, age, and *** orientation?]
Daniel Greene. 36 going on 37 pretty soon. Gay.
[Interviewer: Are you dating or do you have a partner and how long have you been together?]
I have a partner and I actually we're going to be together for a year next Monday so we're
pretty close to a year
[Interviewer: What challenges did people face when coming out 30 years ago?]
Well, I can't talk about 30 years ago exactly 'cause I'm only 36 but when I came out I
was sixteen, so that was twenty years ago
and um...
gosh...
I was lucky 'cause I went to the School of Creative & Performing Arts and
you'd think maybe everybody there was gay but actually it wasn't really that many gay
people but it was just that it was okay to be gay there
and so I pretty much came out to most everybody when I was sixteen
um... but then when I went to UCLA to study theatre arts
uh... there's the whole fraternity system there the whole greek system you know
and I joined the Gay and Lesbian Association -- GALA --
and I was the publicity director
and I would go out and uh... I remember one time we were going out after gay men's rap
group
we went to this pizza place and we walk in and these fraternity guys are like
"*** duuuuuuuude! AIDS duuuuuuude!
you know seriously like that and it was really
um...
immature and
uh...
in a way painful and even though I felt like I was above being insulted by that it's difficult
to walk into pizza place after you've had this really nice connection with a bunch of
gay men and you're feeling good about yourself and you walk into a restaurant and you're reminded
that not everybody accepts your lifestyle
and then I actually wrote a letter to the editor of the of the Daily Bruin and I talked
about how these
frat boys have received us in the restaurant
and believe it or not
the the frat that they were from they came up and they set fire to the Gay And Lesbian Association
office and luckily somebody stopped the fire but they burned down part of the door
and um...
you know if they were trying to burn down the office
so... so much for writing an inflammatory letter, right?
yet but that's that's
that's pretty much my story about difficulty I mean my grandparents were really against
me and unfortunately my grandfather
disowned me twice, I mean he disowned me and then my grandmother talked him back into
letting me back into their lives and and he let me back in but then I showed up with
a lover and
that was just too much for him and then he disowned me again and I didn't see my grandparents again
for a while
and I remember when I was at UCLA
um...
the first Christmas that I spent entirely alone
because my mother had an affair with a guy who was ten years younger than she was and
she didn't want his parents to know how old she was so she claimed to be like ten or fifteen
years younger than she was so I couldn't be with her
'cause she was with his parents for Christmas and she couldn't have a son my age and then
my dad was with his parents who wouldn't have me 'cause I was gay so I just spent
Christmas by myself in the Greenery restaurant on Santa Monica Boulevard just like
feeling homeless so that was a pretty pathetic part of
being young and being gay
[Interviewer: How was it coming out to your mother and father?]
well, my mother screamed bloody ***. She said
"What am I going to tell the neighbors? "What are they going to say? 'Your son, the ***'?"
and she said something about
house she was going to have a fairy flitting around
and
acting effeminate or, I don't know, it was like these stereotypes that all of a sudden
reared their ugly head the moment I told my mom that I was gay
and she thought that I was going to be a certain way based on what she thought gay people were
um...
luckily
she calmed down and I actually kinda had to become a teacher to both my parents I had
to teach them
to sensitize them, to train them,
to gently urge them to love me
which was sort of strange I almost had to become my own
marketing department like, "Love me. I'm gay. It's all right."
um... but I did you know and I also had to teach my dad the same thing. he, uh...
well he told me you know, son
you're sixteen
that makes you a chicken
and their men out there that are hawks-- chicken hawks
and they're going to want you to perform *** acts with them. have you ever thought about
this
and you know he said have you ever thought about
having a man's *** in your ***? have you ever thought about
putting your mouth on a man's ***? and the weird thing is I had never really thought about that 'cause I just knew I was
was gay because being gay is an affectionate thing. it's it's it's about love and romance and affection
you don't necessarily think about sex acts when you're a kid
coming out
but I remember when my dad told me that I was like
I never of that
but, well, actually that does sound pretty good! you know? ha ha ha!
[Interviewer: Do you think it's much easier to come out today?]
Well, I'd like to think so
but I don't know um... hm...
you know it's probably easier today than it was
maybe even five years ago I remember five years ago I was uh... I'm a sign language interpreter
and I was interpreting a school
and I was in a classroom everyday and uh... one day the kids were just-- I mean every day
I had to listen to *** this and *** that and they didn't even know anything about me
they were just talking to each other oh that's so gay, oh you ***
and it stung me every time I heard it I would go home and feel like
"Damn! Why do I have to listen to this hate?"
and then one day they were just slinging it like mud, you know this
hate talking about Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve and
my brother's a *** basher and I'm gonna follow in his footsteps, and you know, anyway
anyway I found out uh...
there with the the teacher
well I shouldn't go into too many details that might be--
that might give away people's identities but anyway the point is there was one boy
in the class
who came out to them and said he was gay
and his teacher
told him that
he brought upon itself
took the beating for it brought upon itself he shouldn't have told them that he was gay
and that was only short time ago
um... luckily now when I go to some of these campuses that I used to experience, um
homophobia on
I see these signs that say
such-and-such high school will not tolerate any
homophobia
uh... gender discrimination, racist slurs, or anything like that and I know that some campuses
now have
uh... gay friendly groups where you can be gay or friends
of gay people
so I guess it's easier, I'm hoping it's easier
[Interviewer: When it comes to being gay, what freedoms do you enjoy today that couldn't be enjoyed 30 years ago?]
well, gosh, I mean thirty years ago from what I hear you couldn't even danced with a man in a bar
and there were laws against that. um, now
I actually won some dance championships with the International Gay Rodeo Association they
had these gay
uh... ballroom dancing
championships I danced with a man and
I can go out with my lover and we can dance together touch dancing or slow dancing or just "boogieing"
you know, or whatever we want to do
um...
every everyday my lover my walk our dogs and we walk down the street holding hands with our
arms around each other or kissing each other or whatever
and uh... we haven't gotten any flack for it
and I doubt that we could have done that 30 years ago
any of the things I've done-- being a member of the gay rap group
gay student union
uh...
walking in a gay pride parade
even doing this interview I probably wouldn't have done 30 years ago
[Interviewer: If people needed help being gay or had any questions, where do you think people would turn to?
well I've heard that unfortunately a lot of people went through psychiatry that
tried to turn them into straight people-- aversion therapy and
I don't know what other methods but I know that they weren't successful, they never have been. There are still
groups like Exodus and Ex-Gays or whatever that try to make you into a straight
person
and I haven't heard any success from those groups
I hear a lot of hypocrisy from it
I've heard of people turning to their
clergy and
basically being told they're gonna burn in hell or you know that being gay is an abomination
and nowadays
I go to my rabbi and she's a woman and she's open minded and I can talk with her about
anything she's going to marry my partner and me
so things have changed a lot
[Interviewer: so are you a part of... when was your first Pride event?]
it was uh... June 1985
and I remember distinctly because it was on my birthday
it was on June 7th, 1985 or no, it might have been June 8th, 1985
'cause my birthday was was prom night and it was the very next day that I marched in the gay pride
parade with my prom date
who was my ex-girlfriend we came out to each other I came out her I told her you know
actually I'm gay and she said really?
I am too, so we just became friends
but uh...
but yeah I remember the the slogan that year was please don't feed the fundies
because they were these fundamentalist that would yell at us and carry picket signs and
and they would protest the gay pride parade so that then the gay
people had signs that said "Please don't feed the fundies" you know, please don't feed into their anger
don't engage in any hostile
interaction with them or anything like that
so I enjoyed walking the gay pride parade and I was eighteen
oh, and another reason I remember that is because my mom said you're not gonna march in a
pride parade while you're under eighteen
and I yes but the next gay pride parade is the day after my birthday and I'm gonna
march in it and I did
[Interviewer: have you ever been a part of a gay organization, club, or group?]
like I said the Gay And Lesbian Association
in 1985 at UCLA
I was the director of publicity and I also went to the gay men's rap groups
dances and parties we had
and then I was the
secretary-- no no no
I was the co-chair of the Gay Student Union at Mesa College
in San Diego
in nineteen... '92, '93
or something like that. um...
I've been a member of Club X which is a leather, SM, fetish fantasy, whatever you want to
call it-- I guess they call it BDSM these days
it's that kind of group
and I was Mister San Diego Leather 1995 and then I was involved in things with that
as I said I've been a member of IGRA
International Gay Rodeo Association and... I don't know what else
[Interviewer: Are you a part of any religious organization?]
yeah I go to Congregation Dor Hadash which is a Reconstructionist synagogue in San Diego
[Interviewer: In regards to the media, what do you see that you like about gay shows and gay characters?]
well...
I think it's kind of funny the way Garson
or Carson I mean Carson on *** As Folk [Edit: I meant *** Eye for the Straight Guy]
he's always patting the guys right around their crotches you know it's sort of like
arranging their pants and their shirts and everything and gets really close to their
crotches
uh...
but then again but I also think sometimes he's just too over the top and too flambouyant
but on the other hand I really love him. I laugh-- I mean every time a watch that show I laugh
several times
just based on things that he says off the top- I mean off the cuff
and I think that it's important to have
that mixture that they have. they have, like
you know the guy who's sort of straight you know, I think it's Tim, the cook guy he sort of not
straight, but you know, he's kind of
plain, you know, not flamboyant and then you've got Carson because that's how gay people are! I mean there are
so many different kinds of gay people. some people are very quiet and subdued
some people are like really butch and masculine like even more masculine than the average straight
guy and then there's Carson who's just like "Whoo!" some of us are like that, I mean I'm like that too
sometimes
I am just determined to do everything
now that I used to do when I lived a straight lifestyle
I mean, I don't think I ever was straight, you know, because I think I've been gay ever since I was a little boy, but, um
I used to go out with girls and hold hands and
walk arm-in-arm and kiss in public and things like that but I do the same thing now with men--
well one-man now. see, we're engaged um, other than that
things that I take for granted
well marriage would be good, you know, legal marriage I mean I--
I suppose
I don't know if I ever thought I'd get married but I mean you know
you grow up and you think that you're going to have
the right to get married and then you find out that you love
the same sex and that those people can't get legally married
and that's
a big disappointment
and I think actually in some ways the older I get and the more my peers
mature
and the more I see that
people my age are married and they have kids
and then where am I? you know?
and I'm lucky and, and I'm thankful that I have my partner
and that's something that, even if nobody gives us legal rights
nobody can take that away from me