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>> Twyla Cummings: Good
afternoon.
My name; oh, good afternoon.
My name is Twyla Cummings and I
am the Paul and Louise Miller
Distinguished Professor in the
School of Print Media.
And the Associate Dean, thank
you; and the Associate Dean for
the College of Imaging Arts and
Sciences here at RIT.
And it is truly my pleasure to
welcome you to today's lecture
presentation.
I am so pleased that you have
chosen to join us for this very
special occasion.
We appreciate the fact that this
event will be enriched by the
presence and expertise of our
professional sign language
interpreters.
We thank them for their
dedication to this important
work.
Today's event is part of the
Paul and Louise Miller Lecture
Series, which is one of several
programs that is part of the
School of Print Media's News
Media Initiative.
This series is comprised of
lectures on the current
cultural, business, technology
and audience trends in news
publishing.
The College of Imaging Arts and
Sciences and the Paul and Louise
Miller Professorship are pleased
to sponsor this event.
Additionally, I would like to
recognize our other event
sponsors; Academic Affairs,
Division of Student Affairs,
Barnes and Noble at RIT, the
Multi Cultural Center for
Academic Success, Alumni
Relations, the Center for Campus
Life, the Office for Diversity
and Inclusion and the Center for
Women and Gender.
This event would not have been
possible without your support so
please join me in thanking our
sponsors.
[Applause]
>> Twyla: The Paul and Louise
Miller Distinguished
Professorship was established in
1976 by the Trustees of the
Gannett Foundation, in honor of
Paul and Louise Miller.
Paul Miller became the President
of Gannett Corporation in 1957
and in 1963, was elected
President of the Associated
Press.
He was appointed to the Board of
Trustees of the Rochester
Institute of Technology in 1950.
Throughout his career, he
maintained that our actions must
be determined not by mere
compliance with state or federal
law.
Not by public attitudes but on
the basis of doing the right
thing.
This afternoon's lecture,
entitled Portrayal of Women in
News and Other Media, is a
testament to Mr. Miller's words.
Today's news is very; is a very
powerful, distributed media that
can invoke a positive or a
negative reaction or impact and
can subsequently change the
course of one's life.
Issues involving women are often
popular topics in the media and
many times women are depicted in
unflattering ways, which only
serves to establish certain
stereotypes and impressions as
to how women think, how women
act and how they will respond in
certain situations.
This is a very relevant topic
for not just women, but for
everyone that is a consumer of
news and distributed media.
We are so fortunate to have
award winning actress and author
Victoria Rowell here to shed
some light on this topic.
As a woman in the media
spotlight, she has firsthand
knowledge of how women are
portrayed both positively and
negatively across various
mediums.
She is able to draw from her
real life experiences and
through her unique perspective,
she will share these insights
with us today.
I have had the privilege to hear
her speak previously and I can
tell you that you are in for a
very special treat.
After her lecture, we will have
time for a short Q and A period.
There are microphones located in
the 2 main aisles and since this
event is being recorded, we
really, really, really need you
to use the microphones when
you're asking your questions.
So on that note, it gives me
great pleasure to bring to the
podium Darci Lane-Williams,
Director for the Center for
Women and Gender here at RIT, to
introduce our speaker.
>> Darci Lane-Williams: Thank
you.
Thank you, Twyla.
Thank you for joining us today.
I just had the pleasure of
meeting Victoria and she's
amazing.
So you're in for a treat.
We're wrapping up Women's
History month and in that
spirit, we have invited an
amazing woman to share her
insights, experiences and wisdom
with us.
Many of you know her from The
Young and The Restless, a
daytime drama that she starred
on for 17 years.
[Applause]
>> Darci: Some of you may
recognize her from her various
roles in television and film.
Those of you that are drawn to
the internet may have read her
blogs with the Huffington Post.
Women who fancy hats may
recognize her hat line.
Victoria is also an ally to the
GLBT community and I bet only a
few of you know that she is also
a rapper.
I didn't know that either.
You can Google that later if you
don't believe me.
Victoria Rowell has been honored
with 12 NAACP Image awards.
She earned these prestigious
awards for her accomplishments
not only as an actress but as an
author as well.
Victoria's debut literary work
is titled, The Women Who Raised
Me.
In this book, she shares her
experiences as a girl who spent
her entire childhood in the
foster care system, a system in
which she is now a passionate
advocate for children who need
an advocate the most.
Victoria celebrates the women
who supported and loved her
without regard to race or
relation.
As a child Victoria discovered a
love of dance and became an
accomplished ballet dancer.
I could go on about Victoria and
how awesome she is but I'm sure
you already know that and that's
why you're here.
You're in for a treat, a ray of
light on a less than sunny day
here in Rochester.
It is my pleasure and honor to
introduce a phenomenal,
accomplished, down to earth and
very sweet, beautiful woman, Ms.
Victoria Rowell.
>> Victoria Rowell: Good
afternoon.
It's great to be here.
There's the mic.
That's wonderful.
Thank you, RIT.
God, what an impressive campus.
Thank you Professor Cummings and
I so thank you for that
beautiful introduction, all the
work that you do.
I was here last year.
I was invited to give a key note
and meet with the women and
families at the YWCA.
And it was particularly; and you
know, I have heels.
I have them with me and I have
them in the bag.
They're wonderful high heels.
But I thought, this is really my
shoe of choice, the Timbs.
Anybody else with me in the
audience?
Yeah. Inclement weather, I can
stand on point.
You know, there's all kinds of
things I can do with the Timbs.
But I came out here at the
invitation of the YWCA and
because of my work in child
welfare and the Annie E. Casey
Foundation, which is a
charitable arm of United Parcel
Service.
I wanted to visit and I wanted
to meet with the facilitators
because we had an incredible
program that wasn't just an
emergency program, but a program
that had wrap around services
and long term residential.
And if you don't know about the
YWCA program here in Rochester,
I please encourage you to find
out more and perhaps volunteer
there.
The women are amazing.
But whenever I visit, because my
own history, a lot of it is lost
to me.
I have an incredible and
insatiable appetite to learn the
history of others.
So that also includes where I
visit.
So I don't just go from the
plane to the hotel and do the
lecture and then get on the
plane and then go back home.
I walk around and I went over to
the George Kodak home and I
happened to walk; I love
architecture and I love gardens
and that was incredible.
And then they have; who knew
there was like a beautiful,
silent film or theater in the
back there.
And I caught a silent film and
you know, I saw the Bausch and
Lomb facility and it was just
great.
I just had a great time.
And I met Twyla during the YWCA
lecture and you know, we sort of
brainstormed and so here we are.
So thank you for this amazing
invitation which loops into
media.
You've got to open your mouth.
And you've got to have moral
courage.
And don't self edit your ideas
and your wisdom.
You're here for a reason.
It's an absolute miracle, and
I'm not going to give a whole
anthropological lalalalala.
But what I'm going to say is
that it's a miracle that you
stand here.
Millennium have produced you, so
understand that your ideas are
salient and important and as
women in media, you are going to
be told no.
Many, many, many times.
Typically in news it is a male
driven industry where women's
pitches are not typically
embraced.
I'm going to share just a few
hot button topics around women
in news behind the camera.
And then we'll talk about the
women a little bit in front of
the camera.
But for instance, there's
discrimination around maternity
leaves, still.
There's been some gains but
there is still discrimination
around maternity leave and child
care.
I remember when I was pregnant
working on a show and I was just
a contract player and I was
told, forced, to stop working.
There is a fear that rises up.
You know, you're under contract
but oh my God, what if I go
against the producers.
Oh my God, it's my bread and
butter and what will I do?
Okay, and I left.
And I didn't want to leave.
I had no medical issue.
I was you know, ready to go to
work and I said okay.
And then I was asked to give
back, refund the company 40,000
dollars.
And I called my agent and I said
what is going on here?
I'm now being called and asked
to return 40,000 dollars of my
annual income.
Why? They feel that they've
overpaid you.
So I won't go into all the nuts
and bolts of what happened but
again, the question arose, well
Vicky, this is where your bread
is buttered.
Are you going to go up against
this huge company and dispute
that they've overpaid you by
40,000.
I'm under contract and I didn't;
and I gave them back the 40,000.
But let's go even deeper.
What kind of framing do we have
as women that protects us?
The people that say that they
are your representatives don't
represent.
So you really have to read the
fine print.
As I mentioned earlier, women in
the production of news have less
access to the investigative
materials.
You may have a fantastic story,
from a women's perspective, that
would really resonate with the
total audience.
But typically, your story will
not see the light of day or your
story will be taken and
produced, but you will not get
the credit for it.
Sexism in the workplace.
Well Vicky, why do you have
Timberlands on?
Sexism in the workplace.
We are expected to flirt, still.
One of my favorite shows is Mad
Men.
I love that Matthew Wiener
fought, nobody wanted his show
and AMC said yes.
But this show, you know, it's a
depiction of what happened then.
But how far from it are we
really?
And there's an expectation to
flirt.
There's an expectation to flirt
and do whatever to get that
interview.
To get that job.
And it still goes on.
I've seen it and it is
detrimental of course to a
progressive process, when we
have women that play into that.
Now I don't blame the women,
because unfortunately, they
haven't been mentored.
And we have a series of women
who get to and beyond the glass
ceiling and then they're given
severance packages.
And we have senior level women
as EP's.
There's one EP in news at ABC.
One. One. Few and far between
are in those executive seats and
there are women in those
executive seats that are so
exhausted from lugging that
weight, that when they get there
and they have the staying power,
not without the blow back, the
push back, ever single day with
all the things I've just
peppered in and more, right now.
You know, they're wives, they're
significant others.
They have children.
They're going to the soccer
games.
They're on the boards.
They have this whole
professional life and showing up
for all of that.
They're; we're exhausted and
putting on this face and this
body armor going into work.
So they're exhausted.
So then you know, a younger;
you've graduated let's say,
hypothetically and you are
walking into this, you know, big
corporation and you're
wondering, well why isn't Mrs.
Jones helping me more?
And you've got all kinds of
ideas and an attitude behind why
isn't she doing more?
Well she did as much as she
could.
So there is that perspective.
Then you have women that get
behind a desk, get the seat and
they're not budging.
And they don't want to see you
come through the door because
you're going to change things.
And you know, familiarity can be
very dangerous because one
doesn't want change.
This is work, this the status
quo and you coming in and
turning the apple cart upside
down really reflects on what
Mrs. Jones isn't doing.
For 20 years.
And here you come, with all your
bright, fancy ideas,
progressive.
You know, you've got several ear
piercings, you've got a streak
of purple in your hair.
You're wearing Timbs.
And you come in and you've got
all these fabulous ideas that
are going to open the company in
and; open the company up and
exponentially grow to bigger
financial success.
Some people don't want you
there.
And they're going to make it
very difficult.
Let's say you're in the company
but they're going to make it
very difficult and sometimes
unfortunately, that may come
from another woman because you
are competition.
And there's only one desk.
And there's only a couple maybe,
of opportunities.
Because we're not at the big
table.
We're not in that board room
decision making table and so
there's in-fighting instead of
the mentoring that should be
broad and open and the
opportunity isn't there.
So what we need is access.
You know, I was really; I'm
going to loop back to our women
and the flirting.
I was so disappointed when you
know, a senior EP at NBC retired
last year.
Oh, my God.
She was cute, African American,
right up there universally with
all of the executives.
And Jeff Zucker, hey nobody told
me my button wasn't buttoned.
And you know, she retired and
she's running the Africa Channel
now.
And I just had the pleasure of
working with her on a project in
Maroon Town in Jamaica.
And you know, I just had to say
something, you know, oh Paula.
And I came away from talking
with her with the understanding
that it takes so much to get to
this apex of a huge corporation
and have that kind of decision
making power.
There is this thing called self
preservation as well in this
process because it takes a lot
out of you.
And we have to make a decision,
even when we've reached this
incredible place, up there,
where the air is kind of
rarified.
It's also a little thin.
And you have to make a decision.
Am I going to stay or am I going
to go and take my chances to
grow where I think my ideas will
be cultivated and I will really
see my vision take off?
And that takes courage.
That just takes plain courage.
Back to my flirtatious ladies.
If we don't give our young
girls, our young ladies, the
mentoring in the beginning, and
not all of us are mentored by a
mother; a bio mom.
I certainly wasn't mentored by
my bio mom.
I was meant to be raised by many
mothers and it is also our
responsibility as young ladies
to extract the light from other
women who are offering it to us.
Now they are not going to walk
around with a placard saying I'm
your mentor, I'm your mentor.
No. Usually the person you want
to mentor you is unavailable
because they're that fabulous.
They're that busy and you really
have to pursue them, not in an
obnoxious way, but in a way that
is mildly aggressive but with
class.
So pursue that person.
Let them know that you're
serious and deeds, not words.
Deeds. Show them that you're
serious.
You're going to show up, you're
going to suit up and you mean
business.
Sometimes your mentoring will
come from that woman or a group
of women.
Also watch them, listen to them,
learn from them.
Many of the young ladies
depicted in media today; I don't
know what their idea is of being
a woman.
When you look at media rewarding
front cover stories to Snooki,
to Kim Kardashian, to
romanticizing teen pregnancy.
When you look at these
depictions; Nicki Minaj,
backside all out and these women
are now on the covers of our
leading periodicals.
And so you have to ask the
overarching publisher, would you
allow your; is this what you
want your young daughters to
look like?
We know that Kim Kardashian's
claim to fame; her initial
introduction to celebrity was a
sex tape.
So it's probably my phone.
We're just going to pretend that
this is theater and it's not
happening.
But this is what we're up
against.
Media is a powerful tool, in
both directions.
But this is what's being fed to
not only our young ladies, but
to our young men.
This is what we're presenting;
America is presenting.
A type of prostitution.
This is what we're saying is
good.
We're the tastemakers and this
is what we're presenting.
Very dangerous.
And there is a ripple effect in
the imagery of women.
Girls who and parents who have
poured everything they know that
is good into their child.
Young ladies and young men
alike.
This is what we want for you.
This is our standard.
This is our gold standard and
everything that they have taught
them; all their values; is being
contradicted over here.
Mass media 24/7, in the little
portals, on the big portals, on
the magazines, on the
billboards.
I mean raising my children in
Hollywood; I would have to take
a different route because there
was a billboard with a woman,
almost topless, on a billboard.
Reality television.
Anything goes.
The worst behavior.
You've got bad girls, you've got
[inaudible], you've got Miss New
York.
Look. All of it is
entertainment, I get it.
And people will say well turn
the channel.
Don't watch it.
It's a bigger issue, isn't it?
It's everywhere.
Why? Because at the end of the
day it's about money.
It's about sales.
It's about advertising time.
And whoever sells is going to
get that slot.
It doesn't matter what it's
about.
And at the end of the day,
reality television is so cost
effective for networks and for
cable.
It's one camera, unscripted.
They own you.
All these housewive shows.
Horrific. This is not the
depiction of women.
Women. Educated women in the
world.
And America chooses to show
women in this ignorant, baseless
narrative.
That is not who we are, as white
women.
As black women.
As Asian women.
As Latinas.
As; it does not depict who we
are as a gender.
And people say well what can we
do?
I mean media is big.
Yeah media is big.
And we see how it can work, most
recently with the Trayvon Martin
case.
Media is very powerful.
And so okay, well what is it
about media that, that makes a
difference?
Well, advertising.
Are you buying the products?
Are you buying the products?
Most likely, yes.
Women are huge consumers.
For instance, African American
spending according to
Neilson.com is to hit 1.4
trillion in 2014.
We're generational buyers.
I was on a soap opera as was
mentioned earlier.
We sell Proctor and Gamble soap.
That's what soaps went on the
radio for; to sell soap, for
housewives.
We still sell you know Pine Sol
and all kinds of Beatrice
products.
You have to know who's at the
top.
In the billions, you're buying.
So if you want to create
effective change, you have to
make a decision.
Well, maybe I'm not going to buy
that product until I see them
turn the corner here.
That's the only way.
You've got to get off the bus.
And yeah, maybe it's going to be
a generic paper towel.
And maybe it's going to be an
eco friendly detergent, and good
for you by the way.
But believe it when I say your
drop in the bucket will
eventually add up and get the
change you want to see, because
the minute those magazines stop
selling.
The minute that show gets a call
from Proctor and Gamble or
whoever.
You have to study what's being
advertised.
The minute those things stop,
they will change.
Based upon your e-mails, your
hard mail.
They read those e-mails.
Believe me, somebody is counting
what you're asking for.
But if it doesn't affect; if it
does not affect the purse,
there's really not going to be a
whole lot of change.
But if they know that you're
going to change that dial, then
there will be change.
I wanted to start out with the
sexism, with the
flirtatiousness, with the lack
of mentoring at the senior level
because we're not there.
Many, many; I've talked to many
women.
Women who have put in 30 years
with an airlines.
Women who have put in 30 years
with a network.
Women with the news.
My niece works at ABC.
Many of those women of those
circumstances and I just told
you it's just a small minority
of women in those positions,
though they exist.
There's 1 and when they get
those severance packages, they
typically leave.
They're ready to go.
So I wanted to start off there.
I will now share with you some
of my experiences on the
entertainment side.
I've always been about the
business.
Not just going in there and
reading the lines, but I would
evaluate, well where are the
women?
Where are minority women?
What's going on?
And I would ask the hard
questions and gather the data.
So for instance, Young and the
Restless.
It's been on the show for 38
years and it's 51 percent owned
by Sony and 1 percent is owned
by Ken Corday and the rest of
the percentages are owned by the
Bell family and William Bell,
who hired me, who is now
deceased.
He was a fantastic man.
But when he hired me he said
Vicky; he was very specific.
He needed to hire me because his
predominant audience was African
American women.
Those women are predominantly in
the south.
The number 1 market is
Louisiana.
These are typically older,
single women, some living on
dirt roads but they don't have a
computer.
And so those measurements
aren't; aren't taken.
They are unknown.
But they do know that their
audience on the Young and the
Restless is overwhelmingly
African American women and over
50 percent.
The show is licensed to over 150
countries on the continent of
Africa.
It shows twice a day in the
Caribbean.
From Romania to France, I mean
150 countries that we know of.
And so I beg the question given
this data; sirs, may I write for
the show?
You don't have; you've never had
a minority writer and you've
never had a minority director or
a minority executive producer or
producer or co-producer.
I've given these years.
I've given story line.
Foster care adoption story line.
Behind the scenes I've done the
choreography.
I did the classical music
selection.
I've consulted on wardrobe.
I've presented in education
forums on behalf of the show.
Done press, did the parades;
Rose Bowl, Thanksgiving parades.
May I please, as an African
American woman, working for CBS
for 22 years, between 2 shows.
May I please write an episode?
No. And so if not me, then who?
And if not me, when?
And so it was time to continue,
not alone in this struggle.
I had been working on diversity.
I got a black, very capable hair
stylist onto the show.
And there were many, many
circumstances where I was
working.
I went to CBS H.R. to try to get
foster youth employed.
I was successful in getting
foster youth behind the scenes,
employed through VIACOM and I
have a youth that's still
working in the entertainment
industry.
Earl Sampson for Paramount.
But I went to the National Urban
League.
I was disappointed the NAACP
didn't do more.
But the National Urban League
stepped up and we were able to
successfully present the data
and we were able to convince
Sony that yes, we need to look
at this.
And last year they gave full
contracts to African American
writer Susan Dansby, 4 time Emmy
Award winner, and to Albert
Alarr, black director.
So this was really a victory.
As women, I think; I know, we're
hard wired, beyond the actual
job.
We don't just go into the job
and sit down.
We feel the energy and we look
at the environment.
And if we don't we're not
breathing.
And when I walked into work
every week, I thought this just
is not right.
I'm presenting, I feel like the
dancing dog.
I know I have a huge following
and I can't get anyone to listen
to me before, don't go, Neil.
And I was just like, I can do
that with my eyes closed, right?
What do you mean, Phyllis?
Get over here Lily, Devon, Mrs.
Chancellor, Victor.
I can do that, I love it.
I love it.
You know? Malcolm, where have
you been?
Yeah. All that's fun, right?
And you count on that.
And my employers count on me to
deliver that.
But growing up in foster care
with strong, intrepid women.
They didn't have money.
Farmers. One mother sold Avon,
worked at Boston City Hospital.
Bowled for relaxation.
Another had; you know, none of
them had a lot of money.
But they were courageous and
they stood their ground and they
gave that to me.
That is my inheritance.
And that experience; you think
things are being done to you,
but they're being done for you.
And when I walked into work I
was flanked with these women.
And I was like no, not on my
watch.
This is not right.
You mean to tell me you have a
minority audience, the needle
going towards 60 percent, buying
products generationally, and
there's no one of color in these
positions that make a
difference?
That speaks to this audience
too?
We love the Chancellors.
We love the Abbott's.
We also have the Winters and we
also have others.
And so it's not okay to bring on
an Asian woman and just kick her
to the curb.
And it's not okay to bring in a
Latina and kick her to a curb.
And that revolving door of
diversity; that's not diversity.
And for that matter, why are
there diversity programs?
Why isn't diversity there?
So look. When you are a person
like me who's a humanist, which
I guess makes me an activist.
When you are a person like me
who will absolutely implode if
not given an opportunity to
speak on the issue, in a proper
forum, there's retribution.
And so you have to be prepared,
in any corporate setting, in any
setting.
As I said in the beginning of my
remarks, not everyone is going
to be excited that you're there
at the table.
Not everyone is going to be
excited that you're there.
Because it is different and it
feels like a tight shoe and this
is the way we've done it and
this is the way it works and
therefore it's going to stay
this way.
And so we just need to figure
out a way to get rid of the
problem.
And though some people like to
say D for difficult, I like to
say D for determined.
I probably won't be going back
on that show.
Well yeah, and I say aww too.
But the reality is, it's a
corporation and I've continued
to expose the truth.
And when you expose; I need you
to come back behind the bubbles
with me on this one.
Let's get out of Drusilla land.
Let's come back; come back stage
with me, okay?
Let's come on back stage for a
minute, okay, and let's talk
real talk, okay?
Let's talk smart, women talk.
When, as a woman, you step up to
the plate and you have that bat
in your hand and you're going to
hit a home run for other people,
not just for yourself, but for
other people, the next
generation; you are going to
take a hit.
And you will run that home run.
You will get Susan Dansby
employed.
You will get Albert Alarr.
You will get other women and
minorities.
Maybe one, maybe two.
My years on Young and the
Restless, to me, yes the
entertainment for the fans.
My work for CBS VIACOM, great.
But I feel it's an amalgamation
that sums up to the hiring of 3
minorities.
And jobs for foster youth behind
the camera.
That to me was worth it.
You don't know about that
because you know, that doesn't
get out.
But that's why you don't see me
on that camera.
I asked to return in 2010.
And they don't want to bring me
back; the producers.
For the reasons I just shared
with you.
Beyond that you have to
understand, we have a male ego
attached and you know that if I
were to come back, ratings would
rise.
In a dying industry.
Ratings would rise in a dying
industry and I cannot prove that
and they'd be happy about that.
Because it; though counter
intuitive to business, it would
prove that a woman was able to
not only explore lack of
diversity, help them recognize
and change it and come back and
raise ratings.
It's too much power.
So you have to understand the
dynamics, the psychological
piece attached to that.
And I; my husband has been an
incredible support during this.
It's been very painful, but I
have no regret.
I know the women who raised me.
I know that it was right and it
goes back to having moral
courage.
But there are repercussions.
And it's okay if you decide to
stand on the sidewalk and clap
somebody down that street who is
a marcher.
It's better if you join in
because strength in numbers.
That is an experience.
I continue to write.
You know, I write scripts, I
hope to get one produced.
As you know I write books and
this is you know, the power of
the pen is extremely cathartic
and it's very important for us
to write down the accounts of
our experiences in your
professional journey.
You just never know.
It's very, very, very important.
Beyond, and I have to check my
time.
How are we?
Because I want to do a little Q
and A. How much time do I have
left in my lecture?
About 5 more minutes.
You know, I've had many, many
wonderful opportunities to talk
to different groups about;
whether it's media or whether
it's in child welfare or women
in corporate and you know, what
can we do?
And you know writing is
important and calling is
important.
But I think being the individual
that you are.
Trying to cultivate your ideas
and ownership of your
intellectual ideas and
strategizing, who are the people
that are like minded that will
help me push my idea forward, is
the way to go.
And that's not easy.
It's shocking that sometimes you
will be in the company of
someone who will actually work
against you, who does not want
to see you succeed in that
endeavor.
And finally, and I'm going to
read an excerpt before I close
and the Q and A. I want to talk
about self preservation and
health.
Physically and mentally.
Being a professional woman is
not an easy task because the
expectation is not only to be a
professional, to be aware, to be
present in your life, to care
about the people around you, to
be a teacher and a mentor.
But you do have to go home at
night and not everyone is going
to understand why your
pillowcase is wet.
Why you're weeping quietly.
Not everyone is going to
understand your despair, what
you've experienced at work, how
you are affronted, how you were
insulted.
How you were ill regarded.
How you were excluded.
How solitary sometimes work can
be.
How people tell you what a crazy
idea.
Stupid idea, dumb idea.
Never happen.
She's weird.
Strange. She doesn't belong with
this clique.
Sitting having coffee by
yourself.
Oh God, the person sitting next
to you could be going through
this.
Be kind. A simple act of
kindness to another person could
save their life.
Just a simple act of kindness
and then pass it forward,
because this is tough and these
are tough times.
People are struggling.
We've got grandparents raising a
second generation of children
because of a whole myriad of
reasons, including drug
addiction and mental health; a
whole host of things.
Spending their retirement.
Trying to put grandchildren
through college.
You've got foster youth among
you.
You may not know it.
You have children that are
dealing with domestic violence
and don't know what's going on
in their families.
You get kids that are hanging on
by a piece of dental floss to
stay here.
But you don't know that.
You've got kids that don't go
anywhere at Thanksgiving or
Christmas because they have no
place to go.
And so they get as quiet as a
church mouse and stay in a
corner in their room, hoping
that the janitor doesn't find
them.
Because this is home.
So be kind to each other, even
if the person that is next to
you isn't kind to you.
Try to forgive them.
Pray them up.
>> I'll have to come back to
give you a lecture on
publishing, because that's a
whole other piece.
But writing is wonderful.
If you can get a publishing
deal, it's a great thing.
But writing a book I think is
only 30 percent of the job.
70 percent of it is marketing
and staying in your Timberlands,
on the road.
So I see one of my wonderful
ladies out there.
She looked so upset that I said
I don't think I'm coming back to
Y and R. Look, I didn't say
never.
I just said I don't think.
But you know you have to
remember God has a bigger plan.
So catch me on Let's Stay
Together.
I'll be on that show.
And Single Ladies and I'll be on
Martha Stewart April 10th with
my new book, Tag, Toss and Run;
40 Lawn Games and you know, more
stuff.
Okay. So I'm going to close it
up with when I was living on a
farm; I'm actually a farmer and
this is my foster mother's
bedroom.
I was about 7.
Ma's room was always a haven
where all things fearful or
confusing were banished.
During a time when I slept with
ma, I jumped into bed first.
Here, there were beads and
trinkets, pill bottles or jars
of Ponds Cold Cream, skin
lotions, face powder, fabulous
and expensive wigs on stands and
forms.
Clocks and there were candles
and fabric and yarn.
Rugs, color and texture for
days.
All in that compact, New England
sleeping space.
Now on the rare occasion that I
wasn't feeling well, there was
always a jar of Vicks VapoRub at
the ready.
Vicks, sure, does anybody know
what I'm talking about?
Right. That cure all that Agatha
would rub on my chest then give
me a teaspoon of to ingest
saying, this will kill that old
cold, Vicky.
What? I never asked why, I just
swallowed.
I could feel the blob of heat
going down like a slow ball of
fire.
Does anyone else remember that?
I see some people saying Oh my
God.
Thought that stuff was going to
kill me.
There was some other confusion;
where did the Rowel name come
from?
What did foster mean?
Many times my mother was asked,
is Vicky your daughter?
And Agatha would say yes, she's
my foster daughter.
And I cringed, feeling exposed.
The church lady leading Sunday
service that day; I don't think
she believed, herself.
All such thoughts dimmed when ma
entered the bedroom on the night
in question, lighting it with
her presence as she looked to
see that I laid out her rosary
beads and her orange polyester
pajamas.
Time to turn over sugar and go
to sleep, she said, interrupting
my reverie.
I promptly turned over, face to
the wall, my nose against the
moist air and plaster.
Ma was not only fiercely modest,
but in preparing for her
disrobing ceremony, she was
protecting my young eyes from
seeing her disfigurement.
She had had a radical
mastectomy.
She had broken her back when she
was 12.
She was born in 1902 and she had
Paget's disease and Phlebitis in
one arm.
That had been explained with
many, many words and had been
explained many times.
I remained asleep, the imaginary
line down the middle of the bed,
leaving an empty space of
protected privacy for both of
us.
But this night, I needed to see
for myself how deep her wounds
were.
How heavy was this woman's
burden, who took care of so many
other children?
I watched Agatha's shadow and
silhouette, fighting against
itself on the patterned
wallpaper.
I had to see more.
Ever so slightly I peered over
my shoulder to witness the
agonizing struggle she undertook
to unfasten hooks with her
phlebitic fingers bent behind
her crooked spine.
I held my breath until her
effort and gravity would tear
the medieval corset away from
her ravaged torso and allow it
to fall with a thud to the
floor.
We both exhaled.
Curious to see what else was to
be peeled away, I watched as she
removed her wig and pinned it on
to her Styrofoam form.
Next, lovingly applying cold
cream to her face and throat.
She plucked up a tissue, not
turning around to see whether I
was awake or asleep and said
Vicky, always remember that the
neck and chest are all a part of
the face.
In closing, Agatha knew and
sensed of course that I had been
watching her.
She knew that I had seen her
without her wig, 2 thin braids,
neatly beneath the artificial
hair.
I lay frozen.
How did she channel away the
pain, past and present?
Later I would find out, after
winding a West clock and popping
her Rolaid, she pinched out the
last bits of light that
instantaneously left us in
complete darkness.
In the time that the cricket
sang his first notes,
crucifixes, statuettes and
rosary beads were illuminated in
a chartreuse glow.
The creation of this light I
believed had to be Agatha's
private miracle.
Oh yes, I joined her in reciting
the rosary.
Not understanding why she prayed
for redemption.
Or maybe I knew that she was as
close to God as any human could
be.
And that through her, I was with
God too.
You see I was still trying to
figure out who God was and what
God meant.
But Agatha summed it up for me
just lying there, breathing,
with those plastic beads between
her fingers.
This woman was my fortress and
she was my belonging.
And through this woman, I was
given the guidelines for what
mattered in life.
Merit and study and hard, hard
work.
Music, dance, property and
people.
And that's a snapshot of my
portrayal of women; women in
media, women pro-active, women
together, girl power.
Thank you.
>> Victoria: I'm being told that
we have time for a question, so
anyone like, well just quickly
if we could just quickly,
rapidly, yes?
I can hear you.
>> It's more of a question is, I
love your talk;
>> Victoria: Thank you.
>> And I wanted to stress 2
things that I found.
First, the power that we have
that we sometimes, we don't
realize.
>> Victoria: Power.
>> The personal power.
We have tools now with social
media, a lot of people on
Facebook;
>> Victoria: Yes.
>> We stop buying and tell other
people.
>> Victoria: That's correct.
>> And the second is the act of
kindness.
We as women, we are more
critical of ourselves;
>> Victoria: Very critical.
>> We have to support other
women and try to not be so hard
as we would do as a man.
>> Victoria: Exactly.
>> And those are the 2 things,
and thank you for coming.
>> Victoria: Thank you very
much.
We have the power, we have the
social media tools.
We have to use it.
We have to do it again and again
and again until we get the
result.
Not just once but many times and
not to be so critical of our own
self imagery and also projecting
that on our own kids and other
friends.
You're good right where you sit
or stand.
You are enough.
Any last burning question?
Student, anybody?
Okay. Yes?
I can hear you, Ma'am.
>> Well I can talk loud anyway.
I'd just like to comment, to say
thank you for a product.
After retirement I became that
foster mom, the therapeutic
foster children.
And it's not often that we get
that pat on the back.
After the children had the grace
to see our product and that
they're doing very well.
>> Victoria: Thank you so much.
Thank you again for having me.
Appreciate it so much.
Take care.
I'll be having a book signing
outside.
>> Twyla: I want to start by
thanking Victoria for that
wonderful presentation.
Let's give her another round of
applause.
>> Twyla: As you know, March is
Women's History month and
Victoria's presentation provides
a wonderful way for RIT to
recognize the important role
women play in shaping society.
Planning an event such as this
requires a team of talented
professionals and I would like
to thank the program committee
and our student ambassadors for
all of their hard work and
dedication.
And I'm just going to ask if any
of them are in the room, if you
would just stand up so we can
give you a round of applause.
>> Twyla: I can't believe Grace
didn't stand up.
If you enjoyed this
presentation, I invite you to
attend another event today at
RIT.
We are fortunate to have
internationally known artist
Radcliffe Bailey in attendance
today.
Mr. Bailey will be giving a
lecture this afternoon on mixed
media art at 4 PM in the Web
Auditorium, which is located in
the Booth Building.
He will focus on his traveling
exhibition, Memory as a
Medicine, which recently opened
at the Davis Museum and Cultural
Center at Wellesley College in
Massachusetts.
And there will be a special
treat for all who attend.
I think it's okay for me to tell
you that Radcliffe Bailey is in
a very special partnership with
Victoria Rowell.
They are a dynamic wife/husband
team and they will be spending
time with RIT students, faculty
and staff throughout the day.
So again, thank you for joining
us and I hope that you will
leave today with a deeper
appreciation for some of the
issues that we women face in
today's society.
Thank you.