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Hey everybody it is Nick again and it is topic two, and topic two is dating experience. I
am way overly tired right now. Like you know when you get hyper tired and you can’t go
to sleep. So I have a piece of paper right here, trying to keep me on track. It just
fell, ok I got it. Um, I’m really excited about this topic and I was waiting for a day
that I wouldn’t be tired, but that didn’t happen. So I’m going to give it my best
shot. Ok, so I have only dated bio guys just for the fact that I haven’t had the chance
to date a trans guy. I would like to try and date a trans guy, I think it would be a lot
easier dating a bio guy. Just for the fact that we would have more in common and we would
understand each other a little better. And I have noticed that bio guys do have that
pre conception, or whatever, of trans guys. Like, “Oh well they have vaginas, blah blah
blah!” Like really? That shouldn’t matter at some point if you liked somebodies brian.
The other parts shouldn’t matter, but I get it, I understand. If you don’t live
the life.. If you don’t live a trans life, or you don’t live a hard life to make you
think outside the boxes. It is really hard to think outside your little cereal box, it
really is. It is very hard for people to understand other concepts from what they have grown to
know. And un tell you live a hard life and you have to learn to.. Because you get thrown
out of your box and you have to look, search outside of the box for different answers.
You’re not going to get it. And I understand that so, I don’t have any like, I don’t
hold that ageist people. They just have a more cookie cutter life then I do. So they
haven’t had the chance or need or want to look elsewhere. So I can’t default them
for that. The guys that I would like.. Um, I don’t like explaining it like this but
I am going to explaining it like this because it is the only way I can think of explaining
it right now. I am technically a top, I guess I am vers, but in my head I am a top. So I
am more top minded. So I would like a guy that is more of a bottom and that likes outdoorsy
stuff and that is a little bit less masculine then I am. Because I have that top personality,
so I do like to be the one to like bring flowers and all that kind of stuff. I know that in
a perfect world like, there’s.. Like I guess that is my perfect world scenario, but I don’t
know I hate putting stereotype *** together. It just sounds really bad, but that’s like.
That’s like the only way you can explaining it in stereotype words, I guess. So yeah,
the guys I would like to date are, a little fem, but not really, but still like to go
do outdoorsy and offroad and could go camping for a couple of days without seeing any one
else and be fine. And would not be scared when someone tells them there is a coyote
outside. Like a coyote is not going to hurt you, chill out. Ok, yeah I am really tired.
Ok, I am openly trans and in my community I am kind of openly trans now because I have
started doing out reach like to high schools and colleges. I am actually a co-facilitator
for a trans group. Like a trans support group, sorry I am really tired. And, so, people know
me that I don’t know and know I am trans. So I am just openly trans now. I put on all
my apps that I am trans, and I get complements a lot because I am trans and open. But then
again I see the down side of not letting people get to know first. And I am kinda concerting
that. But right now I’m kinda, I feel like it is my job to be open so I could do outreach
and teach people. And that is kind of a problem too.. Just for the fact that people do know
me. I was at Toucans and some body recognized me from a magazine, they where like, “You
are the trans guy in the magazine.” I was like, “Yes.. I am” But they are really
cool and they want to be your friend. But nobody wants to date you. And I think another
reason I have a hard time finding a dates. I am not really socially awkward pre say,
in my mind I am socially awkward. Um, and I am kind of like shy and first till I get
to know you. Like if I know you a little bit then I can open up my box and be out. But,
I am usually like in my box and I am sky and I don’t want to talk to strangers or whatever.
But I find myself that I can, but in my head I can’t. So it is more my head pulling me
back then anything. Um, So, yeah finding dates is hard but, then on the other hand.. This
video is getting more horrible by the second sorry. But yeah dating, dating is hard for
me. But I think eventually stop worrying about it. It is just going to happen, maybe not..
Hopefully so. Yeah… So I am excited about our next topic I don’t remember what it
was, I am sorry but we will find out Ok see you guys!