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GARY: Hello young man.
What are you going to sing for us today?
What are you gonna sing for us today?
CHRIS: It's one I've written myself.
GARY: I know. It says so in my script.
TULISA: Whenever you're ready.
MUSIC BEGINS
My hamster died when I was seventeen.
Work nine to five at the movie screen.
My grandma's got alopecia.
I'm lactose intolerant, can't eat pizza.
Before I sing I tell you my sob story
A manufactured tale to make you all vote for me.
Twelve months on and you're still not getting it
Every year it's the same old, same old
Every little second is designed to distract ya
You don't have to have talent to be on X Factor
Twelve months later there's nothing new
Feel like I'm living a de ja vu
You're picking out your favourites but the winner has already been picked
You know you can't resist it, you've got to get your fix
Give a girl a parasol to stop her looking bland
Take a bunch of soloists and put 'em in a band
Duplicate a superstar - 'cos that's originality
We need the girls to vote for you, so hide your sexuality
I don't know why you're voting, 'cos you're not influential
When everyone gets signed the final's inconsequential
Twelve months on and you're still not getting it
Every year it's the same old, same old
Every little second is designed to distract ya'
You don't have to have talent to be on X Factor
Twelve months later, there's nothing new
Feel like I'm living a de ja vu
You're picking our your favourite but the winner has already been picked
You know you can't resist it, you've got to get your fix
And then a hero comes along
To number one with a charity song
(charity song)
We're used to it, 'cos every year it's the same old, same old
Feel like I'm living a de ja vu
You're picking out your favourite but the winner's already been picked
Twelve months on and you're still not getting it
Every year it's the same old, same old
I think we need to show the show a little affection
'Cos without it we never would've have One Direction
Twelve months later there's nothing new
Feel like I'm living a de ja vu
You're picking out your favourite but the winner's already been picked
Twelve months on and you're still not getting it
Every year it's the same old, same old
Even though we know the show's a little misleading
There's nothing we would rather watch on Saturday evening
You've got to get your fix
Got to get your fix!
(MUSIC ENDS) GARY: Boys, that wasn't good...
It was absolutely fantastic!
Four yeses!