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hello and welcome to the mediator and blue jeans
I'm your host Shawna Leady and today I'm so excited
because we are starting the new marriage
pre-nup the mediator blue jeans guide
to preparing for marriage and the free now
well I just wanna go over quickly
what this series is going to involve
now the series will be in two parts first for
will be the marriage prep so on the things that you need to think about
discuss
workout before you get married and then the second part
will be the pre-nup so did the ins and outs of what a prenup involves
and how you can use that as a starting point
for some other more difficult and challenging discussions that you
any potential spouse might have so let's get started I'm so excited
so first we're going to talk about
the foundation a marriage now
what is it that you need in order to have a successful marriage
but first let's put it out there no one has a 100 percent perfect
all the time but if you start to think about what it's going to take.
because sometimes left has a strange way of teaching us what we don't know
and so we're in it and that is extremely true marriage
but like any good
endurance race between a team
you and your partner are team
you wanna make you wanna make it to the end you wanna make it
to the end to gather so that require some serious
conditioning a in getting used to things in situations that you may not
had in your single life so
first I am going to talk about the predictors of divorce
just so that you get an idea why some
couples aren't able to go to the distance
and that way you can be careful those
pit bulls that some couples fall into now if you experience
some of these predictors it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed
you really have to recognize what's going on and then seek help and
assistance
from people who can help you work through it
superstar gonna go through the predictors a divorce
then we are going to talk about communication skills
and your emotions in
being emotionally intelligent learning how to become more emotionally
intelligent
through your your marriage relationship you also
will undoubtably find yourself in conflict
and how conflict can actually build your marriage
not necessarily distorted unsuited
talk about that a little bit more and your Casa going to learn the importance
of creating boundaries
healthy boundaries between you and your spouse
your extended family members and friends so again
we're going to talk about boundaries how to set those up so that you can have
that healthy coexistence
we are also going to talk about what commitment fidelity means
is a nice love what even let the words
now being committee each other and being faithful
but what happens when temptation
enters the situation how will you guys navigate
individually in is a couple how we for tact and
on support your marriage in a way that
wards off anyone trying to come in invaded
take it down so burns happen a lot about
fidelity in that way, we will also talk about shared responsibility and accountability
see you to hear about you start to build a life together
there's nothing greater really and so you're starting to build a life
home together said that means that you guys are going to share the
responsibility
running the house making sure that your day to day stuff gets taken care of
and how you can hold each other accountable because again
if we think the Olympic teams they have to hold new team members accountable
just as you have to hold each other accountable but the
key here is being able to do that in a loving
supported way and we're going to get into
how you do that to make sure that you're actually using these opportunities
just to build your age now I'm not expecting you to be perfect
that would be unrealistic need to have a of you but
I again I just want to give you something to think about mull over
think about and if you are of
a particular faith that believes in prayer that I want you to pray about this as
well
so really would have meditate on these things to think about what you can
contribute
to your married life into your spouse and to the life you want to create
now the next series
marriage preparation topics we're gonna cover
will include identifying shared values
in your interest and you also need to think about how you're different as well
but most importantly figuring out that common ground
if you're marrying someone have a different culture if you're marrying
someone in the different faith these things are important
on these discussions are especially important before you have children
and so again we're gonna talk about having the shared values and interests
and recognizing where you may be difference
before you get married instead of while you're in
now we're awesome talk about money
we're gonna talk about the reality in
and the situation involving money in the running in the house
in creating you shared financial goals in getting to a place
where you can think of it as a team and work on
taking care the
your resources constructively we will also talk a lot about faith and
traditions
this is especially true not only if you come into the marriage
sharing a similar faith but also if you are of a different faith
and how that aspect can influence
the quality
and the decisions that you make throughout married in family life
we're also gonna talk about forgiveness
trust forgiveness is
not an easy process but it is a necessary process
in order to have during long standing relationship and I put
trust with forgiveness because they go hand in hand
when you're married you have to trust each other
implicitly meaning it has to be one the
cornerstones your relationship especially if you plan to go with the
distance
you need to establish trust someone talk about what happens when trust is lost
how can be gained and then how you can sort it move forward together
and then of course you have to have fun
and shared experiences life is too short to be in a relationship
which doesn't have any kind of fun excitement in it
so we're going to talk about the role
how fun and excitement in
or at least a change every now and then
doesn't necessarily mean a trip around the world
what do the things that you to enjoy together because you need to have that
you need to
touch base with each other through those fun in shared experiences
helps the rough edges
everyday life you know helps you whether those
so we're going to talk about how you're going to put in fun into your life and
yes
sometimes that might mean you have to schedule it in
but the most important thing is that you make that commitment to make sure that
fun
is in your marriage and then read and talk about healthy intimacy in the role
sex and on aspects of intimacy beyond
sex we will talk about healthy intimacy
because that is one in the significant differences
between your friendships and your marriage so we're going to talk about all these
things and I'm so excited if you have any questions
please go ahead and read it in the comments box
also make sure that you subscribe I don't want you to miss
one episode of this so again this is just the Foundation's
of marriage preparation and second part will
talk about after we finish the series in regards to the prenup
so until next time be fair with each other bye for now.