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bjbjLULU RABBINICAL REFLECTION RABBINICAL REFLECTION #14 Royal Wedding Scheduled to
air April 30, 2011 on Dave s Gone By. Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon, with a
Rabbinical Reflection for the week of April 30th, 2011. Mazel tov, mazel tov s over. Finally,
it s over. The biggest merger since A&P took over Waldbaums in 1986. I m talking, of course,
of the wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton, which, barring someone not
forever holding their peace, happened Friday in England. I have to say, I feel terrible.
Not for the bride and groom; he s rich, she s hot they re set for life. No, I feel bad
for the morning TV news shows. What will they talk about now that they have to send their
cameras back across the Atlantic? How will they fill twenty minutes out of every half
hour if they can t stop English people on the street and say, Hey, aren t you excited?
If they re not careful, these news programs are gonna have to resort to something drastic
like reporting news. I know, I m being a killjoy. But find me a Jew who isn t! More to the point,
I do have mixed feelings about the overdose of media coverage for what is, at its core,
a simple ceremony between a man and a woman. Or, if you re in Massachusetts, a man and
a man. Or if you re in Rhode Island, a woman and a woman which is my favorite. But turning
this semi-sacred ritual into an international media circus rankles, mainly because so much
pomp and circumstance and money is frittered away on a one-time event. Pundits have said
the marriage of Billy and Kate is just another distraction, a shiny bauble that hypnotizes
us into briefly forgetting just how screwed we are by every corporation in the world.
It s the media saying t look at that gas pump with five dollars a gallon on it; look at
Buckingham Palace with the horses, pretty horses. What? You re worried that your home
value just depreciated another ten percent? Come watch a princess shop for a dress that
s 30 times the value of your house! Doesn t that make you feel better? Now, I m not
saying there aren t positives about the whole marital megilla. Certainly England is getting
tons of tourism and free publicity, and part-time jobs for people willing to stand on street
corners and hawk souvenirs that say, He gets to bone her in the Palace, and all I got was
this lousy t-shirt. And I will also say that while the wedding is definitely a mindless
distraction, it s also happy news. How much of that do we get? Every day it s Syria this
and Democrats-versus-Republicans that, and a fire in the foothills and a serial ***
in the suburbs, and Tokyo melting down and Charlie Sheen melting down, and cancer victims
throwing up and glaciers thawing out until you just wanna pack it in. So for once, we
get a big, bright, beautiful happening: a ritual that upholds tradition while giving
everyone a parade and a party. Two nice young kids, the gorgeousness of London, and the
old woman can die now, she has an heir s all good. So while the temptation is to be a sourpuss
and go, millions of people are homeless and starving, and these bluebloods are eating
cake; the reality is, people are gonna be homeless and starving no matter what, and
a few hours of nuptial noodling isn t gonna make a farthing s worth of difference. And
hey, for those of you who are really jealous of the prince and princess and their billion-dollar
wedding just remember: They had one of these 30 years ago and we all know how that turned
out. Let s just hope this time, when the princess gets slammed in her tunnel, it s only a metaphor.
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of ***,
in Great Neck, NY. To the happy couple, L chaim! (c) 2011 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.
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