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(loud rattling)
(gasps)
You all right?
(sighs):
I hate flying.
It's just a little turbulence.
We'll be through it in a minute.
(gasps)
Mother of God!
This is kind of
embarrassing.
I mean, I treat people for this.
I'm a psychiatrist.
Well, there's
a small world.
I'm a psychiatrist, too.
Dr. Frasier Crane.
Oh. I've heard your show.
Dr. Anne Ranberg.
Lovely to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
(chuckles)
Well, don't let me
interrupt you.
You seemed kind of
deep in thought.
Oh, I suppose I was.
It's been a rather eventful
three weeks for me.
If you want to talk about it,
it might get our minds
off the flight.
It's really rather personal.
Nothing you'd be interested in
.
Okay, then.
(rattling)
So, I was dating
this woman.
Mm-hmm.
Weren't we on
our way to lunch?
Yes.
And then you followed me in here
when I came to get my briefcase
and uttered the fatal phrase
that no man can resist.
I said I like
your pillow shams.
Nice try,
my little temptress,
but I'm down
for at least an hour.
Do you still have time
for lunch before work?
Well, my show doesn't start
till 2:00, and it's only...
Oh, dear God!
Where the hell is he?
I don't know!
I called his cell,
I've called his house.
You're gonna have
to go on for him.
Me?
Yeah, you.
Well, I'm not.
Last time I did it,
it was a total disaster.
Aren't you always saying
you used to be a deejay?
Oh, 20 years ago.
I can't do that anymore.
It'll come back to you.
You got five seconds.
I can't!
I'm a nervous wreck.
My palms are sweaty,
my mouth is like cotton.
Hey, Emerald City!
Kenny Daly here.
Master of the mike,
baron of the booth,
the man of the hour,
too sweet to be sour.
The doctor's out today!
But Kenny's here,
filling the seat,
taking the heat.
I might even throw in
a call or two to Grandma Gert.
(old lady voice) :
But no kids. I hate kids!
Ooh-hoo,
she's in a mood today.
KENNY:
And who's this
coming into the booth?
Why, it's Percy Von Snootenheim.
FRASIER:
Turn that off.
I'm sorry I have to rush off.
I wish we could spend
the whole day together.
I don't leave for
Chicago until midnight.
I'll come over
and make you dinner.
Oh, that sounds great.
I'd love that.
Any requests?
Uh...
I liked what I had for lunch.
(laughs)
Why don't I just surprise you.
(chuckles):
Still sounding like lunch.
Isn't that
a great song, people?
Really brings back
the memories.
Sorry I kind of forgot
the words there in the middle.
So, let's toss it to the news.
Where the hell
have you been?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I had a doctor's appointment.
It couldn't be helped.
Just in time, Doc.
This turned out to be
one of your better shows.
Thank you, Kenny.
Darling.
Bebe! What are
you doing here?
I just came by...
to see my favorite client--
and the wonderful man
who's given him such
a happy, happy home.
Aw, you're the
best, Bebe.
Good news. I'm busting you out of
this hellhole.
What?
Did you ever hear
of Dr. Mark Reisman?
The San Francisco
radio psychiatrist?
Yes, we had a nice encounter
once at a conference.
Well, last week
he had a not so nice encounter
with a falling air conditioner.
Anyway,
they want you to replace him,
and the money's huge.
Poor Mark.
What a ghastly way to die.
Yes, I cried so hard,
it was all I could do
to stuff your demo tape
in the Fed Ex pouch.
But they want you.
Well, it's very
tempting, Bebe,
but I'm very happy
here in Seattle.
I don't want to leave.
Darling,
it's San Francisco.
Do you know what
life is like there
for a good-looking
straight man?
You'll be like a Snickers bar
at a fat camp.
Eh, no. My answer
is still no, Bebe.
I've got to begin my show.
Well, that's gratitude
for you.
Do you have any idea
the lengths I went to
to make this happen?
Wait a minute.
You were in San Francisco
last week.
Don't tell me...
I was nowhere near
that air conditioner.
You're worse than the police.
We're such a clich?--
little woman at the stove,
big, rugged man
with his brawny arm...
Ooh! The hollandaise
is breaking.
Dad.
I thought you
were going out
with Niles
and Daphne.
I'm waiting on Ronee.
Listen, Charlotte is leaving
for Chicago in three hours.
This is our farewell dinner.
Oh, hi, Martin.
Oh, hi.
How are you?
Don't worry. We're leaving.
I'm not gonna spoil
your romantic mood.
Hey, Ronee,
what, did you fall in?!
(doorbell rings)
Good heavens,
I thought
you were meeting them
downstairs.
That's what I thought, too.
Hey, Martin.
Oh, thank God
you're home, Doc.
I'm going a little crazy--
I need some advice.
Kenny, we just put dinner
on the table.
Oh, thanks, but I'm
too worked up to eat.
Doing your show today,
I... I got the fever.
I want to get back
behind the mike.
But should I quit my job,
throw away my whole career
and financial security
just to chase some
cockamamie dream?
Yes! Off you go.
You didn't even have
to think about it.
You always believed
in me, Doc.
(crying):
Kenny Daly.
Hi. Nice
to meet you.
This, is, uh, Charlotte.
I'm getting
all messy here.
Let me just pop into
the powder room real fast.
g!
MARTIN:
Ronee! While we're youn
Too late.
Well, have a great evening,
you two.
Yes, uh, thank you. Bye.
Oh, damn it, my contact
slipped. Hang on.
KENNY:
Whoa!
Whoa, yourself.
Do we know him?
Knock, knock.
FRASIER:Oh, for God's sake!
No, I know it's
your special night,
but my very pregnant wife
insisted we come up.
Sorry.
Won't be a minute.
KENNY:
Whoa!
Oh, sorry.
I'll just run down the hall.
Maybe I'll start
over on that dinner.
NILES:
I-I'm sorry
for intruding,
but nowadays Daphne
can't go ten minutes.
We're late
for everything.
Yes, well, you
know how Chez Henri hates it
when people are late,
so I'll tell you what,
why don't we call
for that elevator right now.
And tell Henri that
the first round of drinks
is on me.
Whiskey, please.
Simon!
Oh, Frasier! How are you?
Please leave
immediately.
(guffaws)
Hey...
Oh!
There's my little sister.
You're not so little
anymore there, are you?
Simon, what are
you doing here?
Well, I heard
you was knocked up,
so I-I brought you
a present.
Come on in, lads!
Oh, sis!
Oh, my God! Michael!
Hello, sis!
And Stephen!
SIMON:
We knew you'd be here
when we went to your house
and you wasn't there.
So we took the liberty
of leaving our things
in your guest room.
How did you get in?
How did we...
Stephen and Michael,
this is my husband Niles.
Oh, and his brother Frasier.
And this is Martin
and his fiance Ronee.
Hi. How are you?
And, sorry,
your name again?
Kenny.
Kenny.
(thick accent):
So, I'll tell
you what...
(speaking
indecipherable cockney)
I tell you what, he did
bloody well for himself.
SIMON:
That's right, Michael.
Frasier does very well
for himself.
Tell you what,
let's take the tour.
There will be
no tours!
MARTIN:
Listen, uh, why don't you guys
join us for dinner?
I'll lay the table.
Is this real silver?
Give me that!
(speaking
indecipherable cockney)
It's-it's a bloody great
ashtray, isn't it?
(shrieks)
Put that down!
You know, we could have
some real fun
if you got rid
of some of those people.
Oh, just give us
a minute, then, love.
(Charlotte screams)
Who is that creep?!
You know, I'm getting
some very mixed signals.
All right, that's it!
I want you all
out of here!
And I do not mean
a leisurely exit--
I mean a break-neck,
trampling-each-other,
this-theater's-on-
fire stampede!
All right, you know,
I can take a hint,
Frasier, right? Look.
That's a lovely woman
that you've got for yourself.
Congratulations.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, thank you.
Yeah, give us a call.
I'll be at...
Oh, get out of here!
Because it's not a word.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
Use it in a sentence.
Her grandmother's bed
was warm and quilty.
And why is she
lying there?
Because she's feeling
all "befevered" again?
Could I borrow your 'F'?
I've got a little message for you.
(phone rings)
Hello?
Okay. Thanks.
My car's here.
Mm.
I still don't know why
you won't let me drive you
to the airport.
No. I can't stand all
that airport good-bye stuff.
This is better.
Right.
Well, then...
Look, let's not...
Right, right.
Because...
if you start...
Yeah, me, too.
Okay, uh...
Well, then, uh,
good luck in Chicago.
Thanks.
Got your ticket?
Uh...
Yeah.
Great, great.
Oh, oh, listen,
I have a little
something here for you.
Damn it, I knew you
were gonna do something
sweet like that.
I didn't get you anything.
It's just a hair band
I found in the shower drain.
Thanks.
(chuckles):
Yeah.
Let me get your coat.
This wasn't supposed
to be so hard.
...
I don't know
about you, but
I've had enough easy good-byes.
I'm kind of glad
to have the chance
to have another
tough one.
Thank you
for a great three weeks.
Bye, Charlotte.
Bye, Frasier.
(sighs)
(rapid knocking)
Forgot my scarf.
Oh, oh, my fault.
(chuckles)
All right.
Bye.
Bye.
(rapid knocking)
Cell phone.
Oh! Oh, yes. Here.
Cell phone.
Here you go.
Ow!
Oh!
Oh...
Oh, oh...
I'm sorry.
No, it's...
it's my fault.
Lord...
Ay.
Yeah, uh...
Bye.
See you.
See you.
(groans)
(sighs)
(knocking)
Oh, for God's sake, what now?
We couldn't say good-bye
on a head butt.
Feel better?
Positively quilty.
Oh, hey, Niles.
Hi, Dad.
What are you
doing here?
Escaping.
I woke this morning
to find Daphne's brothers
playing a game called
"I Can Reach It From Here. "
Give you a hint--
the "it" was a toilet.
And there were
no winners.
Oh, also I stopped by to see
how Frasier's holding up.
He was asleep when I got home,
and he's still in bed.
He's probably depressed.
I'm sure this whole Charlotte
thing has got him bereft...
Shh, shh.
Morning, Dad.
Hey, Niles.
How's it going
? How you doing?
Let me get you
a cup of coffee.
I can get it.
I brought you some
of those cookies you like.
Milanos.
Oh, well,
thank you.
Now you just
sit down.
I made you
a little breakfast.
I see what's going on.
You think I'm in tatters
because Charlotte's
gone back to Chicago.
Well, I'm not.
I'm not going to say I won't
miss her like crazy.
But we knew going in
that our time was limited.
We made the most of it.
I have no regrets.
Morning.
Except for leaving
that door unlocked.
DAPHNE:
We thought you might
Iike to join us for brunch.
Darn. Niles and I just
reserved a squash court.
Yes, and we're on thin
ice with the appointments
director as it is.
He's already moved
our lockers
next to the
flip-flop drop.
(speaking
indecipherable cockney)
SIMON:
That's right, Michael.
Frasier has a very nice flat,
but you was here last night.
Was I?
Oh, I think I need
to sit down a minute
before we go.
Can you believe this baby
might be two weeks late?
STEPHEN:
He's a Moon all right.
Every lad in our family
was at least two weeks late.
Once we get comfy,
nothing budges us,
right, lads?
Right.
Can I get a glass
of water, please?
Glass of water, yes.
Right, right.
...
Oh, Frasier, be a good lad
(indecipherable)
Right, lads?
Three.
Do you have any idea
what he's saying?
Not a word.
Apparently Stephen was
dropped as a child.
I thought the mumbler was Michael.
He was dropped on Michael.
The idea that our son
might take after them
is making me crazy.
Now, Niles,
just remember
those hearty Crane genes
are in there, too.
Please. Those Moon genes have
probably beaten our genes up
and stolen their lunch money.
That is why I am taking action.
I was going to wait
to do this till tonight,
but I can see that
every minute is critical.
What's this?
This is called
the Born Musician.
You put this speaker
on the mother's stomach,
and it bombards the baby
with classical music,
thus instilling
a taste for higher culture.
The closest thing we had to that
was Dad bongoing out "Babalu"
.
on Mom's belly
Here we are.
Oh, Niles, look what
Stephen just gave me.
You know who'll be jealous?
Mrs. Zicklin from the building.
Doesn't she have
one just like this?
No, I don't think she does.
I brought you
a present, too.
This plays soothing music
for the baby.
You see, you put
this speaker here,
just like that.
And then if you want to hear
a selection of say,
I don't know, Vivaldi,
you turn this dial.
.
And then..
Goodness, he's never
kicked like that before.
We've got a little footballer in the family.
SIMON:
Finally we got
something we can drink to.
MICHAEL:
Let's go to the pub.
(all agreeing)
?? We hate Nottingham Forest??
?? We hate Liverpool, too??
And Leeds!
Are you coming, Martin?
I'm still waiting on Ronee.
We'll meet you
at the restaurant.
Okay.
Marty, I just
got off the phone
with the Branford Inn.
They called to confirm our
wedding reservation for May 1 5.
But we're getting
married July 1 5.
Yes, but they have us
down for May.
Apparently July 1 5 is booked
along with every other weekend
between now and October.
What happened?
I don't know.
You made the reservation.
For July 1 5.
I love how
she blames me.
Why would I randomly pick a...
Oh, no.
FRASIER:
What?
May 1 5-- Eddie's birthday.
Well, I'm sure you
can find someplace else.
We had our hearts set on
the Branford Inn.
It's where we had
our second date.
We had a little
too much wine,
and the couple
at the next table
said, "Get a room, "
and so we did.
Well, I guess I better start
thinking about Plan B.
Damn.
Well, I just feel
sorry for Ronee.
You know, her first wedding
was kind of bare-***.
That's why she had her heart s
on something special.
You know--
fancy menu, swing band,
flowers everywhere.
You need that once in your life.
You know, Dad, Niles
and I have been wondering
what to get you
for your wedding.
And maybe we could just
give you the wedding.
You still have
the Branford Inn
on the 15th.
But that's eight days away.
You'd have to get a caterer,
a justice of the peace.
I can officiate.
I still have my license
from that time I married
those two commitment-phobes on
my Valentine's show.
Are they still together?
Not the time, Niles.
Ronee, the boys
think they can
throw a fancy wedding
together by May 15th.
But that's
in eight days.
Well, it only took us four days
to throw together
our seafood-themed "Friends
of the Marina Bouilla-bash. "
Well, all right, good.
That's great of you guys.
Thank you.
Well, what
do you know?
Well, leave it
to the duke and duchess
to save our behinds.
I'm sorry.
Leave it to whom?
What, they don't
know about that one?
Just keep walking.
BOTH:
Well, obviously,
you're the duchess...
FRASIER:
Dancers.
(clapping)
Rehearsal is over.
Please wait
upstairs.
I don't want
anyone to see you
until the floor show.
(knocking)
I'm sorry.
We're still setting up.
Clint, would you
please go outside
and tell everyone
they can't come in here
until after the ceremony.
It will spoil
the entire reveal.
You can't blame them.
It's 90 degrees out there.
It's dripping wet.
I hope our Chinese acrobats
are sufficiently rosined.
MARTIN:
Holy mackerel.
You guys
are amazing.
Well, I'm glad you
like it, you two,
but listen, you've
got to go get changed.
You're getting married
in ten minutes.
Traffic was bad--
we got stuck
behind this old bus,
a church group, I think.
Good. Our gospel
choir is here.
Niles, go make
sure they're
fitted with
their angel wings
and give them all
a meal voucher.
(knocking)
ROZ:
Frasier!
Roz, I'm sorry.
I can't let you in.
I know it's warm out there...
Tell you what, go have
a cool drink with Kenny.
I just did.
He told me all about
his new deejay job.
Oh, well, good for him.
I'll come down
and give him a hug.
Well,
bring a towel.
He just sweated
through a hammock.
This sucks.
The softest boss we
ever had is leaving.
Come on, Frasier.
Let me in. It's hot.
All right, Roz.
I can't say I blame you.
It's like the ninth
circle of hell out here.
Do you love
this weather or what?
Bebe, what are you doing here?
Your strategy
worked, you genius.
What strategy?
Turning down
the San Francisco job.
They offered you
20% more money
and thrown in a weekly TV gig
on the morning news.
Television?
Well, that certainly
sounds tempting, but...
but my home is here.
There are more important
things than money.
Yes, I know. There's power,
but money can buy that.
Bebe!
Fine.
If you don't like
the terms of the deal,
I'll have another
swing at it.
Did that old man
just faint?
What?!
Oh, good Lord.
That's my cannon operator.
At the end of the ceremony,
he's supposed to fire
that antique cannon.
I'm not sure there's
anybody else
who knows how to work
the damn thing.
(groans)
Frasier!
Niles!
BOTH:
Disaster!
Dear God. You first.
Our cannon man
is down-- heatstroke.
Our flower girl
is down-- drunk.
The flower girl?
Apparently someone
gave her champagne.
Who would give liquor
to a six-year-old girl?
Party's here, lads.
Simon, did you give our
flower girl champagne?
I may have.
Well, the poor little thing was nervous
about getting
her part right.
Nervous.
Here's our little
ring bearer.
Ronee will be down
in two minutes.
Oh, great.
Still no flower girl, and
now no one to fire our cannon.
Cannon?
If it's a cannon
you need fired,
Michael's your man.
DAPHNE:
Oh, yeah.
He's a great one
for shooting things.
Which foot is it that's
missing two toes?
Um... that one.
All right, then,
come along,
all of you.
See if you can figure
out this thing.
Now, your cue to fire it
is when I say,
at the end of the ceremony,
"Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Martin Crane. "
You got it?
(speaking
indecipherable cockney)
Boom.
Is Eddie growling?
It's his stomach. Poor thing
hasn't eaten since morning.
We can't have him
rumbling up the aisle.
Give him some of that pate.
Ooh, Roz,
do you think
that we could enlist Alice to be our flower girl?
What do
you say, honey?
Sure.
Oh, that's splendid news.
Here, take these rose petals.
You're suppose to strew them in the aisle
as you lead the
procession in and out.
NILES:
You know what?
Guess I better
give our ring bearer
his precious cargo.
FRASIER:
Roz!
Her cue to lead
the procession out
at the end of the ceremony
is when I say,
"Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Martin Crane. "
(cannon booms)
Not now!
(tires squealing, thud)
What the hell was that?!
What are you
looking for?
The ring.
I dropped it when...
It's in the pate.
Eddie, no!
FRASIER:
Just our luck.
,
When the gun went off,
it startled a truck driver
and he slammed
into a lamppost.
Now the entire
roadway is blocked.
Can anything else
go wrong at this wedding?
What?
There's a veterinarian's
five minutes from here.
I'm sure he can make Eddie
cough up that ring.
All right,
then off you go.
Both of you.
Hurry, please.
We've only got
the skywriter till 5:00.
Clint, could you please
turn up that air conditioning,
to the maximum?
That ice sculpture
over there
is by the renowned artist
Arthur Nudzac
and it's melting already.
(rattling, hissing)
What's that?
We just blew out
the compressor.
Just don't stand there.
Please, call a repairman.
!
.
Frasier... Frasier
You've got to let
these people in.
Yes, Roz, I'm sorry.
I know it's warm...
No, it's not the heat.
That truck that just crashed
was full of cattle.
Well, the sound of gentle
mooing in the background
might lend a pastoral effect.
Cattle,
Frasier.
Large, undiapered cattle
that just heard
a cannon go off.
Oh, all right,
I'll handle this.
Uh, wedding guests,
we thank you
for your cooperation
and your patience...
People, please, please.
Okay, here
are your pills.
Twice a day.
And you feel better,
Mr. Kitty-Cat.
(screeching)
?
.
Who's next
I am.
Oh, gosh.
NILES:
Um, actually,
we have an
emergency here.
Our dog
swallowed a ring
and it's holding up
a whole wedding.
Go ahead. I can wait.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Boy, no easy cases today.
Talk about hitting
the ground running.
Is this your first day?
Yep. I'm not i
n Kansas anymore.
Where'd you go
to vet school?
Kansas.
All right.
Here we go.
Hold his mouth open.
I'll see if I can get
his paw down his throat.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Why don't I just take your pooch
.
to the other room here
and I'll be right back
Excuse me. Thank you.
All right, buddy.
Thank you. Thank you.
He has no idea
what he's doing.
He's just new at this.
He's nervous.
I've been a bit
nervous meself lately.
Ever since me brothers
showed up.
Really? Why?
Well, you know,
the way they keep
patting my stomach
and saying
"
.
"He's a Moon all right
Oh, my God, yes.
And every time
they say that,
all I can think is
what if he's not?
What if he's like
you and Frasier?
Excuse me?
A Moon boy I know
how to handle.
But what if he'?
a little genius,
teasing me in Frensix?
by the time he's
I've been worried
he's going to turn out
Iike one of your brothers.
I was sure when he kicked
that speaker off your belly
that you had
a little Simon in there.
They are a handful,
my brothers.
I can just imagine
the hell they're
raising back there.
With an open bar?
Oh, my God!
My water just broke.
The baby's coming.
Because I said "open bar"?
Oh!
All right, okay,
all right.
Don't, don't panic.
There's plenty of time
to get you to a hospital.
The hell there is!
He's coming right now.
Here's your ring.
Call an ambulance.
My wife's having a baby.
There's no time
for an ambulance.
(gasping)
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You know what?
You call 91 1,
and I'll just
get started here.
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm going to wash
my hands.
(gasping)
Are you sure
you know what
you're doing?
Oh, I've assisted in many
deliveries, ma'am.
One just took blue rib
bon at the Kansas State Fair.
Oh, my God!
Easy now. You'
re doing great, girI.
Don't call me that!
I'm not a bloody poodle.
Yes, hello, hello.
We're at... We're at
1206 East Village Road.
My wife's gone into labor.
They say the hospital
is 20 miles away.
Can you make it
if I drive you?
(yells)
She says no.
All right, they're on their wa
They're on their way.
Now you just calm down.
Focus on me and breathe.
(wheezing)
Oh, for God's sakes!
Oh! Oh!
Is everything okay in here?
.
We're fine
Okay. If you need any help,
I'm a registered nurse.
Get the hell back in here!
Easy, girl.
Stop that!
Roz, do not open a window
until they tow
that cattle truck!
.
Oh, my God.
It's a million degrees in here
We got to get
a breeze going.
(all gagging)
Oh, my God!
Dad, Ronee,
we're almost ready to start.
What's that smell?
Smell?
Congratulations, you two.
Everything's just perfect.
.
Sorry I can't stay
What's happening?
There's been a bit
of a mishap
with a cattle truck,
and the AC's out.
But no matter. Right, people?
It'll take more than that to mar our joy
in seeing these two become
Mr. and Mrs. Martin Crane.
(cannon booming)
(cell phone ringing)
Hello.
Well, finally, Niles.
Stop babbling.
.
Niles, you'll have to speak up
I can't hear you with that bab
screaming in the backgrou...
Oh, my God!
Isn't he perfect, Dad?
He certainly is, Mom.
He's got your eyes
and my chin.
He's got my hair.
Do you think so?
No, he's got my hair.
Let go, dear.
If you can part with him
for just two seconds,
I should finish
cleaning him up.
Of course.
We can't thank
you two enough.
Oh, please.
Really. If there's ever anything
that we can do for you.
You can do me
one quick favor.
My Jason is kinda overdue
for his lunch.
Of course.
Hello? Niles?
Boy, some day, huh?
Getting married
and meeting my grandson
all in the same
afternoon.
Hey, you guys,
you're just in time.
Come on in.
Don't stare.
You were no prize
at that age either.
Oh, look who's her
e. Hello.
Here we go.
Oh, my God.
He's beautiful.
That twin's gonna be jealous
his whole life.
Your ambulance should
be here any minute,
so I think
I'm going to go.
All right. Here.
Thank you again.
You sure you don't want me
to check your monkey?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hey there, you.
I'm the one who's
gonna spoil you rotten.
You're so sweet to come down,
but what about your wedding,
all those people?
Ah, they'll keep.
Yeah, as long as there's
an open bar.
Ooh! Settle down there.
(siren wailing)
I guess
that's our ride.
I'm so sorry we're going
to miss your wedding.
So are we.
I feel like it's
me own dad getting married.
It's not going to be the
same without you guys up there.
I don 't want
to forget the rings.
Hey, wait a minute.
Why don't we just
get married here?
We've got the rings
and the preacher.
What about
all the guests?
We can do it again
for them later.
And at least this place
only smells like a monkey.
.
Well, I'm game
Get crackin', Fras.
You know, I'm gonna
condense this just a bit.
I don't need that.
And I don't need that.
Ah. "It was the great thinker
Horace Walpole... "
Don't need that.
Well, all right then. Uh...
Dearly beloved...
Someone call for an ambulance?
Just a couple of seconds,
please.
Niles, why don't
you give them the rings?
Cut to the chase here.
Do you, Martin Crane,
take Ronee Lawrence
to be your lawfully wedded wife,
forsaking all others
until death do you part?
I do.
Do you, Ronee Lawrence,
take Martin Crane...
I do.
.
Oh, I'm tearing up
If they'd let me say
what I planned to,
you'd be bawling
your eyes out right now.
By the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
NILES:
Yay!
(applause)
We're ready now.
We're so happy
for you both.
Congratulations.
And you will always remember
your anniversary
because it's the same day
as your grandson's birthday.
Yeah, and Eddie's.
What?
Never mind.
Eddie's birthday is today?
So that's how you came up
with May 15th for the hotel?
Uh...
I knew it.
And you've been blaming
the inn all this time.
You are so busted.
That was a short honeymoon.
Hello, Lilith.
Hey. It's me.
Yeah, listen, I was just calling
to check out how Freddy's doing.
What? A new one?
I thought he was smitten
with the old one.
Well, you know,
he gets that from me.
Back in my heyday,
I had a new chess coach
every month.
Well, I'm spending
a lot of time alone lately.
Oh, you know, Dad and Ronee
are still on their honeymoon.
Oh, yes, they thank you
for that very thoughtful
radon detector you sent.
Not seeing much of Niles
and Daphne either
because they're so busy
with the baby.
Oh, sorry to keep you.
Just tell Freddy to call me.
Okay, bye, Lilith.
(doorbell rings)
Oh.
Here to pick up a chair.
It's right there.
Sorry I'm late.
It's all right.
Been waiting long?
1 1 years.
Be careful with it.
(sighs)
Bebe, hi. It's Frasier.
Listen, about that
San Francisco job.
I think I'll take it.
?
.
Have you heard anything,
Frasier?About what
The new station manager
they're announcing today.
My stomach is in knots.
I just know
they're going to replace
sweet, kind-hearted Kenny
with some ruthless, draconian...
Hard ***.
That would hardly
make up for it.
Frasier.
Bebe. Oh...
I'll let you know if
I hear anything, guys.
It's done.
When destiny calls,
Bebe calls back
and screws destiny
to the wall.
Yes, yes, yes. Shh.
I don't want anyone to find out.
I'm not telling my family
until this evening.
I'm so proud of you.
Bebe, listen, I have
something for you.
I've decided to give away
some of the things
I've accumulated
through the years.
Sort of a fresh start,
you know.
.
My baby's all grown up
I look in your eyes
and I see something there
that I've never seen before.
Wisdom?
Crow's feet.
Sorry, darling, but you're
going to be on TV now.
I talked to my face man.
He can see you at 4:00.
Well, thanks, Bebe, but, no.
I'm not talking surgery,
just a little tweaking.
20 minutes.
I've used him for years.
And I'm sure he's very good
at what he does,
but still it's just...
I'm done next door, so
I'll be in the car, Mom.
4:00 it is.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Bye.
You heard something,
didn't you?
Yeah.
Roz, are you
all right?
Of course not.
She's ashen with terror.
Spit it out, Roz.
Who's the
jack-booted tyrant
whose *** I'll be kissing till God knows when?
Me.
Joyful news, Your Majesty.
You?
Roz, congratulatio
ns. Aren't you excited?
I don't know. I...
It just hasn't sunk in yet.
That's understandable.
I remember when I
heard that my advice
...
would be heard by
millions of people
It just sunk in!
I'm the boss!
Who wants to go have champagne?
Oh, gosh, Roz,
I'd love to,
but I have to go to
a doctor's appointment.
Can you come to my place
for dinner tonight?
Sure.
I'm so happy for
you.
I'm just so excited.
(breathing heavily)
Well, was that worth
waiting for?
He asked you
a question, Roz.
Bebe, it's Frasier.
When you get this,
call me please.
I want to thank you
for sending me
to that quack of yours today.
He screwed something up and now
my eyes won't stop watering.
There she is.
Congratulations.
And to you.
Hey, does anyone know
what this big occasion is?
We had plans
and Frasier made us cancel.
We're not sure either.
He said he had some sort
of an announcement to make.
Hey, Roz.
Aw, there he is.
Oh!
Hey, David...
Remember me?
I'm your grandpa.
Yes, and I'm your...
Sorry. I just...
I can't say it yet.
Frasier, I brought
some champagne if...
Were you just crying?
No. No, Roz,
of course not.
Could you take
these out for me?
Sure.
Thank you.
Is Frasier okay?
Sure. Why?
Well, I think he was crying
in the kitchen.
I hope he's okay.
He's been to the doctor
an awful lot lately.
Has he?
Yeah. He went today.
And he missed a whole show
because of an appointment
last week.
He hasn't said anything to us.
Ronee,
I saw you admiring
this china pattern.
Oh, yeah, it's beautiful.
Well, I'd like to make
a gift of them to you.
There's a complete set.
Gosh, Frasier.
Thank you.
Oh, Niles...
I know how much
you've always coveted
this chess set.
I want you to have it.
But this is your favorite.
This is the one
you learned on.
Which is why I want
it to be the set
that you teach that son
of yours to play on.
I haven't forgotten
about you, Roz.
I'll be right back.
I don't like this.
Well, now let'
s not get alarmed.
Marriage in the air
and a new baby...
it's just brought out
his sentimental side.
(telephone rings)
(over answering machine):
Frasier, it's Dr. Hanning.
I'm really sorry
about your results.
I know it doesn't look good,
but I'm going to do everything l can for you.
Call me.
(beep)
Oh, my God.
You think that's why he
brought us all here tonight?
Here we are, Roz.
I thought this art deco mirror
seemed like you.
(cries)
That just shows you.
I thought I'd get
the bigger reaction
from the chess set.
Frasier, what'
s going on here?
Yeah, giving all
your stuff away...
you're not going
anywhere, are you?
Well, I didn't want to say
anything until after dinner,
so as not to bring down
the party, but...
(groans)
I see you're
all ahead of me.
Listen, a couple of weeks ago
I got some unexpected news.
(sobs)
Now, you see, this
is exactly what I
was trying to avoid.
You mustn't think
of my leaving you
as a sad thing,
because I don't.
I think of it as an adventure.
(cries):
Oh, Frasier, no...
Look, we all knew we weren't
going to stay together forever.
That's not what life is about.
Cry if you must,
but I assure you
when I pass through that
Golden Gate, I will be smiling.
..
(choked up):
Golden gate.
Yes.
That's where I'm moving
to, San Francisco.
What?
My new job.
I start next week.
Now don't just sit there
choking back the tears.
Go ahead. Let them out.
I can't believe it!
(laughing)
To San Francisco.
To San Francisco.
To San Francisco.
You know, it's just
an hour by plane,
so I'll be coming back up
as often as you like.
Oh, we know, Fras.
Don't worry about us.
We're happy for you.
I'm happy for myself...
and scared, too.
But it's a good scared.
Sort of the way I felt
when I came here from Boston.
But if I hadn't done that,
.
just look at what
I would've missed out on
And...
Iook what I would've missed out on.
God, they are
so beautiful.
And they'll stay like that
as long as she keeps
breast-feeding.
Niles, could you take the baby?
I need to get a blanket.
Sure.
.
This is pretty comfortable.
I would've been okay with this
Let me just help you
with some of those dishes.
Oh, handsome boy.
Yes.
And to think I had myself
all worked up
worrying that we would have
nothing in common.
Oh, I've been there, Niles.
It all works out.
Well, Marty,
we better get going.
I got a crazy
morning.
Me, too.
I've got a 7:30 meeting
and then I've got
to fire someone.
Who?
Whoever scheduled
the 7:30 meeting.
We should go, too, honey.
If you really must
go, all right,
but I'll tell you what.
Don't go without taking some
of these eclairs with you.
I'm on TV next week.
The only thing worse
than them go to waste
would be seeing them
go to my waist.
(chuckles)
What?
It just hit me.
You're really leaving.
What will I ever do
without you?
You're the sweetest,
most wonderful...
It's okay, Roz.
He's not going till next week.
Let her talk, Dad.
You've always been
just like a brother to me.
Which is weird, I know,
because we slept together,
but... well, you know.
Oh, move over, Roz.
You know how many operas
I'm going to get dragged to
now you're not around?
I promise I'll fly up
for all the German ones.
And he'll be here for Christmas
and Thanksgiving and birthdays.
We'll be sick of this guy.
Dad's right.
Once I'm gone, there'?
I be no getting rid of me.
(chuckles)
Thank you, Frasier,
for... well, you know.
Go get 'em, kid.
Sure.
You already made me
cry once tonight.
That's quite enough.
Right. Coffee tomorrow?
10:30.
I'll miss the coffees.
Now, look...
you all know
how I feel about you.
The only reason
I'm leaving is because
I want what all of you
have now, a new chapter.
Who knows if it'll
even work out?
But it's like that Tennyson po
Mom had us recite for you
when we were kids.
You remember?
I think we're about to.
"It may be the gulfs
will wash us down,
"It may be we shall touch
the happy isles,
"And though we are not now
that strength
"which in old days
moved earth and heaven,
"That which we are, we are...
"...Made weak by time and fate,
"but strong in will
"To strive, to seek, to find,
and not to yield. "
I've been thinking about
that poem a lot lately.
And I think what it says
is that while it's tempting to play it safe,
the more we're willing to risk
the more alive we are.
In the end, what we regret most
are the chances we never took.
And I hope that explains,
at least a little,
this journey on which
I'm about to embark.
I have loved every minute
with my KACL family
and all of you.
For 1 1 years you've heard
me say, "I'm listening. "
Well, you were listening, too.
And for that
I am eternally grateful.
Good night, Seattle.
We had a big party that nigh
t. It was all very sweet.
(small thud)
What was that?
Oh, good heavens.
We've touched down.
Already?
Well, thank you so much.
I've never had an easier flight.
And I've never had m
ore delightful company.
I think it's great
what you're doing.
it
Well, I just know
I'd always regret
if I didn't take the chance.
FLIGHT A TTENDANT:
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Chicago.
Wish me luck.