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Food is the least of it
When I finally felt on the brink of death
because my body could take no more.
My life is so empty and meaningless,
that these bursts of emotion are what keeps me alive.
I may not have eaten for two days; maybe I could bear three, to see what happens
When I arrived here, I looked at the girls and thought: "Well actually, I'm not so bad.
That is real anorexia."That was what I believed, but then I realized that I had
indeed been sick and still am.
Ten out of every hundred women in Mexico suffer from anorexia. indeed been sick and still am.
Ten out of every hundred women in Mexico suffer from anorexia.
Five of them eventually die from it.
I think that it is actually related to self-esteem; you need to be told from a young
age that what is inside counts, and not your appearance. All you see are unreal
photographs, which do not show what is truly important.
The rest suffer the consequences of the disease for the rest of their lives.
The best way to describe myself is that I was disarticulated. You get disarticulated
and stop feeling.
The first phase was restricting myself.
The diets made me lose weight and I felt better, but then came the hunger. It began
to occupy my mind constantly: what I would eat, how much, and where I would
throw up. There were periods when I would throw up three times a day.
I need to control what I eat.
Despite all the indifference, is there not some love left? Love of one 's self.
I need to accept that I am insecure
That I am afraid
I want to experience the life waiting for me outside
I want to live life in color.
To learn to deal with life in another way, that does not concern food.
The main benefit that I have received from this training has been to realize that I
genuinely like who I am.